'Strewth, yet another of those creepy co-incidence-thingies! Only yesterday (see below) I was busy offering sacrifices to the Gods for arranging that wonderful and critically crucial strip of water that keeps us, just, separate from mainland Europe. Then today, I read in The Mail, that the first Brexit began 450,000 years ago. It then took a few hundred thousand years more for the job to be completed - well, it always takes ages negotiating with those bloody Eurocrats! - but eventually the job was done.
Now, whilst I set about finding some vestal virgins - never easy in modern Britain - to sacrifice to the Gods by way of gratitude, the rest of you can repeat after me:
This royal throne of kings, this scepter'd isle,
This earth of majesty, this seat of Mars,
This other Eden, demi-paradise,
This fortress built by Nature for herself
Against infection and the hand of war,
This happy breed of men, this little world,
This precious stone set in the silver sea,
Which serves it in the office of a wall,
Or as a moat defensive to a house,
Against the envy of less happier lands,
This blessed plot, this earth, this realm, this England,
This nurse, this teeming womb of royal kings,
Fear'd by their breed and famous by their birth,
Renowned for their deeds as far from home,
For Christian service and true chivalry,
As is the sepulchre in stubborn Jewry,
Of the world's ransom, blessed Mary's Son,
This land of such dear souls, this dear, dear land.
I like it! A fine start to the day. Those virgins may have wandered over to Wales by the way.
Posted by: Whitewall | Wednesday, 05 April 2017 at 12:05
Oh God, well in that case, they can stay there, never stop talking, the Welsh!
Posted by: David Duff | Wednesday, 05 April 2017 at 12:19
It were "gerbil worming" what done it. I wonder if they had a contemporary Al Gore in those days.
Posted by: AussieD | Wednesday, 05 April 2017 at 12:34
The Romans mostly sacrificed Vestal Virgins in time of war, like after the defeat at Cannae. Are things really THAT bad, yet?
Posted by: Michael F Adams | Wednesday, 05 April 2017 at 12:43
AussieD, not possible...in those days there was not yet a Mount Olympus.
Posted by: Whitewall | Wednesday, 05 April 2017 at 12:43
I assume that by "stubborn Jewry" Big Bill was referring to a "tight necklace" which gives its wearer a stiff neck?
Posted by: TheBigHenry | Wednesday, 05 April 2017 at 16:49
No, Henry, as you know perfectly well, it refers to those stubborn Jews who consistently refuse to accept Christianity even when it's free on offer! Honestly, there's no pleasing some people!
Posted by: David Duff | Wednesday, 05 April 2017 at 20:28
I guess, David, it's why God called Jewelry the stiff-necked people. I guess you didn't get my pun either.
And here I labored mightily to please/entertain y'all. Tough audience!
Posted by: TheBigHenry | Wednesday, 05 April 2017 at 21:28
David,
Regrettably, you missed out what is currently the most topical, and depressing part of John of Gaunt's speech. Allow me to make up for that omission...
"Like to a tenement or pelting farm:
England, bound in with the triumphant sea
Whose rocky shore beats back the envious siege
Of watery Neptune, is now bound in with shame,
With inky blots and rotten parchment bonds:
That England, that was wont to conquer others,
Hath made a shameful conquest of itself.
Ah, would the scandal vanish with my life,
How happy then were my ensuing death!"
Posted by: Richard | Monday, 10 April 2017 at 13:03
Richard, well, we certainly were a sort of "tenement or pelting farm" but happily, following the Brexit vote, we are now on the way back to independence. However, I sincerely hope we do not go in for any more of that "wont to conquer others" stuff, far too expensive and troublesome!
Posted by: David Duff | Tuesday, 11 April 2017 at 13:24