And, you will not be surprised to learn, the entire thing has been nicked from the world's greatest weekly magazine, The Spectator, and it was written by the usually witty Quentin Letts and it is now clear that he is more than a tad grumpy because he has offered us all the 75 (or so) most annoying people of the year. I was tempted to add some of my own but the fact is that he seems to covered all the runners and riders. If I think of any he might have missed I will add them in the 'Comments' and I invite you to do the same.
In the spirit of Ebenezer Scrooge, here, in no particular order, are my current irritants:
• Paddy Ashdown
• Lady (Shami) Chakrabarti of Kennington
• First Minister Nicola Sturrrgeon
• Brussels grands fromages Michel Barnier, Guy Verhofstadt and Monsieur Tipsy Jean-Claude Juncker
• Three out of five Newsnight discussions
• Dance judge Len Goodman (those teeth are whistling again, Len)
• Donald Trump’s hand gestures
• Sir Philip Green
• Lady Green and that dog of hers
• Nicky Morgan
• Business Secretary Greg Clark, the cabinet’s fruity-voiced answer to Clifford the Listerine dragon
• Benedict Cumberbatch
• Caitlin Moran
• The National Secular Society
• Ukip braggart Raheem Kassam
• Diane Abbott, particularly when she closes her eyes while speaking
• Advertising man Sir Martin ‘£43 million a year’ Sorrell
• Anti-press windbag Evan Harris
• Mumsnet
• Hugh Grant
• Labour chief whip Nick Brown
• Cabinet secretary Sir Jeremy Heywood
• Telly scientist Prof Brian Cox
• Gary Lineker
• James Purnell, the former Labour culture secretary who now poses as a non-partisan BBC radio boss
• Emily Thornberry QC MP
• Political aide Rohan Silva, who ‘became too big for No. 10’ — now a ‘techpreneur’
• Cara Delevingne and her eyebrows
• Sir Richard Branson
• Politician manqué Mark Carney
• You probably won’t have heard of her and I wish I never had — Scots Nat MP Tasmina Ahmed-Sheikh
• Complete and utter lawyer Charlie Falconer
• BBC greenhouse gasbag Roger Harrabin
• Susie Orbach
• Sir Elton John and David Furnish
• Know-all Stephen Hawking
• Dog-throttling Europhile Michael Heseltine
• The Institute for Government
• Nick Clegg
• Jamie Oliver
• Sandi Toksvig
• Jimmy Carr’s laugh
• The Archers Omnibus theme tune
• Owen Smith MP
• Director of Public Prosecutions Alison Saunders
• The RSPCA
• Eagle twins Angela and Maria
• Soon-to-depart US ambassador Matthew Barzun
• Editorial columns in the Church Times
• Jonathan Ross
• Simon bloody Schama
• Civil Service shop steward Lord (Gus) O’Donnell
• Facebook’s British boss Lady Mendelsohn, who gave a wonderfully bad speech at the CBI conference
• Brian May
• ‘Train managers’, ‘next station stops’ and ‘arriving into’
• Roland Rudd
• Architect Richard Rogers
• Gender-bending on stage
• Poet Laureate Carol Ann Duffy
• Lady Hale, particularly when she dresses up in her Supreme Court robes and that squashed hat
• ‘Evidence-based’
• Celery
• Boaty McBoatface
• Screeny McScreenface on Robert Peston’s Sunday ITV show
• Rolls-Royce boss Warren East
• The words ‘“Thought for the Day” is presented by John Bell of the Iona Community’
• David Baddiel’s beardlet
• Banksy
• The University access czar, Prof Les Ebdon
• Tim Farron
• Alex Salmond
• Self-regarding Heidi Allen MP
• HRH Duchess of York
• Gaz and Leccy
• Dominic Grieve
• Mariella Frostbite
• Peter Bone MP’s references to ‘Mrs Bone’
• Sir Anish Kapoor, that minor talent chosen as one of the ‘British cultural icons’ for the new passport
• Nepotiste Victoria Coren Mitchell
• Philip Hammond MP
• Russia apologist Sir Edward Leigh MP
• People who pop Strepsils out of their foil packets during plays
• Post-match interviews with football managers
• Janet Street-Porter CBE
• Andrew Tyrie’s daily pronouncements as chairman of the Treasury select committee
• Dame Helen Ghosh of the National Trust
• Statistics bore Jonathan Portes
• Alan Milburn and his Social Mobility Commission
• Torsten Bell of the Resolution Foundation
• Squeaker Bercow
• Sir Keir Starmer QC MP
• Sir John Major
• Zzzzzzadie Smith
Well, I've only heard of about 3 of them so they don't bother me in the least.
Posted by: Andra | Thursday, 08 December 2016 at 18:52
It's hard to suggest any more, because reviewing the list to check if your favourite pet hates have been omitted is quite distressing.
