Aaaaaargh, it's that wedding again! I shuffle up here to my attic, switch on this computer-thingie in order to read the Sunday papers (without which, of course, I would have no opinions about anything) and all I see is page after page after page telling me about 'The Wedding' - which is the one thing I already have an opinion on! My dears, the whole thing looked ghastly and the 'yuuuuge' number of kiddie-winkies let loose to inflict their mayhem obviously required the use of several Tasers! Sorry to be grumpy but obviously my invitation went astray in the post so I am not inclined to be generous!
The vicar's daughter reminds us of biblical truth: 'The good lord giveth and the good lord taketh away' - or something like that, my biblical studies, like the rest of my studies, were never very good. Anyway, that Mrs. May, having come on as more socialist than Aneurin Bevan suddenly whips out her cosh and gives us poor, old-age pensioners a whack. Apparently, the £300-odd quid that that nice, well brought up, Mr. Cameron used to send me and the missus every winter to pay for a sack of coal to keep us warm in the winter, is to be stopped. I am shocked, I tell you, shocked! Come back, Dave, I never meant to call you 'dim'!
That Peter Hitchens 'is a very naughty boy': It's worth reading him in The Mail on Sunday because it saves you the trouble of taking a cold shower! After dishing out various kicks and punches aimed at our sloppy thinking he ends his commentary today by providing a tip as to who is up and who is down in the 'Power Stakes'. He suggests that you should watch and note who visits whom. The one who visits is the junior, as in President Macron visits 'Mutti' Merkel, and 'The Donald' visits the king of Saudi Arabia. 'Nuff said!
"The horror, oh, the horror": There is some advantage in living in a rain-swept, chilly island when you consider that yesterday, in 'San Fran' (where else?) they had a "Summer of Love" parade in which the participants were stark naked. And no, nothing on earth would induce me to publish photos of the event.
Fox is fuxed: A few years ago when I was able to contribute to the upkeep of my 'ex-Best Friend', Rupe, and his sundry wives, I used to be a keen watcher of Fox News. One of my favourite programmes was called "The Five" in which five commentators discussed current events. Obviously, Fox being Fox, most of them were Right-wingers but they always had a 'stat-Leftie' present in the somewhat unlovely shape of Bob Beckel. I liked him because he raised grumpiness to new levels. He was also, on occasions, quite funny but his disdain for all things conservative was often vituperative. Last week, this doyen of the progressive movement was fired - for making racist remarks to a black employee Simply too, too delicious!
Oh no - say it ain't so! Having ducked and dived my way through the saturation coverage of Pippa's wedding, suddenly a thought occurred - Harry and Meghan are probably next! I think I may sail round the world on one of those titchy sailing boats!
Find that brolly fast! The Met Office is forecasting a heatwave - and we all know what that means!
Tragedy or farce? There is a small story in The Telegraph concerning a South African hunter who was crushed to death by an elephant. He was a professional hunter leading a party of his customers when they blundered into a herd of elephants which went berserk. One of them lifted the man using its trunk but was then shot and in collapsing crushed the man to death. I confess that at first I smiled but then I learned that the man had five children and so I gave myself a slap! What do you think?
No more rumbles today
And in 2020 the BBC is going to means test your free TV licence. However, the Christmas Bonus is safe!
Posted by: backofanenvelope | Sunday, 21 May 2017 at 10:14
Would you believe "that wedding" is occupying a great deal of screen time over here too?
Posted by: Whitewall | Sunday, 21 May 2017 at 11:34
That's OK, BOE, they only produce about one decent programme a year so I'll just buy the box-set.
I have it from an impeccable source, Whiters', that it is top viewing in Outer Mongolia!
Posted by: David Duff | Sunday, 21 May 2017 at 12:06
So by Mr. Hitchens criteria, Mr. Trump's proposed visit to Britain would signal British ascendancy? As did Mr. Obama's? There may be a tiny flaw in the argument.
Posted by: Pat | Sunday, 21 May 2017 at 14:35
Well, actually, Pat, it was the vicar's daughter who broke all records in crossing the Atlantic to hold Donald's hand!
Posted by: David Duff | Sunday, 21 May 2017 at 14:41
Peter is still Christopher's dullard brother. One indication:
"Mrs May’s Election manifesto is one of the most powerful and significant political documents of recent years. Written with style and force, it communicates a major change in British politics."
The man apparently has not read the "manifesto", is hopelessly partisan, disingenuous, or has not a skeptical bone in his body.
Compare it to Labor's manifesto which, whether you agree with it or not, actually contains some detail and is not simply blowing sunshine and rainbows up the reader's backside.
