Now pay attention and absolutely no sniggering!

This post is a report on a serious and scientific subject with which I have, er, grappled over the years.  No, no, not global warming, nor the state of Erwin Schrödinger's bloody cat, I'm talking complex, variable, multi-statistics here best summed up by the headline in The Mail:

The changing size of British breasts: How the average woman’s bust has bloomed from a modest 34B to a curvy 34DD like Kim Kardashian in just 50 years!

Now you can see my difficulty immediately because I haven't the faintest idea what '34B' or '34DD' means, they could be the square root of pi for all I know!  It is one of those deeply mysterious constructs (and believe me, they frequently are constructed!) of the sort you come across in quantum physics where a pair of particles might be spinning one way or another and you can only settle the matter by looking but, alas, the mere attempt to look results in a painful nudge in the ribs from the 'Memsahib' - and God help you if try a surreptitious feel!

Anyway, some, no doubt dandruff-ridden, 'smelly-socks' from The Mail has conducted an in-depth investigation and tells us that our frightfully decent, British ladies have now achieved the sort of dimensions only available to Ms. Kim Kardashion:

 

 

I'm sorry but this technical investigation will have to come to an end because, alas, that photo of Ms. Kardashian has left me in an over-wrought condition and I must go and lie down to recover.  Damn, it's very tough supplying you ingrates with all these important stories  . . .

 

 

Comments

[Uncle Mort]

As a scientist I need both first-hand and second-hand evidence for such claims. May as well be thorough.

[Whitewall]

Nothing like "enhancements" I'm betting? What say you ladies?

[Andra]

I was going to comment on this nonsense but I have decided against it. After all, you're only men and not very bright.

[Bob]

If science is so great how come it can't genetically engineer those things to produce wine or whiskey instead of milk? Is that too much to ask for?

[JK]

Didn't cha reckon David, you've got durned near, the perfectmost Archivist?

So, breasts're gettin' bigger hmmm ...

http://duffandnonsense.typepad.com/duff_nonsense/2014/01/a-tit-or-two-a-day-keeps-the-doctor-away.html

[Whitewall]

Well JK, I feel healthier already! Now which of those four lovelies might Andra be? I feel a nap coming on. At least I won't roll off the bed for a while.

[BobH]

Why is it when these silly women stand for a photograph, that they pose awkwardly with their legs crossed like they are desperate for a pee?
They all do it. The typical photos in the Daily Mail, even if a woman has just smashed her car up, she stands next to the wreck in this silly pose trying to look sexy.
Who told them that that position makes them look sexy?
It just makes them look silly

[TheBigHenry]

Perhaps there is a health benefit to the ogling of female breasts. But I have been told that the real fountain of youth is L'Origine du monde in the Musée d'Orsay, Paris.

[AussieD]

Heavy sigh.

BobH it is because of the cantilever effect. You need to put one foot out in front of the other so you don't overbalance forward - anyway that's my theory.

[Andra]

BobH - quite right.

[Up2L8]

AussieD: "You need to put one foot out in front of the other so you don't overbalance forward - anyway that's my theory."

Is that political speak to say "they are unbalanced"?

[David Duff]

Henry, your reference to that painting should have come with a 'Elf 'n' Safety' warning! True, after checking it on Wiki, it took me some time to work out exactly what it was - well, it's been some time, you know! - but the shock of realisation was not good for an elderly gent like me! For a moment I thought someone had shot the neighbour's cat!

[Timbo]

Come for the jokes; stay for the culture!

[AussieD]

Up2L8 that is very perceptive of you.

Once met a young lady [?] like that in Bugis Street. :-)

[Penseivat]

The Daily Fail article refers to British women yet shows photos of Americans. You have even shown a photo of a Lebanese American who is famous for having a big arse (and a shed load of cellulite if recent, untouched, photos are anything to go by).
What's wrong with showing the various stages of British cleavage - no, NOT Dianne Abbott's - development over the years? Where are the bountiful British books? We deserve to see 'em.

[Penseivat]

Should be "boobs" and not "books". Damon autocorrect.

[Whitewall]

I have a feeling our host can't divert his eyes this morning?

[Cuffleyburgers]

Bob - good point, well made.

[Penseivat]

AussieD,
Only one? In 1966 it seemed like half the Swedish Merchant navy were there (allegedly).

[TheBigHenry]

Curiosity killed the neighbor's cat, David.

[AussieD]

Penseivat I can only remember one. I think the beer was contaminated as I seemed to lose my memory - couldn't have been I had too much surely.

[Penseivat]

AussieD,
Depends if you were drinking Tiger or Anchor, unless you were flush enough for San Mig, and DIDN'T drink at Redwings Bar. Did you ever stay long enough to watch the sunrise crawl along the street to your table? Only managed it once myself. Anyway, back to the main topic, a (real) female friend once remarked she would love a pair of tits as good as those displayed on the front of a tall blonde, with a very pronounced Scandinavian accent, and an equally pronounced Adam's Apple. Hence my question earlier.