Damn, it makes yer prard to be British!

According to an absolutely impeccable source, er, 'Pornhub', actually, we Brits have made it to second place in the world rankings (and yes, I did spell that correctly!) of porn-viewers, according to The Daily Mail.  Perhaps that's why so many of us look constantly knackered all the time, I mean, you only have to sit on a train for five minutes and everyone is dozing off.  Apparently, it was only the Americans who stopped us from reaching the coveted top spot - yeeeeeeeees, quite!

Statistics released by Pornhub show that - while we are still some way behind America when it comes to pleasuring ourselves - we watched more porn videos than any other country. 

Canada came in third place, followed by India, Japan, France and Germany respectively, as a staggering 92 billion videos were watched around the planet.

Can't say I'm too surprised at the 'Canucks', after all, there's bugger all to do up there in those frozen wastes but India did rather better than I would have expected given that I thought they spent, so to speak, most of the energies enjoying the real thing which is why they have a population of several zillions!

And as for to the length of each individual session of 'me time', the British stuck around longer per visit than any other European country, spending an average of 9 minutes and 40 seconds on each Pornhub visit. 

This is an almost entire minute longer than our efficient German counterparts and double the time spent on the site by the quickest nation, Cuba, who get their business done in an average of 4 minutes and 57 seconds.

There you are, you see, British self-control at its very best - well done, chaps, I'd like to shake you all by the hand, er, but I see you're otherwise occupied . . . !

 

 

Comments

[Whitewall]

Ambidexterity is the key there David for a proper hand shake! I think.

[David Duff]

Yes, perhaps I should have been a Freemason!

[Whyaxye]

The Cubans' shorter time could have been due to their hot-blooded Latin temperament, but was probably due to their network or power supply failing. Let's hope it wasn't at a critical moment.

[Bob]

"Never give up on something that you can't go a day without thinking about." - Winston Churchill

[David Duff]

Bob, that's why I blog virtually everyday. Yes, sad, isn't it?

[TheBigHenry]

This post, David, stimulates memories of so many wisecracks, it's difficult to pick just one climactic example. But for the sake of Cuban brevity, I'll go with this one

• Erica Jong ("Fear of Flying"), in response to a question about Philip Roth ("Portnoy's Complaint"), was quoted as saying, "I would like to meet him, but I wouldn't want to shake his hand."

[Bob]

David, since I usually read your stuff I will decline to agree. Wait - are you trying to change the subject?

[TheBigHenry]

Bob,

While we are on one of David's playful topics, allow me to segue to a serious question for your consideration.

Just off the top of my head, here are some of the "people" (I use the term loosely in some of these examples) who have expressed vociferously their hatred and/or contempt for Mr. Trump:

• That woman in Texas who videoed the episode in which she forced her seven-year-old son out of the house into the night because he chose Trump in his class mock election.


• Those black "kids" in Chicago who kidnapped a white youth (with emotional/psychological problems) and tortured him because they hate Trump as well as all other white people.


• Those progressive liberals who tried several different ploys to delegitimize Mr. Trump's election, via far-fetched perceived loopholes in the Constitution.


• Paul Krugman who asserted that Mr. Trump's election means the United States has become "America-stan".


• Cher, along with many other Hollywood "royalty", who vowed to escape from a country that had the unmitigated gall to thwart their choice for president.

All these people and scores of others like them, be they: white, black, yellow, red or green (the latter two comprising the official state question of New Mexico); Christian, Jew, Muslim, or atheist; none of them, some of them, or all of them; I repeat, all these people are idiots.

You, Bob, are a smart guy. Why would you want to associate yourself with such a motley crew?

[Bob]

TBH,

You appear to have fallen for a line of political salesmanship. As I've noted here before, I have a minimal political philosophy but am not an ideologue. I have no close ties whatsoever to the people you mention above. If you're a retired physicist I would assume you're also a smart guy. Why would you believe that anyone who doesn't follow popular rightist orthodoxy must be a "deplorable"?

There's a difference between the attitudes associated with the left and right and liberal and conservative political philosophy. Attitudes are the products of innate character and personal experience. David will scoff "psychobabble" if I go into detail here. If you're interested find some material on political psychology and become familiar with the concepts.

[TheBigHenry]

OK, Bob. I tried to have an honest chat with you about a common sense issue. And after 16.5 hours of contemplation, all you can respond with are snide remarks about my being a salesman and my presumed intelligence, along with some psychobabble that you are not an ideologue (as if I am one).

My bad.

[Bob]

TBH,

I realize you might be gaming me but will proceed, for now, on the assumption you're being straightforward. I was also trying to have an honest chat. I didn't contemplate for 16.5 hours, though. I usually only check this site 2 or 3 times a day when I check it at all. Read carefully: I did not call you a salesman. To quote myself, "You appear to have fallen for a line of political salesmanship." Note the word "appear". I try hard not to make assumptions. I will also have to insist I'm not an ideologue and am surprised you think I implied you are one. I did not.

