Yes indeed, some random thoughts on this 'n' that beginning with some good news for the 'Memsahib' although I must admit she looked somewhat less than ecstatic when I told her. I have decided to go on the pill! Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT) they call it and 'by golly, it tastes good, it looks good and it does you good', as the old advert used to say. According to The Mail, pumping old men full of testosterone is being recommended by doctors as a means of reducing heart attacks, although given the additional, er, 'exercise' that might ensue I find that hard to believe!
Actually, this comes under the heading of another of those 'creepie coincidence-thingies' which plague my life. Just as I was about to set off to my 'quack' and order up a crate of HRT I read in The Mail (where else?) that the lovely Tess Daly is having 'a little local difficulty' with that rat-bag husband of hers. I did warn her that you can never trust a man who smiles all the time and once again I have been proved right.
For the benefit of my foreign readers I should explain that the delectable Ms. Daly is the hostess of the 'Strictly Come Dancing' show which I watch regularly - with the sound off except when she appears! I have written to her several times before but such is the state of our postal services these days that obviously they have not arrived because she has never replied.
Finally, I am becoming increasingly worried about the Jocks. I have got used to their habit of walking around in skirts but matters have taken a bizarre turn. Again from The Mail, we learn that the leader of the Scottish Labour Party has come out as a lesbian which might portend a Labour-Tory, er, merger because the leader of the Scottish Tories is also a lesbian - oh dear, my mind just boggled! The Scottish Secretary of State has already outed himself as a homosexual, and the leader of the Scottish Greens is trying to have the best of all possible worlds by swinging on both sides of the street - he's probably a Campbell, you can never trust those buggers, as my auld Ma used to say! In simpler days of yore, a 'Glesga kiss' meant a head butt, these days it might mean a real deep tongue job from a hairy Jock or even a hairy Jockette - "Oh, the horror, the horror!" We must await news from my e-pal Jimmy who is, I believe, undertaking an in depth investigation - yeeeeeeeeees, quite!
David, do ya ever wonder how come it is that a pretty young " lady" as this can have her makeup on just right even whilst undergoing a tumble in the sack?
Posted by: Whitewall | Monday, 04 April 2016 at 12:40
Instead of HRT, just buy yourself a red convertible and drive it until things are better.
Posted by: Whitewall | Monday, 04 April 2016 at 12:44
No, no, Whiters, the lady in the picture is my beloved Tess Daly, the totally pure and innocent wife of the unmitigated ratbag next to her!
Posted by: David Duff | Monday, 04 April 2016 at 12:45
Well, Whiters, I did once drive my little Toyota with the sunroof open an inch or two but I can't say it improved my sex life!
Posted by: David Duff | Monday, 04 April 2016 at 12:47
"Pure and innocent" huh? You still grow 'em like that over there? Must be an isolated county way off.
Posted by: Whitewall | Monday, 04 April 2016 at 13:05
You know what helped my sex life? I bought a treadmill ... And I gave it to my wife.
Posted by: Dom | Monday, 04 April 2016 at 13:55
Deafening silence from James in Glasgow - still investigating Jimmy? Take it easy, man!!
Posted by: Cuffleyburgers | Monday, 04 April 2016 at 15:41
Our man Jimmy is 'very' thorough I believe.
Posted by: Whitewall | Monday, 04 April 2016 at 17:32
Well gentlemen I was not surprised by this Earth shaking revelation about Dugdale. She seems a nice wee lass but is out of her depth in politics.
All we need now is for Sturgeon to come out and we will have a choice between three Dykes for Scottish leadership. John Knox would be impressed.
Posted by: jimmy glesga | Monday, 04 April 2016 at 20:52
Whitewall, I had a thought that if I pretended to be a bent shot I may get nominated for an unsafe Labour seat. All Labour seats are unsafe so what the hell! May as well go for it.
Posted by: jimmy glesga | Monday, 04 April 2016 at 21:21