Sorry, sorry, sorry but I was on a mission of mercy this morning as I took the 'Memsahib' to the hospital for a check-up on her fractured ankle which, I am delighted to announce, is fully mended - hoorah!
I thought you would want to know about this serious e-mail virus.
Even the most advanced programs from Norton or McAfee cannot take care of this one. It appears to affect those who were born prior to 1955.
Symptoms:
1. Causes you to send the same e-mail twice.
Done that!
2. Causes you to send a blank e-mail!
That too!
3. Causes you to send e-mail to the wrong person.
Yep!
4. Causes you to send it back to the person who sent it to you.
Aha!
5. Causes you to forget to attach the attachment.
Well well!
6. Causes you to hit "SEND" before you've finished.
Oh, no not again!
7.. Causes you to hit "DELETE" instead of "SEND."
And I just hate that!
8. Causes you to hit "SEND" when you should "DELETE.."
Oh No!
IT'S CALLED THE "C-NILE VIRUS."
Have I already sent this to you?
Or did you send it to me?
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A man sunbathes in the nude and ends up burning his penis.
His doctor tells him to ease the pain by dipping it in a saucer of cold milk.
Later, his blonde wife comes home and finds him with his todger in a saucer of cold milk.
"Good heavens!" she remarks "I always wondered how you reloaded those things!"
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Once there was a young boy that lived in the country. They had to use an outhouse and the little boy hated it because it was hot in the summer and cold in the winter and stank all the time.
The outhouse was sitting on the bank of the river and the boy determined that one day he would push that outhouse in the water.
One day after a spring rain, the river was swollen so the little boy decided today was the day to push the outhouse in, So he got a large
pole and started pushing. Finally, the outhouse toppled in and floated away.
That night his dad told him they were going to the woodshed after supper. Knowing that meant a spanking, the boy asked why.
The dad replied, "Someone pushed the outhouse into the river today. It was you, wasn't it son?"
The boy answered yes. Then he thought a moment and said, "Dad, I read in school that George Washington chopped down a cherry tree and didn't get into trouble because he told the truth."
Dad replied, "Son, George Washington's father wasn't in the cherry tree."
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Dating in the 60's:
It was a hot Saturday evening in swinging London in the summer of 1960, and James had a date with Annabella.
He arrived at her house and rang the bell.
'Oh, come on in!' Annabella's mother said as she welcomed James.
'Have a seat in the sitting room. Would you like something to drink? Lemonade? Tea?'
'Tea, please,' James said. Mum brought the tea. 'So, what are you and Annabella planning to do tonight?' she asked interestedly.
'Oh, probably go to the flicks and then maybe grab a bite to eat at the coffee bar, perhaps have a walk on the beach afterwards.'
'Annabella likes to screw, you know,' Mum informed him.
'Really?' James gasped, surprised to say the least. 'Oh yes,' mother
continued, 'When she goes out with her friends, that's all they do!'
'Is that so?' asked James, incredulously.
' Oh yes,' she said. 'As a matter of fact, she'd screw all night if we let her!'
'Phew! Well, thanks for the tip!' James said as he began thinking about alternative plans for the evening.
A moment later, Annabella came down the stairs looking pretty as a
picture, wearing a pink blouse and a hoop skirt and with her hair tied back in a bouncy ponytail.
She greeted James.
'Have fun, kids!' mother said as they left.
Half an hour later, a completely dishevelled Annabella burst into the
house and slammed the front door behind her.
'The Twist, Mum!' she yelled angrily to her mother in the kitchen.
'The bloody dance is called the ....Twist!'
That's your lot - better late than never!
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