'Dim Dave' truly was, and still is, monumentally dim. Virtually every paper in the land is giving his (so-called) honours list a right good kicking. What a mixture! Tory party donors, sundry 'Remain' dimwits who carefully planned a humiliating defeat for him in the referendum, a government driver for doing his job and his wife's stylist.
Of course, he offered me a knighthood for services to blogging and true to form he had never read a page of this distinguished blog which has been constantly rude about him. I had to turn it down because, frankly, it was an earldom or nothing!
Actually, it was many, many years ago when the Beatles were given a gong that I decided that in the microscopically tiny chance that I might be offered a gong, for services to the second-hand car trade perhaps, I would turn it down because if four Scouse gits could get one for singing songs then I wanted no part of it. Er, well, excepting an earldom, of course, because the 'Memsahib' would kill me if I failed to seize that chance. Perhaps if I continue my 'nicely-nicely' praise of 'St. Theresa of May', maybe it will happen, for services to the VOTE LEAVE campaign, perhaps, after all, it was the massive Milborne Port vote 'wot dunnit and wunnit'!
David, hold your ground! An earldom or bust! Knighthoods seem to be more common these days.
Posted by: Whitewall | Monday, 01 August 2016 at 14:25
Well, I think you deserve something for supporting YMD in May 2015!
Posted by: backofanenvelope | Monday, 01 August 2016 at 15:04
Quite right, Whiters, Knighthoods are frightfully common!
Indeed, BOE, although actually I voted for Mr. Warburton MP, an excellent Brexiteer and thus rid this part of Zouth Zummerzet of an il-Lib-non-Dem. So what's not to like?
By the way, have you Kippers finished your Summer season panto, aka, your leadership election? I told you the Kippers couldn't organise a piss-up in a brewery!
Posted by: David Duff | Monday, 01 August 2016 at 15:23
"[T]his distinguished blog which has been constantly rude about him."
Careful there David, recall some readers here have put more time in than others - does for instance 'comparisons between Brown & Call Me Dave' ring a bell?
http://duffandnonsense.typepad.com/duff_nonsense/2007/10/one-of-schrodin.html
And if not JK there is BOE too!
Posted by: JK | Monday, 01 August 2016 at 15:34
Over here Scouse is generally considered charming, but of course when reading your prose, David, I imagine it in only the most posh English accent; something like Peter O'Toole's character's father's in the 1972 movie 'The Ruling Class'. Or O'Toole's after his psychiatric conversion.
Posted by: Bob | Monday, 01 August 2016 at 16:16
Happily, JK, in that 9-yearold post I wrote the following: "In the meantime, we must all watch 'Dave' carefully whilst reminding ourselves that the descriptive title, 'Dim', did not necessarily come about because of the demands of alliteration!" Pretty damn accurate, I'd say!
Bob, alas, there is not much 'posh' here at ex-Corporal Duff's site!
Posted by: David Duff | Monday, 01 August 2016 at 18:12
There are David, other posts to choose from - some before you basically learned your lessons about "giving yourself wiggle room" you'll be remembering JK's supposing, such gems as this:>
http://duffandnonsense.typepad.com/duff_nonsense/2008/09/president-mccain.html
There are, after all reasons you don't much argue the point where BOE typed (as above) "YMD"?
So which have you settled upon David, was he Coriolanus or Hamlet?
Posted by: JK | Monday, 01 August 2016 at 19:27
David,
Have you ever seen the movie? You'd probably enjoy it while exploring the depths of irony. As I recall its original release had been banned in Britain but not the US.
Posted by: Bob | Monday, 01 August 2016 at 20:02
You will have noted, JK, that in the commentary to that post I wrote the following:
"My ability to make mighty prognostications, and then take even mightier prat-falls, is legend!"
I stand by that - well, I have to!
Bob, I missed that film.
Posted by: David Duff | Monday, 01 August 2016 at 22:09
'Scuse me? I still know which little finger to hold out whilst drinking my tea, and how to cut a crust off a cucumber sammitch....
If actors can get knighthoods for contributions to the acting world, then The Beatles deserve one too. Remember how many people quote them as an inspiration (although there are many artists who would have made more of a contribution by NOT being inspired) and they will be remembered "for an age of Man and beyond".
"Queen" on the other hand.....
Posted by: Mayfly | Tuesday, 02 August 2016 at 08:48
We need two lists. Mr Duff would get a medal for delivering all those leaflets; but nothing for doing his job as a corporal. So all those civil service mandarins would still get a KCMG or whatever, but it would have (list 2) behind the initials. And Mr Farage would get a peerage I(list 1) and be put in to sort out the HoL. Fun all round.
Posted by: backofanenvelope | Tuesday, 02 August 2016 at 09:09
Cameron - really showed himself up to be a poor man's Blair, and incredibly, more hapless than Major.
Dear God.
Posted by: Cuffleyburgers | Tuesday, 02 August 2016 at 12:27
David
Hold out for the Duke of Melbourne Port.
Posted by: Hank | Tuesday, 02 August 2016 at 23:37
Better yet, David, hold out for Duke of Earl.
Posted by: TheBigHenry | Wednesday, 03 August 2016 at 03:06
Nobody gets anything until I get my damedom!
I am well overdue.
Posted by: Andra | Wednesday, 03 August 2016 at 09:26
Duke of Melbourne Port? Oh the thought of it is too much! Imagine the formalities we readers will have to use just to offer a comment.
Posted by: Whitewall | Wednesday, 03 August 2016 at 13:13
David,
Since you have so far ignored all of the fine suggestions made for a dukedom, I give you my final fine/wine offer:
Take it, sip it and like it. Or leave it and lump it.
I'm done here.
:)
Posted by: TheBigHenry | Thursday, 04 August 2016 at 00:59