I'll admit to doing a bit of tweaking here, but I do try to remain mostly respectful. The commenters here generally seem intelligent to me, as does David. I know better than that political leanings have anything to do with intelligence. If you're determined to think the worst of me the only constructive thing I can do is question why.

[TheBigHenry]

Bob,

I appreciate your response, which does appear to be sincere -- but I am always reminded of that famous cartoon captioned, "On the internet, nobody knows you're a dog".

Anyway, I broached this chat because I truly dislike engaging in sport-arguing, especially in a very congenial venue such as D&N. I am not determined to think the worst of you; I wouldn't have tried chatting with you if I did.

Best, TBH

[David Duff]

Gentlemen, here at D&N we are not averse to a bit of blood on the floor although too much for too long can be a bit boring!

[Bob]

TBH,

Alright, let's go slower then. Why would you think I'm anything like a kidnapper or like Cher? To me the logic seems to be:

Anyone who is not a rightist is an extreme leftist.
All extreme leftists are equivalent in all ways.

David,

Considering your attitude on Carpenter's blog, at least in the past, I'd expect you to love some blood on the floor.

[David Duff]

Bob, well the odd splash here or there, er, provided it's not mine!

[TheBigHenry]

Bob,

I guess online chatting, especially when it concerns differences in political viewpoints, can easily be misconstrued. I am sure that it is at least partially due to the sort of nuance that is provided by facial expressions and other "body English" cues that aren't available in text messaging.

I listed off the top of my head a number of examples of people who have demonstrated an unreasonable hatred for Mr. Trump. It seemed to me that you have expressed antipathy towards Trump that I think is not warranted based on his vulgar comment he made a decade ago.

I do not think that you resemble the examples I listed in any way other than, what I believe to be unreasonable hostility toward Trump.

David,

I don't think that Bob and I are about to get into a knife fight at this point. Bob knows that if he challenged me to a knife fight I would bring a gun or possibly a small nuke.

P.S.: I took a long time to respond because I was playing bridge at the local club all afternoon.

[Loz]

I missed this thread, classic D&N!

- Pick a fight out of nothing
- Deny you picked a fight out of nothing
- Open a bottle of Rebel Yell (it's past midnight and the Mrs has a headache)
- Claim your question was reasonable
- Down a glass of Reb while mulling your defence at the sheer unreasonableness of your question ready for the incoming barrage
- Get ruffled by the incoming barrage
- Tell SoD to fuck off for whinging about Brexit
- Down a glass of Reb
- Up the ante by leaving a troll-grade rattler of a comment, laced with typos and vitriol
- Down a glass of Reb
- Hop into bed with a smile on your face, pleased at your resonant prose and well-rounded rhetoric
- Tweak the Mrs' tail feather
- Receive a sleepy, grumpy "Fuck off, I've still got a headache"
- Ruminate to sleep on the similarity of your sex life and D&N narratives
- Wake up with a mild zinger, a mild feeling of guilt, and sure knowledge "ye shall be forgiven thine sins"

SoD

[Bob]

TBH,

I don't respect Trump but that's different from hating him. There's no point whatsoever in my investing any emotion in him at all. I'll even write something in praise: He probably has the best political instincts of any of the presidential candidates of 2016.

I suspect, however, that he is woefully ignorant about policy, civics, and history. He also has personal characteristics that probably won't serve him well in the job and won't wear well with the American public. The indications so far are that he aspires to be an oligarch and doesn't care enough about the welfare of his voters to study how his decisions will affect them. But we shall see.

[TheBigHenry]

SoD,

It is difficult to tell whom you are addressing in your flight of fancy, but there is no denying its entertainment value.

In any case, I think my chat with Bob, though it initially appeared to be a fight, succeeded in establishing what I would hope to be a mutual understanding between two of the loyal denizens of D&N. I think even you can agree that that is a good thing.

BTW, my Mrs has never had a headache, though I have been a lifelong sufferer of migraines. Sigh.

[WoTBH]

Umm ... Hi, SoD!

It's WoTBH here or, as you would have it:

- the sleepy, grumpy Mrs
- who is uninterested in sex
- and suffers from chronic headache
- or, suffers from the quiet desperation of an unhappy marriage
- and so, humiliates her husband with excuses for avoiding intimacy

Congratulations! You have managed to malign me on a public forum, though I have never before made a comment on this forum or engaged with you (positively or negatively) in any way. Maybe that's why you feel you can resort to misogyny and cliche in your caricature of me, since you have no idea who I am. Nevertheless, I would ask you to keep your speculations about my personality, as well as my intimate relations with my partner, to yourself.