A severe 'dose of the domestics' yesterday, in which I had to take an elderly - yes, even older than me and I feel a hundred these days! - and batty lady on several visits. First, I had to take her to a clinic to be seen by a 'psycho-babbler' - and yes, you know what I think about them! - because she is convinced 'people' are inhabiting her home! So we wasted an hour whilst he elicited all the facts that I could have given him in five minutes, and then he gave her some pills, and that was that!
Then I took her to a shoe shop to buy her some shoes with a Velcro strap rather than laces which she has difficulty tying. Well, chaps, you know what it's like going to such shops with any lady, let alone an exceedingly elderly and slightly batty one! And, of course, she then decided she wanted a new handbag and some slippers, too. Several lifetimes later we emerged and then I had to find a pharmacist to supply the pills that she had been prescribed. By now it was way past my mid-morning, strong, black coffee-shot moment without which I begin to resemble Jack Nicholson in that film where he turns into a murderous nutter! But I decided to press on and get it all over as quickly as possible.
Next I had to take her to a supermarket where she wandered with her trolley up and down and across and then up and down again bumping into other people's trolleys and the odd 'lickle kiddie-winkie' - so she's not all bad! - whilst she tried to remember what she wanted! Then, finally, I took her home and she spent what seemed like the rest of my life checking that none of 'the little people' were around. And all the time, I mean without respite, she kept up a non-stop prattle about absolutely bugger all whilst every nerve in my body was screaming for a strong, black coffee.
No, thank you for asking, I did not kill her which I trust the good Lord above will take into consideration when I approach the pearly gates! And the reason I did not kill her was that beneath all her non-stop inanities she is a good person - dammit! Anyway, by the time I returned home there were flecks of foam around my lips and steam emitting from my ears, so it was a pity really that the 'Memsahib' had had a bad day, too, with her back and pelvis bones aching like mad, mostly because she had tried to do too much which I had told her not to do! I went to bed early!
And today 'SoD' is visiting and if he so much as mentions Brexit - there will be blood!
David I feel your pain! Been there done that many times. Those "people" in the old lady's home can sometimes be called family members, though it would be a shame one of them couldn't do the "domestic duty" instead of calling on your ever cheerful services. Well done anyway and be sure the Gate Keeper will have a plus mark to go with the other plus mark on your score card.
Posted by: Whitewall | Friday, 24 February 2017 at 13:32
May the Lord bless you! I can only hope I will have someone like you in my dotage. The spawn of satan I gave birth to will probably move away. Either that or I will!
Posted by: missred | Friday, 24 February 2017 at 17:02
missred, my goal in my later years is to be a burden to Somebody!
Posted by: Whitewall | Friday, 24 February 2017 at 17:37
That, Witers, is exactly what I keep telling 'SoD', I'm determined to be a burden!
Posted by: David Duff | Friday, 24 February 2017 at 17:55
As we say in our clan (AussieD will back me on this), "Oy vey." I have also been there and done that with my poor old Dad, now more than a decade ago.
One of his peculiarities had to do with buying shoes. According to my Dad, when he was in his late 80's, the only place a sensible man can buy shoes is at Walmart, a place that I refuse to go to unless my life depends on it. It's instant migraine I tell ya.
Posted by: TheBigHenry | Friday, 24 February 2017 at 23:59