Now before you all bombard me with rude replies, please read the title carefully. It is, in effect, 'who am I?', not 'what am I?' I raise the question because only last week we all went quite soppy over that 'frightfully decent British gal', er, Johanna Konta, who did so well at Wimbledon. She assures us that she is British and sort of confirmed it by doing what we Brits do so awfully well - losing gracefully! However, the fact is that Ms. Konta is the daughter of Hungarian parents and was born in Australia. However, in today's Telegraph she insists that she has lived in Britain for nearly half of her life and that she has taken British citizenship and as far as she is concerned she's British and, er, Ez így van, as they say in Budapest!
I wonder about myself (but not very often!) because as I may have mentioned before I am a true born bastard and therefor I echo the words of 'Edmund', "Now gods, stand up for bastards!" My mother was as Scottish as porridge oats but rumour - I was never vouchsafed the details - had it that my father was Canadian. Even so, I was born in London and have lived my life in England and so, whilst the Union staggers on, I shall claim to be British and if it sunders then I will claim to be English.
However, in this confusing era of global mass movements of population the whole notion of which particular sub-group one belongs to, or at least, lay claims to, is increasingly complicated. I suppose in melting pots like America or Australia nobody cares too much, although having said that, according to the Telegraph article there have been some unfortunate collateral damage recently to various politicians in Australia who have turned out not to be exactly 'sixteen annas to the rupee' when it comes to citizenship.
Anyway, I welcome Ms. Konti as a true blue Brit not least because she is gorgeous - even if she has, so far, failed to respond to my letters!
Ah Duffers 'tis the age old question, "Who am I?". Followed of course by, "What is the meaning of life?". We know of course the answer to the latter is 42.
As to the two local politicians Section 44 of our Constitution forbids anyone from sitting in our National Parliament if they hold any citizenship other than Australian; i.e. dual citizenship. It is delightful irony that two of the loopy fringe, a.k.a The Greens, held dual citizenship. One Kiwi and the other Canadian. End result - "Bye, bye sunshine". Oh, and on the way out just leave the salary and perks you have garnered whilst illegally sitting in our Parliament.
Lots of other "pollies" are now checking to make sure they are "true blue" before they also get the single digit salute and are shown the door.
As an explanation for "true blue" it is Aussie vernacular for being genuine. Expressed by John Williamson in song.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ceWKrsJX9N4
Who am I? A fifth generation Aussie Jew whose DNA is Norse so perhaps I should also ask the same question.
Posted by: AussieD | Wednesday, 19 July 2017 at 12:45
Thank God the question is "who am I" and not what am I! First, I am native American...born from English stock and raised here. As far as I'm concerned, it doesn't get any better than that!
David, if you will study the fine form of Ms. Konti, you will notice her badly bent right elbow and wrist on her forehand return. The wrist can't take much pressure like this and therefore she can't write or type a response to your letters. Hope this helps.
Posted by: Whitewall | Wednesday, 19 July 2017 at 13:00
You might then be anything. There is no typical Canadian. You might be part Aborginal or any of the multitudes of immigrants who came thereafter. No other country in the world has a higher percentage of its citizenry foreign born. As a Canadian myself I embrace this. It is wonderful. And it sure has fixed the problems presented by the Baby Boomer demographic hump that looms as a problem in so many places as the ratio of pensioned retirees to orders supporting them increases. You know what I like most about immigrants and refugees? Every blessed one of them brings with them demand for goods and services that give other Canadians jobs.
Posted by: Peter G | Wednesday, 19 July 2017 at 13:47
AussieD, "A fifth generation Aussie Jew whose DNA is Norse"! That raises a fascinating problem - how do you get your 'kippah' over that helmet with the two horns?
Thank you, Whiters, I knew there had to be a reason for her lack of response, not least because I enclosed a photo of myself!
I say, steady on, Peter, "Every blessed one of them brings with them demand for goods and services that give other Canadians jobs" makes you sound dangerously free market capitalist!
Posted by: David Duff | Wednesday, 19 July 2017 at 13:57
"I welcome Ms. Konti as a true blue Brit not least because she is gorgeous - even if she has, so far, failed to respond to my letters!"
Maybe if you spelt her name proper... ;-)
Posted by: Frank | Wednesday, 19 July 2017 at 14:53
Oh bugger!!!! No wonder my success with women is so miniscule! Thank you, Frank, my 100 lines will be handed in by teatime.
Posted by: David Duff | Wednesday, 19 July 2017 at 14:57
So, we have one-up-man-ship here, AKA a pissing contest? I'll give it a try:
I have lived on 2 continents; on an ocean; on a train; in 3 countries; in 5 American States; and, in about a dozen different US zip codes. My Mom was a Polish Ashkenazi Jew and so was my Dad, albeit my Y-chromosome says I am descendant from an Irishman. I was once a boy without a country (a "displaced person"), but my only official citizenship has been American for the last 62 years (and counting).
So, who the f*ck am I? I like to style myself American; Philosopher-Viking; ACBL Silver Life Master; Nuclear Physicist; Gentleman; Scholar; and "No more Mr. Nice Guy!"
Posted by: TheBigHenry | Wednesday, 19 July 2017 at 18:00
You should of aksed me to pruff reed you're lettor. :-)
Posted by: Frank | Wednesday, 19 July 2017 at 18:27
David, I seem to have made the spelling error too! Maybe I studied the form of Ms. Konta too closely for any proper spelling to follow. Now what if Frank is getting all her letters because some of us can't spell? What say you Frank?!
