That creepy coincidence thing all over again: Lying in bed this morning I heard on the news that some distinguished quack called Heimlich had died. Apparently he had invented something which subsequently was named after him as 'the Heimlich manoeuvre'. Still being half asleep I assumed it was some sort of devilish clever tank manoeuvre invented by a German general in WWII! Later, as I woke up properly I realised that Heimlich was actually a doctor and the 'manoeuvre' referred to was a means by which people choking to death could be saved. Anyway, an hour later, sitting here before my computer composing the breathless prose that delights you all - and I heard that! - I took a swig of tea which instantly went down the wrong hole. Cue: Duff flailing around desperately, crashing into the furniture whilst attempting to get some air into my lungs without drowning in tea. Damn, how I wished I knew that Heimlich manoeuvre!
A bit of seasonal Shakespeare: I was reminded of this yesterday and also it reminded me that I used to print the occasional poem on this blog for your delight and edification - sorry, did you say something? Anyway, as this one is sort of seasonal being wintery and keeps referring to "green holly" I thought it appropriate. Also, as it contains some bitter recriminations concerning human nature it will appeal to all you Christmas grumps who can't wait for the season of goodwill to be over!
Blow, blow, thou winter wind,
Thou art not so unkind
As man’s ingratitude;
Thy tooth is not so keen,
Because thou art not seen,
Although thy breath be rude.
Heigh-ho! sing, heigh-ho! unto the green holly:
Most friendship is feigning, most loving mere folly:
Then, heigh-ho, the holly!
This life is most jolly.
Freeze, freeze, thou bitter sky,
That dost not bite so nigh
As benefits forgot:
Though thou the waters warp,
Thy sting is not so sharp
As friend remembered not.
Heigh-ho! sing, heigh-ho! unto the green holly...
The Trump tsunami: They should have cancelled Christmas in the Chanceries of the world and kept all those policy wonks at their desks trying to figure out how the world will change under President Trump. I still don't think there is a full - or even slight - realisation of the way the world will move for all of us. Ted Belman at The American Thinker provides a few clues and if even half of them come to pass then it will be exceedingly gulp-inducive! NATO could virtually disappear because it costs the USA a fortune and it is virtually useless for combatting terrorism which Trump sees as the main threat. Chinese arrogance is likely to suffer some bruises, in fact, it has already begun with Trump's telephone chat with the Taiwanese president. 'Vlad the Impaler' could become Donald's (and thus America's) NBF - New Best Friend. The Palestinians need to get real because Trump is hacked off with the whole Israeli/Palestinian imbroglio and he believes, apparently, that the formerly soft, neutral line followed by Obama merely encouraged Palestinian intransigence. Amongst the first things he might do is recognise Jerusalem as the capital of Israel by moving the American embassy there. There is more, according to Mr. Belman so read his article and then start digging in!
GDDS - the latest affliction on Mankind: Er, well, to be exact, not
exactly the whole of Mankind just the dimwits who support the Democrat
party because this serious affliction is Galloping Democrat Dysfunctional
Syndrome in which the sufferers (who sniggered?) thrash around
helplessly blaming everyone and their uncles for Hillary's defeat.
Apparently, 'it woz the Russians wot dunnit', or if not them, then that 'dirty
rat' who runs the FBI, or, of course, it was the 'meedja', er, even if roughly
90% of them were Dem sympathisers. Anyway, someone is to blame and,
of course, the fact that the Dem dimwits picked the most dislikeable
candidate they could find, a stupid, corrupt woman whose ego was only
eclipsed by her sense of entitlement had no effect on the outcome!
written a book entitled Shakespeare and Economic Theory - yeeeeeees,
quite! Well, it's obvious even from a slight knowledge of the scribbler's life
that money loomed large even from his childhood when dear old Dad was
wont to skim by bankruptcy with barely a shilling to spare. But "economic
theory"? Can't say I have ever come across that in the plays I have
studied. Apparently, the author is much taken with Karl Marx - why am I
not surprised? - who was a great fan of 'our Will' thus proving that you can
fill a man with wisdom and he will still remain a fool!
Fancy a really good headache? Oh, go on, give it a try! Just click on
who in no time at all will whisk you off to a land filled with cats which are
both dead and alive at the same time - such fun! Yes, it's that dreaded
quantum theory lark again but somehow, even though I barely understand
it, it still has the power to fascinate.
'Brahms and Liszt?' Not half! For the benefit of my foreign
readers, the first half of my sub-title is taken from Cockney rhyming slang
- Brahms and Liszt = pissed! See, you always learn something new here a
D&N, and yes, I'll have a large one, thank you for offering! Perhaps the
The Spectator is not so much "Don't put your daughter on the stage, Mrs.
Worthington" as don't ever allow your daughter to marry a musician. And
I don't just mean those hairy rock 'n' rollers, I mean those composers of
frightfully posh classical music. The cockneys (or more likely some
knowledgeable music swot) had it dead right with Brahms and Liszt, both
of whom were Olympic-standard boozers. So too were Handel, Mozart,
Beethoven, Schubert, Schumann, Liszt, Brahms, Mussorgsky, Tchaikovsky
and Sibelius. Not that all classical composers were boozers, Berlioz and
Wagner preferred opium!
No more rumbles today
But don't miss tomorrow's Funnies - there are some corkers!
Not sure that the Heimlich thingy can be done on oneself. I once had a red hot potato chip stuck in my throat during a business dinner. Luckily one of my colleagues knew what to do and promptly broke one of my ribs applying the technique. Got the chip out, mind you.
Good times.
Posted by: Timbo | Sunday, 18 December 2016 at 11:45
I see on diplomad's growing blogroll is one for Bob.
Posted by: Backofanenvelope | Sunday, 18 December 2016 at 13:15
Sorry - its on http://woodstermangotwood.blogspot.co.uk/
Posted by: backofanenvelope | Sunday, 18 December 2016 at 13:52
I notice this sensitive Welsh actor is unnerved by the "revolting peasants" in Britain and America. He is coming home to become an activist against "populism", thereby reminding everybody why populism, not fascism, is on the rise.
Posted by: Whitewall | Sunday, 18 December 2016 at 13:55
BOE, I recognize so many people on that blog! Should I worry?
Posted by: Whitewall | Sunday, 18 December 2016 at 14:04
Timbo, it was surely a comfort to know you had many more unbroken ribs after the event?
Posted by: Whitewall | Sunday, 18 December 2016 at 14:14
Researching the "about" shows 'The American Thinker' is written by hacks with little knowledge of how interesting things are likely to get.
Posted by: Bob | Sunday, 18 December 2016 at 14:41
Sensitive actor being Michael Sheen...the link does help I know.
http://www.radiotimes.com/news/2016-12-18/michael-sheen-sets-the-record-straight-on-reports-he-will-quit-acting-for-political-activism
Posted by: Whitewall | Sunday, 18 December 2016 at 15:16
"'The American Thinker' is written by hacks with little knowledge"
Bit like the owner of this blog, Bob!
Posted by: David Duff | Sunday, 18 December 2016 at 16:26
I had heard that the Heimlich manoeuvre had in fact been removed from general first aid, simply because if you do not perform it correctly, you can usually damage someone's spleen/ribs/abdomen in some way. If you remember to jerk backwards and then upwards in an short....well, jerky movement, you're fine. Sitting someone down and slapping them on the back is rather safer however, and hopefully will work first time around.
Oddly, it is in fact possible to perform the Heimlich on yourself, whereas slapping yourself on your back (no matter how much you practise, David) is harder.
Posted by: Mayfly | Monday, 19 December 2016 at 13:48