A cocklecarrot catastrophe

I keep referring in these distinguished columns to 'Cocklecarrots' and I suddenly thought that it must be incomprehensible to both my foreign readers and my younger readers, er, assuming I have any!  Anyway, by way of explanation when I refer to judges as Mr. or Mrs. Justice Cocklecarrot I am stealing (guilty, m'Lud!) the name of a fictional judge invented by a columnist in the Daily Express who decades ago wrote under the pseudo name of 'Beachcomber', probably because his own full name was John Cameron Audrieu Bingham Michael Morton!   His 'reports from the courts' were usually hilarious.  Here's an example reprised by www.webring.com (for which many thanks) and has gone down in 'legal history' as 'The Case of the Twelve Red-Bearded Dwarfs':

Mr Justice Cocklecarrot began the hearing of a very curious case yesterday. A Mrs Tasker is accused of continually ringing the doorbell of a Mrs Renton, and then, when the door is opened, pushing a dozen red-bearded dwarfs into the hall and leaving them there.

An expert witness is called...

Mr Bastin Hermitage (for the defence):  Now, Dr Spunton, is there, to your knowledge, any disease which would account for Mrs Tasker's strange habits?
Dr Spunton:  There is. It is called rufo-nanitis. The spymptoms-
Mr Hermitage:  Symptoms.
Dr Spunton:  Yes, spymptoms, but I always put a 'p' before a 'y'.
Cocklecarrot:  With what object, might we ask?
Dr Spunton:  I can't help it, m'lud.
Cocklecarrot:  Do you say pyesterday?
Dr Spunton:  Pyes, unfortunatelpy. It's hereditarpy. Mpy familpy all do it.
Cocklecarrot:  But why 'p'?
Dr Spunton:  No, py, m'lud.

Later

The court had to be cleared owing to the roars of ribald laughter which greeted the appearance in the witness-box of the twelve red-bearded dwarfs all in a heap. Their names were read out amid growing uproar. The names appeared to be: Sophus Barkayo-Tong, Amaninter Axling, Farjole Merrybody, Guttergorm Guttergormpton, Badly Oronparser, Churm Rincewind, Cleveland Zackhouse, Molonay Tubilderborst, Edeledel Edel, Scorpion de Rooftrouser, Listenis Youghaupt, Frums Gillygottle.

Cocklecarrot:   Are these genuine names?
A Dwarf:          No, m'worship.
Cocklecarrot:  Then what's your name?
Dwarf:             Bogus, m'ludship.
Cocklecarrot:  No, your real name.
Dwarf:             My real name is Bogus, your excellency.

(At this point the court had to be cleared)

That gives you the flavour of the late Mr. Morton's humour!  However, at this point I must wipe the smiles from your faces by referring you to the all-too-true Mrs. Justice Mary Hogg DBE who recently retired from Families Division of the High Court where she had served most of her judgeship.  She it was who a year ago used the full power of her court to insist that a little girl who had been removed to the care of her grandparents was to be returned to a father who was, and still is, a man of known violence.  Further, Mrs. Cocklecarrot-Hogg also issued strict instructions that Social Service workers were to leave the family alone!

Today, the father, Ben Butler, was sentenced to a minimum 23-year sentence for the slaughter of his 6-year old daughter, Ellie Butler whom he threw across a room and into a wall.

I trust that Justice Cocklecarrot Mary Hogg DBE enjoys a serene retirement and does not suffer with bad dreams!

 

Comments

[JK]

DAMMIT David! (JK says in the mostest exasperatingliest possible way!)

You have any idea how much time and now, anguished JK has wasted poring over each word & searching for (again, wasting effort!) some obscure non-existent Charles Dickens?

Oh go ahead and chortle. I suppose you deserve it David ...

[JK]

Sorry David.

I hadn't bothered to read further.

[Uncle Mort]

Pyears ago I knew a chap called Bogus. Mind pyou I knew manpy more who were bogus.

[David Duff]

JK, you are hereby ordered by Lord Cocklecarrot Duff to cease and desist from using italics on the grounds that you keep forgetting to switch them off and I have to do it! Honestly, what's that Barney Magroo selling you these days!

Uncle Mort, you are a very witty fellow.

