I am, by and large, a fairly placid sort of a bloke. My life to date has been mostly fairly boring, even my army service was free of any danger or excitement. And yet ... and yet ... there lurks inside of me several psychological fears which I take care not to test. One, which I have mentioned before, is a fear of heights which I recognised around the age of six or seven when I tried to emulate my pals by climbing a tree. I had to be rescued from the first and lowest branch where I froze! Yes, I know, I was a member of the Parachute Regiment but the odd thing is that you get very little sense of height from a moving aircraft. Mind you, the balloon jumps were another thing!
The other fear I have which seems to have developed late in life is claustrophobia. I once travelled through the Channel Tunnel which was fine just so long as the train kept moving. If it had ever stopped for any reason midway across I would have attempted to dig my way out using my finger nails! Similarly with tube trains. Also, I am now exceedingly reluctant to enter lifts and should I ever be locked up for any reason they might have to add the charge of murder to my sheet because I would probably kill the gaoler!
All of which brings me to Major Tim Peake, the British astronaut who has just returned from six months spent inside a sort of airtight tin can in space. Setting aside the hazard of actually getting up there, to say nothing of the even more terrifying descent, I simply cannot contemplate living inside a capsule for six minutes let alone six months. Oddly enough, the risks inherent in all the ultra high tech systems needed to ping you up there and bring you down again would not worry me because, simpleton that I am, I have huge unthinking trust and faith in them which is why flying gives me no worries.
But the second they slam the door on the titchy little capsule in which you are strapped for the journey would be the signal for me to panic and vacate my bowels - not necessarily in that order! Thus, my admiration for Maj. Peake and all those astronauts is simply immense.
Sorry, sorry, I duplicated posts and then deleted the one had a couple of comments. And I haven't even had a drink - honestly!
Posted by: David Duff | Saturday, 18 June 2016 at 22:53
No drink? It's them drugs I'll bet!
Posted by: Whitewall | Saturday, 18 June 2016 at 23:06
An amusing take on your claustrophobia, Duff. I assume you would not be a happy camper on a nuclear submarine, which can stay submerged until it runs out of food (otherwise, indefinitely). Moreover, you would sorely miss having toilet paper on hand (as it were).
Posted by: TheBigHenry | Saturday, 18 June 2016 at 23:18
I have a touch of acrophobia, but I can generally venture out onto a balcony or some such.
As a child I climbed every tree, forded every mountain and jumped over every river, etc.
Not so much lately.
However, my claustrophobia knows no bounds. Luckily I live in a smallish city so I don't have to deal with vast underground car parks or even high rise car parks. Just can't go there!
A year of so ago I was with some friends in a car and he started to go up a concrete ramp into his high-rise apartment parking area and I absolutely freaked out. "Stop the car, I want to get out." I ran frantically down the ramp and kept running until I found a nice tree to recuperate under.
I went through some caves in Cuba a few years ago and managed to sit quietly but I just about had a nervous breakdown on a cable-car in Singapore many years ago.
The whole thing is weird. I'm OK with elevators!
And Henry, I have known a few fellows who have been submariners and, let me tell you, they are, each and every one of them, stark, raving mad.
Posted by: Andra | Sunday, 19 June 2016 at 07:31
You are entirely right, Henry. I once, as a young lad, went into a submarine that was on display somewhere and I only manage the tour because the damned thing was tied up to a quay and the hatches remained open. I once watched that brilliant German film "Das Boot" on the 'telly' with my finger nails buried in the fabric of my armchair!
Posted by: David Duff | Sunday, 19 June 2016 at 07:32
Er, JK, apropos Andra's final sentence, did you ever serve in subs?
Posted by: David Duff | Sunday, 19 June 2016 at 08:44
Andra, please don't confuse me with the brave submariners. My knowledge about nuclear submarines is confined (pun intended) to their nuclear power source. I am a retired nuclear physicist.
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Duff, I don't suffer from claustrophobia (though I do have a touch of acrophobia). Fortunately, I also do not suffer from bathophobia. I was once privileged to visit the control room at the bottom of an ICBM silo. The real scary part, however, was negotiating the very tall steel ladder to get to the control room from the surface. The whole time climbing down (and back up) my mantra was, "Feet -- don't fail me now!"
Posted by: TheBigHenry | Sunday, 19 June 2016 at 19:15
"Er, JK, apropos Andra's final sentence, did you ever serve in subs?"
Couple insertions David was about it - only requiring a minimal of time aboard. If you're still blogging come latish 2019 - when, supposedly it declassifies - ask me about it then.
But I guess it's okay to say, the helo rides out to the boats were "exciting."
Posted by: JK | Sunday, 19 June 2016 at 20:34
JK,
Sounds like those helo rides were blazing?
Posted by: TheBigHenry | Sunday, 19 June 2016 at 22:14
Ain't gonna fall for that Henry. Look me up on Amazon in a few years.
I'm reckoning I ain't got what Hillary gots but, nice try anyway ...
Posted by: JK | Sunday, 19 June 2016 at 23:46
Wize choice, JK. I should not have tempted you, but I was confident you would know I was kidding. Y'all be cool.
Posted by: TheBigHenry | Monday, 20 June 2016 at 00:20
Yeppers.
No feughing way I'm gonna be Spërow Agnew to Hillary Milhouse Clinton!
Posted by: JK | Monday, 20 June 2016 at 01:20