Hitchens is correct that Labor's tone is outdated, though in his opinion about a decade less so than it is here. However, younger people possibly won't hear it that way. If Tories plan to stay in power through civil psyops while riding roughshod over the general population, like our Republicans and "radical center Democrats", Labor might not seem so ridiculous in a decade or so.
Btw, the auto financing bubble is a problem here too. Our banks are still a shining example of hands across the water.
Posted by: Bob | Sunday, 21 May 2017 at 16:18
"Find that brolly fast! The Met Office is forecasting a heatwave - and we all know what that means!"
The Met Office's predictions are so reliable that the Association of British Insurers are reluctantly recommending increasing premiums because of the increased likelihood of storm damage. They are so sure of this they don't even have to wait for the damage to happen......
Posted by: mike fowle | Sunday, 21 May 2017 at 19:11
Bob, I can only conclude from your, er, 'analysis' of the two manifestos that you have read neither of them (nor me), or if you have, then you have understood neither of them!
Mike, you, too, are a very naughty boy and it will definitely 'rain on your parade'!
Posted by: David Duff | Sunday, 21 May 2017 at 21:17
@DD and Mr. Xi's visit?
In truth international visits are determined by convenience. A yank, or a Chinaman might visit 28 European capitals in a week, because it's a lot of talks for one tour.
Don't mean they think Europe superior.
Any more than Edward vii thought India superior when he visited.
Posted by: Pat | Sunday, 21 May 2017 at 21:31
David, "I confess that at first I smiled but then I learned that the man had five children and so I gave myself a slap! What do you think?" Nothing less than two slaps will do!
Posted by: Whitewall | Sunday, 21 May 2017 at 22:05
"What do you [me] think?"
Well David, kiddies or not I'm reckoning taking Blue Tick Hounds out on an elephant hunt can only be thought - hillbilly thinking-wise - of something like a suicide mission. I'm figuring Whitewall very likely figures like I do. You're unfamiliar with Blue Ticks I take it David?
http://www.tbbiggamehounds.co.za/kennels/Leopard_hunting_hounds_in_Africa.html
Theunis Botha Big Game Blues indeed.
Posted by: JK | Sunday, 21 May 2017 at 23:10
David, I've read them both. While no expert on British politics, I know the difference between political advertising (propaganda) and an attempt at a discussion of issues.
You apparently don't like having your energy subsidy taken away but still don't want to consider anything Labor might have to say about it. It's the principle, you rationalize, not who gets more or less or whether it's in any way equitable or workable.
And before your likely reply, redistribution of wealth is not exclusively Marxist. Authoritarian, conservative, and rightist governments usually redistribute upwards. Plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose.
Posted by: Bob | Sunday, 21 May 2017 at 23:21
David
In the interest of clarity Ms Merkel is also a vicar's daughter. Be clear whom you are insulting.
Posted by: Hank | Monday, 22 May 2017 at 00:27
Maybe I am just not the sympathetic type so I just can't feel sorry for the bloke who got squashed by the heffalump.
I see absolutely no reason for shooting heffalumps whatsoever save some wish to be as macho as a Hemingway novel.
If it is a matter of hunting for food that is different but killing for "sport" is sick.
Posted by: AussieD | Monday, 22 May 2017 at 00:29
Bob! You really you really and truly read both the Tory and Labour manifestos? You know, I worry about your social life!
Posted by: David Duff | Monday, 22 May 2017 at 09:07
I have to say that "that wedding" looked like almost every middle class wedding that I have ever been to. No doubt the fizz and the food were excessively pricy, but I'd be prepared to bet that the speeches were equally cringe-worthy, that some of the outfits worn were equally giggle inducing and that there was some serious misbehaviour with at least one one of the bridesmaids!
Good luck to the happy couple, I genuinely hope that the marriage goes well and doesn't end in tears a few years from hence, and may Pippa Middleton at last fade into the obscurity that she so richly deserves.
Posted by: Richard | Monday, 22 May 2017 at 12:43
Yes, Richard, that about sums it up - and I gather from reports in 'The Daily Muck' that the Best Man's speech reached the sort of cringe-inducing awfulness that one expects on these occasions.
Posted by: David Duff | Monday, 22 May 2017 at 13:32
David, I'm a little younger than you but probably not enough to make much of a difference in social life. We do still have close friends and family, but they certainly tend to "thin out" in various ways over time.
You read a lot of military history. Trying to get a feel for Western politics in general is an interest of mine. D&N is helpful, thank you.
Posted by: Bob | Monday, 22 May 2017 at 15:50
Bob, I'm not sure you will get much of a feel for Western politics here, more like the grunt 'n' grumble of a crotchety old man!
Posted by: David Duff | Monday, 22 May 2017 at 17:38
David, crotchety old men are a major part of any political constituency, and you link stuff I'd never read otherwise.
Posted by: Bob | Monday, 22 May 2017 at 19:05