Posted by: Whitewall | Wednesday, 19 July 2017 at 18:39
Aw shucks, Henry, of course you're 'Mr. Nice Guy', a tad prickly at times and one worries at the Irish connection and the 'card-sharping' but we love you all the same!
Frank - I'm not falling for that one - you write your own letters to the ladies!
Whiters, I suspect you are right, that Frank was always a bit of a smoothie!
Posted by: David Duff | Wednesday, 19 July 2017 at 19:32
“My blushes,
WatsonDavid!” The feeling is mutual, David.I fess up to occasional prickliness. It is likely a consequence of the well-known physicist's penchant for overly scrupulous attention to detail. It is one of my personal failings, though it probably accounts for my better-than-average bridge playing.
Posted by: TheBigHenry | Wednesday, 19 July 2017 at 20:28
Oh David, this again?
https://www.mapquest.com/us/ar/duff-283436656
"Canadian" eh?
Posted by: JK | Wednesday, 19 July 2017 at 21:08
Now afore y'all consider visitin' David's "homeplace" there's just the one thing ... its gotta be done by air.
(Yep, Arkansas' Legislature hade the good sense to, declare it a National Landmark. Homages an' all!)
http://160knots.com/Gastons.htm
Posted by: JK | Wednesday, 19 July 2017 at 21:24
Now afore y'all consider visitin' David's "homeplace" there's just the one thing ... its gotta be done by air.
(Yep, Arkansas' Legislature hade the good sense to, declare it a National Landmark. Homages an' all!)
http://160knots.com/Gastons.htm
Posted by: JK | Wednesday, 19 July 2017 at 21:24
David, you should try the old Scottish chat up line and say get them aff hen.
Posted by: jimmy glesga | Wednesday, 19 July 2017 at 21:28
how do you get your 'kippah' over that helmet with the two horns?
With great difficulty Duffers but I have been considering getting a kippah with horns attached to solve the problem.
You know what I like most about immigrants and refugees? Every blessed one of them brings with them demand for goods and services that give other Canadians jobs.
Peter G I am no economist and struggle with the finer points of economic argument but there is a counter argument to your assertion. I cannot find the article I read but here is one from The Guardian no less which seems to argue that your assertion may not be as rosy as you think.
https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2008/apr/01/immigrationpolicy.immigrationandpublicservices
Posted by: AussieD | Thursday, 20 July 2017 at 00:34
Jimmy, where have you been? I was about to organise a search party, starting, of course, at your local! Anyway, welcome back.
JK, what excellent taste and judgment on the part of the 'Arkie' authorities to make the township of Duff a national monument. Actually it was one of my forefathers who founded the place. A bit like Jimmy, above, he wandered off (perhaps 'staggered' is more accurate) from his local, fell into bad company and ended up in America and was told that to find 'bonnie Scotland' he needed to go west, young man, go west. There he fell into the clutches of the infamous Barney Magroo family and was later buried with a smile on his face!
AussieD, if you find a 'kippah' with horns a photo would be much appreciated!
Posted by: David Duff | Thursday, 20 July 2017 at 08:24
kippah with horns

Posted by: TheBigHenry | Thursday, 20 July 2017 at 09:45
Back to the original question. If a person genuinely feels British they are.
How to tell if they're genuine? That's the $64000 question.
Posted by: Pat | Thursday, 20 July 2017 at 10:11
Er, shouldn't that be 'the £64000 question', Pat?
Posted by: David Duff | Thursday, 20 July 2017 at 11:01
Shalom TBH. Couldn't get the image to open damnit.
Imagine the sight of a longship with a bloody great Magen David on the sail - as my younger grand-daughter would say "Awesome Pa, awesome".
Posted by: AussieD | Thursday, 20 July 2017 at 11:21
Well there's Jimmy! Where ya been so long?
About them Duffs...a pack of them settled in the far western North Carolina mountains as well as the eastern side in Tennessee. Some are kin on my wife's side.
Further question, if one can feel British, then it is so. What about English?
Posted by: Whitewall | Thursday, 20 July 2017 at 11:49
The government can make anyone British. However, to be English is something else. (I am Anglo-Irish).
Posted by: backofanenvelope | Thursday, 20 July 2017 at 11:58
@DD
The origin of the $64000 question is the sum offered by an American millionaire (back in the day when a million was real money) to a work study consultant for an answer to the question "how do I improve my business?
Posted by: Pat | Thursday, 20 July 2017 at 13:54
And, Pat, consultants have been minting it ever since!
Posted by: David Duff | Thursday, 20 July 2017 at 15:06
Shalom DD,
Send me an email to hl98@cornell.edu and I will email the image to you.
Best, Henry
Posted by: TheBigHenry | Thursday, 20 July 2017 at 17:27
I meant to say "Shalom AD", but anyone here is welcome to email me.
Posted by: TheBigHenry | Thursday, 20 July 2017 at 17:29
Hello David and Whitewall I am still around alive and kicking. Having problems with this tablet for dunkies as it keeps cutting out and losing signal. Hope you two and all contributers are well... The Donald seems tae be hingin in!
Posted by: jimmy glesga | Thursday, 20 July 2017 at 21:47