When doing nothing creates more work!

My enforced expulsion from this blog has produced some unexpected effects which I will detail later but first, as a certified country bumpkin, let me throw some old turnips at 'SoD'.  He was the 'Flash Harry', metropolitan, computer whizz kid who insisted that I should switch my, er, systems from good, old-fashioned wire that has served us all since the 19th century to some 'whizzy-do' entity called 'fibre'.  In the old days, if my 'phones or my computer went down I made a call from my mobile and 'a man in a van' would rock up and put it right.  This time, I couldn't actually speak to anyone because there's no bloody telephone number!  Thus, I was reduced to tapping out a text message on my mobile telephone which, alas, is so tiny I can hardly press one key without pressing two more! 

Now, my first mobile was the size of a house brick and whilst it ruined the cut of one's suit, at least you could see the buttons!  My latest one is the size of an old-fashioned match box and not only can I not see the buttons but I need a magnifying glass to read any incoming messages!  Needless to say, 'SoD' urges me to obtain the very latest 'whizzy-do-thingie' but as I remind him, I really can't be arsed to go back to night school to learn how to use it!  Anyway, approximately 99.7% of my calls from this titchy device take place from Sainsbury's supermarket back to home as I seek instructions on exactly which tin or package of whatever from a choice of zillions does 'madam' desire?!  (I dare not return with the wrong things, obviously!)  I sometimes think these supermarkets stack their shelves with huge varieties of what amounts to the same thing just to confuse elderly gentlemen!

Now where was I?  Oh yes, unintended consequences.  Bereft of my computer and any excuse to hide up here in the attic, I was more or less forced to undertake other jobs.  Thus, the 'Memsahib' insisted that I drive her to a local Garden Centre - need I say more?  To be fair, this was something of a self-inflicted wound because, in a fit of madness, I had bought two wooden plant troughs without taking account of the fact that they would require filing with compost and then filling with, er, well, plants - yeeeeeeees, quite!  So, for the last two days I have fulfilled 'SoD's designation of me as a 'country bumpkin' by non-stop heaving of bags of soil and boxes of plants - whilst endlessly texting British Telecom(BT) saying, in effect, where the fuck are you?!  Actually, of course, I never saw a BT man at all because these days they have no need to visit your house, all they do is block the traffic in the High Street whilst they fiddle around with those mysterious, anonymous metal boxes which have suddenly appeared all over the place.  Just as well really because there could have been an embarrassing incident if he had turned up in person to tell me that my computer was fixed - I gather that covering engineers with kisses is not considered proper!

Anyway, I'm back and, as you can see, still full of crap, but I should warn you that there are still several outstanding jobs that need to be completed in the garden and the Memsahib's tapping shoe indicates that they are a priority!  Needless to say, just when you rely on the English weather to chuck down an ocean of rainwater - we get a mini heat wave - bloody weather!

 

 

Comments

[Loz]

"I sometimes think these supermarkets stack their shelves with huge varieties of what amounts to the same thing just to confuse elderly gentlemen!"

No worries on that front, comrade Corbyn will ensure the shelves are empty soon enough.

Ref the phone: You've just missed the chance to get a smartphone that looks and works just like your PC, so no learning needed ...

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/technology/2017/10/09/microsoft-finally-killing-windows-phone/

So you'll have to shell out £1000 for an iPhone now Crapple has cornered the market.

Welcome back!

Put the horse manure down and come and spread the like digitally, so much better whatever the weather.

SoD

[Whitewall]

David, are you allowed to deviate from the shopping list or must there be strict adherence?

[Loz]

Now here's an interesting one.

A bloke's been sent down and added to the sex offenders register for rough handling of his partner's breasts while having consensual sex ...

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2017/10/11/medical-graduate-put-sex-offenders-register-grabbing-tinder/

SoD

[Whitewall]

SoD,
maybe the consenting victim needs to provide a "how to, how not to" contract beforehand?