But where is that supernaturally nasty bastard Blair? And Ed Balls? And what about Stephen Fry? He's not dead yet! And Chuka Umunna. And Polly Toynbee. And that relentlessly stupid woman who edits the Guardian now and whose name I have forgotten. And Bob Geldof. And Little Georgie Monbiot. And that iritating statistician twat who introduces "More or Less" on Radio 4. And Sean Rafferty, whose Radio 3 teatime programme ruins excellent music by interlarding it with sickly know-nothing Oirishry and fey ignorance.
Thanks. I feel better now.
Posted by: Whyaxye | Thursday, 08 December 2016 at 19:02
But, Andra, in the spirit of the Anglosphere, you are allowed to add the odd Aussie.
That's the spirit, 'W', and I'm glad you feel better already!
Posted by: David Duff | Thursday, 08 December 2016 at 19:18
"odd Aussie"...they exist? Surely not.
Stephen Fry is a good addition there 'W'. He is frequently inside our tvs over here.
Posted by: Whitewall | Thursday, 08 December 2016 at 19:38
Blimey, it isn't only the sheer size of the list, but the substantial number of missing entries. If we are voting I'll nominate Stephen Fry too. Is Len McCluskey in there? Put him in twice. Oh and dog owners who allow their mutts to crap on the pavement and...
Posted by: Uncle Mort | Thursday, 08 December 2016 at 19:55
I'm in two minds about Shami Chackrabarti. I may disagree with her political posturing, but I was fortunate enough to see her from behind. Oh, that arse! Now I know why her nickname is 'shakeyabooty'.
Posted by: Penseivat | Thursday, 08 December 2016 at 20:02
Anybody who displays a three day stubble which is never allowed to get any longer.
Posted by: FrankC | Thursday, 08 December 2016 at 21:10
"Three out of five Newsnight discussions" aren't people; they're discussions. And who the hell is Celery?
Posted by: TheBigHenry | Thursday, 08 December 2016 at 22:39
What asbout- Everyone under the age or 65.
Posted by: john malpas | Thursday, 08 December 2016 at 23:43
Well, that's a bit extreme. After all, my wife, my sons, and my granddaughters are all under the age of 65, as well as many of our present company here.
Posted by: TheBigHenry | Friday, 09 December 2016 at 00:32
I am amazed TBH! There are Duff commenters under 65?
Posted by: Backofanenvelope | Friday, 09 December 2016 at 06:56
Hillary Clinton
Donald Trump
Plus the Big Henry's list. I know that puts Hillary Clinton on there twice but she deserves it.
Posted by: Frank | Friday, 09 December 2016 at 07:48
Not "Boaty McBoatface"!!! I love "Boaty McBoatface"!
You didn't mention any advert involving singing (Sainsbury's, Smyth's Toystore, which needs to be destroyed anyway for not knowing how to spell Smith's.....at least it's not spelt with two F's.....and the "Go Compare" advert, which makes me want AI to be programmed to mute instantly on command).
John Malpass (I am YEARS under 65, thank you)
SJW's
Posted by: Mayfly | Friday, 09 December 2016 at 08:56
Ah, I thought you had nicked the entire IDEA from the Spectator, not his actual list! Surely, you would want Richard Dawkins on there?
A personal one for me would be Comhcinc who has been lovingly labelled by my favourite word, a complete F***tard.
Posted by: Mayfly | Friday, 09 December 2016 at 08:58
David, I met Paddy Pantsdown in the London Tube sometime back. He can talk! However he seemed an amiable bloke for an ex Royal Marine. Your exhaustive list I agree with especially Shami the Sham, Abbot, Salmond and Sturgeon.
Posted by: jimmy glesga | Friday, 09 December 2016 at 10:15
No mention of Dave Cameron and Georgie Osborne?
"By thine forgetfulness shall I know thee" - you'll be begging for those two to be back in charge before long.
Here's a tasty little quote from Dave's first post-PM speech that sums up why quite nicely: -
“The simple truth is this; if we don’t address the problem of those who are economically left behind, we open up our politics to the parties of the extreme left. And if we don’t address the concerns about the pace of cultural change, we open up our politics to the parties of the extreme right.”
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2016/12/09/david-cameron-brexit-donald-trump-does-not-regret-calling-referendum/
Welcome to the new dark age.
SoD
Posted by: Loz | Friday, 09 December 2016 at 11:31
boae,
I am guessing SoD is under the age of 65 (unless David is a centenarian).
Posted by: TheBigHenry | Friday, 09 December 2016 at 16:51
Frequently, Henry, SoD appears to be under the age of ten!
Posted by: David Duff | Friday, 09 December 2016 at 16:55