[jimmy glesga]

Well done David for mentioning this atrocity and the judiciary who were asleep. Poor wee girl. I hope the bastard has visitations from the non violent inmates slowly and over a period. He may not last 23 years.

[Whitewall]

Jimmy, congrats on your safe return from London!

[David Duff]

Don't worry, Whiters, London wouldn't dare lay a finger on 'ur wee Jimmy'!

[jimmy glesga]

David and Whitewall it was great tae see oor old Queenie. Whitewall you should propose her temporary reinstatement as honorary Queen in the USA Congress. You may get sensible conversation!

[Hank]

David

May I suggest another interpretation.

In the article you linked, I clicked through to the article on the first case where Mr Butler was released.
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/law-and-order/7856016/Father-whose-shaken-baby-conviction-was-quashed-faces-new-access-battle.html

Judges can only reach decisions on the evidence before the court on the charge before the court. Criminal cases require proof beyond a reasonable doubt. Which is over all a good thing, but can produce strange results when we have 20/20 hindsight or the judge did not have all the information.

In the fist case Mr. Butler was charge with child abuse by “”shaken baby syndrome.” Apparently no one denies such a thing exists but there seems to be substantial controversy about it.
Wikipedia
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abusive_head_trauma
Google
http://www.bing.com/search?q=shaken+baby+syndrome&qs=SC&pq=shake+baby+sysdrome&sc=2-19&sp=1&cvid=2380BE55076047D88CEF6ED561097DE8&FORM=QBLH

The evidence for the charge was

Doctors at the hospital diagnosed bleeding on the brain, bleeding in the eye and swelling of brain tissue - the “triad” of injuries seen as indicators of a “shaken baby” who has been deliberately injured.

with no supporting evidence.

However

The baby was later transferred to St Thomas’ Hospital, in central London, where a different team of doctors said the head injury had in fact been caused at birth. She went on to make a full recovery.

And

by the time of the trial the baby had already made a full recovery – something which is rare in shaken baby cases

And from the wiki article linked above

In July 2005, the Court of Appeals in the United Kingdom heard four appeals of SBS convictions: one case was dropped, the sentence was reduced for one, and two convictions were upheld.[50] The court found that the classic triad of retinal bleeding, subdural hematoma, and acute encephalopathy are not 100% diagnostic of SBS and that clinical history is also important. In the Court's ruling, they upheld the clinical concept of SBS but dismissed one case and reduced another from murder to manslaughter.[50] In their words: "Whilst a strong pointer to NAHI [non-accidental head injury] on its own we do not think it possible to find that it must automatically and necessarily lead to a diagnosis of NAHI. All the circumstances, including the clinical picture, must be taken into account."

(This decision was after the case in question.)

I t seems possible the Lord Judge Hogg made the correct decision on the evidence before the court, which contributed to a major tragedy.

Mr. Butler should be glad that he received such a light sentence on .he second charge.

[David Duff]

Maybe so, Hank, but she ignored the statements from the girl's grandparents who warned her that 'she would have blood on her hands' one day'. She also went further and ordered social services to, in effect, cease and desist from any further investigation and she also ordered that all files on the perp were to be marked that he was completely exonerated. Thus, later, worries from the girl's school noting frequent absences and slight injuries were ignored. Yes, we can all make mistakes but these 'Cocklecarrots' have great power, earn big money and, like the rest of us, should be held to account.

[Cuffleyburgers]

Duffers - tragic though it be, and it is heart wrenching, I tend to agree with Hank. Far too often the tendency is to take children away from parents and keep them away and the social services rarely seem to achieve much good.

In a country of 60 million people some truly shit things will happen and while we should always seek to improve how things are done it could be argued that in this case possibly she made a justifiable decision. It is impossible fully to account or allow or all grades of human evil without making life impossible for the 59,999,999 innocent people who are disgusted by this despicable man's crime.

I suspect this gentleman will have a rough time in jail and I hope he lives long enough to enjoy his whole term.

[David Duff]

Sorry, Cuffers, can't agree. We pay these judges very good money - and even better pensions - and we're entitled to demand an equally good job. She might have been taken in by this man's spiel but there were warning signs that she ignored. And then she went even further by ordering the social services to keep well away. That last was a step too far.

[JK]

Well.

For That One-Eyed Bugger!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C9lz_yzrGZw

And Lord, this then, and lastly perhaps ...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h8iPUK0AGRo