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Monday, 30 May 2016


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Sounds about right. Which reminds me; why were you having to break your back gardening the other day? What are you paying the Memsahib for? No heart, women; I've noticed it before.

I know, I know, Oswald, it's a hard life! (Er, but don't tell the 'Memsahib'!)

Reading your erudite commentary, I was reminded of an old post which made mention of an American Chilli competition.

I give the link and hope that your readers appreciate the sentiments expressed therein.

I do! I do! I hate chilli and curries and all those hot, spicy dishes and I feel for 'Judge #3'!

Texans have no sense at all when it comes to chili. I have tasted some that made me grab my head hoping my face hadn't fallen off. Too late. It had removed itself from my skull and was out in the middle of the high way screaming obscenities. Law enforcement came and gave my face a ticket for public disruption.

I would have paid good money to see that!

Hang on, hang on, as usual you doing it wrong. The man doesn't 'just' flip the meat. He picks it up on a spatula and lays it down again in exactly the same spot. Then he presses it down, so that it sizzles in an exciting way, and the flames leap up and make him feel as though he's actually cooking.

That's BBQing.

Your description actually reminds me a great deal of Stage managing. I arrange everything so that the actor has to do nothing except lounge onto the stage and speak their lines, and everyone says afterwards what a wonderful performance it was. I feel like Angier in "The Prestige", taking his bow to an applauding audience under the stage ;-)

As always, this blog is an education, er, not for my poor readers but for me! I've never heard of Angier in "The Prestige", I had to look it up.

As for your snide description of male BBQing, alas, I am in no position to argue because I cannot undertake the exercise without several dry martinis, after which my meat usually ends up on the floor!

BBQing has to be a manly effort because there is an element of danger in it. Open flame harkens back to primitive times. Males are basically better dressed primitives. Mayfly, what's a spatula? A double pronged instrument of war is the proper tool.

It might be for you, Whiters, trying to turn those mammoth American steaks the size of Texas (a garden fork might be best!) but for us effete Brits a spatula is fine.

Yes indeed, none of this using a hefty javelin for cooking, we have to use the sort of implement which ensures that at least one item falls to the floor, only to be placed carefully back on the BBQ when no one is looking. Unless the dog gets there first.

I have to admit, "The Prestige" is one of my favourite movies, but you do have to watch it more than once to find out what "the greatest trick of all time" is....

Hmmmmn! Might have to wait for a replay on the telly.

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