The Sunday Rumble: 18.12.16

That creepy coincidence thing all over again:   Lying in bed this morning I heard on the news that some distinguished quack called Heimlich had died.  Apparently he had invented something which subsequently was named after him as 'the Heimlich manoeuvre'.  Still being half asleep I assumed it was some sort of devilish clever tank manoeuvre invented by a German general in WWII!  Later, as I woke up properly I realised that Heimlich was actually a doctor and the 'manoeuvre' referred to was a means by which people choking to death could be saved.  Anyway, an hour later, sitting here before my computer composing the breathless prose that delights you all - and I heard that! - I took a swig of tea which instantly went down the wrong hole.  Cue: Duff flailing around desperately, crashing into the furniture whilst attempting to get some air into my lungs without drowning in tea.  Damn, how I wished I knew that Heimlich manoeuvre!

 

A bit of seasonal Shakespeare:   I was reminded of this yesterday and also it reminded me that I used to print the occasional poem on this blog for your delight and edification - sorry, did you say something? Anyway, as this one is sort of seasonal being wintery and keeps referring to "green holly" I thought it appropriate.  Also, as it contains some bitter recriminations concerning human nature it will appeal to all you Christmas grumps who can't wait for the season of goodwill to be over!

Blow, blow, thou winter wind,

   Thou art not so unkind

      As man’s ingratitude;

   Thy tooth is not so keen,

Because thou art not seen,

      Although thy breath be rude.

Heigh-ho! sing, heigh-ho! unto the green holly:

Most friendship is feigning, most loving mere folly:

   Then, heigh-ho, the holly!

      This life is most jolly.

 

   Freeze, freeze, thou bitter sky,

   That dost not bite so nigh

      As benefits forgot:

   Though thou the waters warp,

      Thy sting is not so sharp

      As friend remembered not.

Heigh-ho! sing, heigh-ho! unto the green holly...

 

 

   The Trump tsunami:   They should have cancelled Christmas in the Chanceries of the world and kept all those policy wonks at their desks trying to figure out how the world will change under President Trump.  I still don't think there is a full - or even slight - realisation of the way the world will move for all of us.  Ted Belman at The American Thinker provides a few clues and if even half of them come to pass then it will be exceedingly gulp-inducive!  NATO could virtually disappear because it costs the USA a fortune and it is virtually useless for combatting terrorism which Trump sees as the main threat.  Chinese arrogance is likely to suffer some bruises, in fact, it has already begun with Trump's telephone chat with the Taiwanese president.  'Vlad the Impaler' could become Donald's (and thus America's) NBF - New Best Friend.  The Palestinians need to get real because Trump is hacked off with the whole Israeli/Palestinian imbroglio and he believes, apparently, that the formerly soft, neutral line followed by Obama merely encouraged Palestinian intransigence.  Amongst the first things he might do is recognise Jerusalem as the capital of Israel by moving the American embassy there.  There is more, according to Mr. Belman so read his article and then start digging in! 

 

 

GDDS - the latest affliction on Mankind:   Er, well, to be exact, not

exactly the whole of Mankind just the dimwits who support the Democrat

party because this serious affliction is Galloping Democrat Dysfunctional

Syndrome in which the sufferers (who sniggered?) thrash around

helplessly blaming everyone and their uncles for Hillary's defeat.

Apparently, 'it woz the Russians wot dunnit', or if not them, then that 'dirty

rat' who runs the FBI, or, of course, it was the 'meedja', er, even if roughly

90% of them were Dem sympathisers.  Anyway, someone is to blame and,

of course, the fact that the Dem dimwits picked the most dislikeable

candidate they could find, a stupid, corrupt woman whose ego was only

eclipsed by her sense of entitlement had no effect on the outcome!

 

 

Shakespearean dribble:   According to the TLS, some cove has

written a book entitled Shakespeare and Economic Theory - yeeeeeees,

quite!  Well, it's obvious even from a slight knowledge of the scribbler's life

that money loomed large even from his childhood when dear old Dad was

wont to skim by bankruptcy with barely a shilling to spare.  But "economic

theory"?  Can't say I have ever come across that in the plays I have

studied.  Apparently, the author is much taken with Karl Marx - why am I

not surprised? - who was a great fan of 'our Will' thus proving that you can

fill a man with wisdom and he will still remain a fool!

 

 

Fancy a really good headache?   Oh, go on, give it a try!  Just click on

to an article written by Anthony Sudbery, a terrific maths/physics swot

who in no time at all will whisk you off to a land filled with cats which are

both dead and alive at the same time - such fun!  Yes, it's that dreaded

quantum theory lark again but somehow, even though I barely understand

it, it still has the power to fascinate.

 

 

'Brahms and Liszt?'  Not half!   For the benefit of my foreign

readers, the first half of my sub-title is taken from Cockney rhyming slang

- Brahms and Liszt = pissed!  See, you always learn something new here a

D&N, and yes, I'll have a large one, thank you for offering!  Perhaps the

main lesson to be learned from Damian Thompson's fascinating article in

The Spectator is not so much "Don't put your daughter on the stage, Mrs.

Worthington" as don't ever allow your daughter to marry a musician.  And

I don't just mean those hairy rock 'n' rollers, I mean those composers of

frightfully posh classical music.  The cockneys (or more likely some

knowledgeable music swot) had it dead right with Brahms and Liszt, both

of whom were Olympic-standard boozers.  So too were Handel, Mozart,

Beethoven, Schubert, Schumann, Liszt, Brahms, Mussorgsky, Tchaikovsky

and Sibelius.  Not that all classical composers were boozers, Berlioz and

Wagner preferred opium!

 

 

No more rumbles today

 

 

  But don't miss tomorrow's Funnies - there are some corkers!

 

 

 

 

Comments

[Timbo]

Not sure that the Heimlich thingy can be done on oneself. I once had a red hot potato chip stuck in my throat during a business dinner. Luckily one of my colleagues knew what to do and promptly broke one of my ribs applying the technique. Got the chip out, mind you.

Good times.

[Backofanenvelope]

I see on diplomad's growing blogroll is one for Bob.

[backofanenvelope]

Sorry - its on http://woodstermangotwood.blogspot.co.uk/

[Whitewall]

I notice this sensitive Welsh actor is unnerved by the "revolting peasants" in Britain and America. He is coming home to become an activist against "populism", thereby reminding everybody why populism, not fascism, is on the rise.

[Whitewall]

BOE, I recognize so many people on that blog! Should I worry?

[Whitewall]

Timbo, it was surely a comfort to know you had many more unbroken ribs after the event?

[Bob]

Researching the "about" shows 'The American Thinker' is written by hacks with little knowledge of how interesting things are likely to get.

[Whitewall]

Sensitive actor being Michael Sheen...the link does help I know.
http://www.radiotimes.com/news/2016-12-18/michael-sheen-sets-the-record-straight-on-reports-he-will-quit-acting-for-political-activism

[David Duff]

"'The American Thinker' is written by hacks with little knowledge"

Bit like the owner of this blog, Bob!

[Mayfly]

I had heard that the Heimlich manoeuvre had in fact been removed from general first aid, simply because if you do not perform it correctly, you can usually damage someone's spleen/ribs/abdomen in some way. If you remember to jerk backwards and then upwards in an short....well, jerky movement, you're fine. Sitting someone down and slapping them on the back is rather safer however, and hopefully will work first time around.

Oddly, it is in fact possible to perform the Heimlich on yourself, whereas slapping yourself on your back (no matter how much you practise, David) is harder.