Should we hug 'Jezza' to our Tory bosoms?

Yes, yes, I know that the very thought of hugging 'Jezza' is the stuff of nightmares, look what it did to poor Diane Abbott, she has never recovered!  Even so, we small 'c' conservatives must grit our teeth and hug the little 'scrote' to our bosoms because he is all that stands between us and a Labour government.  Nobody has ever heard of any of his so-called 'shadow cabinet' which, on consideration, is probably a good-ish thing for the Labour party because if the GBP (Great British Public) actually realised that this collection of 'Komrades' could write the entirety of their collective political thoughts on a single placard, the Labour party would sink without trace!

Happily, 'Jezza' has been buzzing around the Labour party, both in and out of government, for decades, like one of those persistent, bloated flies that always ruin a nice picnic.  Thus, even a voting population with more interest in the fate of, say, Bolton Wanderers than they have in who runs the country have over the decades gradually realised that 'Jezza' is a total plonker incapable of running even that famously disastrous enterprise, a piss-up in a brewery!  Mrs. May should brace up and give 'Jezza' a nice big hug because he is, perhaps, her last hope of winning the next election.

I am obliged to the beautiful and brainy, Ms. Katy Balls via The Coffee House, for reminding me that despite the hapless Mrs. May presiding over the omni-shambles that is the current government, compared to 'Jezza' and his 'Kollective' she ain't too bad after all!  Apparently, the pollsters, YouGov, who were the first to predict the result in the last election, have the two parties virtually level but Mrs. May still leads in the preference votes for prime minister.  In comparing the situation with John Major in the early '90s, she reminds us that the main thing that saved him was the Tories' reputation for running the economy.  Next week, Phil 'Spreadsheet' Hammond has another go at producing a budget and we must all pray that he makes a better fist of it than he did last year!

 

Comments

[Bob]

David, your assurance 'Jezza' couldn't run a piss-up in a brewery has something less than a sharp edge. Cameron and May have not exactly excelled in competence.

[David Duff]

Bob, there are degrees of incompetence and whilst the Tories might be described, accurately, as a tad shambolic, 'Jezza' has remained a confirmed Marxist over several decades and despite the evidence of what that does to a country, the latest being Venezuela, the land of his great friend and very much admired comrade, Nicholas Maduro. What was it that Einstein said about people who keep on repeating the same errors over and over again?

[Whyaxye]

Two problems here. The first is that, although I defer to the polsters regarding the relative popularity of the leaders, I get the strong feeling that Corbyn is personally popular with lots of Guardian-reading student wanker types. Whereas McDonnell looks like the grim Marxist apparatchik he clearly is, "Jezza" has taught himself to appear calm and moderate and sensible, like a kind old uncle who you used to think was a bit odd, but now you realise is quite cool.

The second problem is to do with his competence. May is clearly incompetent. But she is trying to run a capitalist economy in a liberal democracy. Corbyn has no interest in capitalism or liberalism or democracy, and he will gauge his own competence according to how much damage he can do to all three.

[whitewall]

"he will gauge his own competence according to how much damage he can do to all three"
Do damage, wait out the cycle to return, do some more damage. Repeat. Why fight a decades long Cold War when the same goal can be accomplished internally by entrenched true believers? The Guardian will applaud politely.

[Bob]

David, we're in agreement that Marxism belongs in the ashbin of history, but Marxism probably isn't the main issue. The Tories haven't proven they can govern. A similar situation has occurred here after Bush II and Trump. I haven't studied British polls, but in addition to the young here, college educated, minority, suburban, independent, and traditional conservative voters have been alienated from the Republicans. It's probably not possible to avoid a backlash to Cameron and May either.

[Pat]

I seriously doubt Corbyn will ever be prime minister for two reasons.
Firstly there is a substantial minority who think he's a nice well meaning guy but not PM material. These people will vote for him if they think he has no chance, but not otherwise.
Even if Labour get a majority they will swiftly dump him, likely for Mc Donnell, as they dumped their innocuous and totally unmemorable leader for the GLC once they had a majority- in favour of Livingstone.

[Loz]

Fucking hell, this is surely being concocted by the God of mischief on acid and showered onto us as torment.

The Vulcan (aka John Redwood, Tory MP, for non-Brits) shows his true colours ...

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/brexit-john-redwood-tory-mp-investors-withdraw-money-uk-economy-city-london-eu-a8056771.html

He supported Brexit knowing the Brit economy will tank as a result, while advising his investment customers (from whom he receives a £180k salary to add to his MP's salary) to sell Blighty short and shift their investments to the EU.

With Brexiteer friends like that, do you guys need Remoaner enemies?

He should be jailed for insider dealing and shot as a traitor, no?

There's the choice you've landed us with: A crooked traitor or a Marxist moron.

Even on a bad day Junck-the-Drunk wasn't that bad.

SoD

[Andra]

The only Jezza I know is Alex Jesaulenko - a great football player - played for Carlton. Any other Jezza is an imposter.

[David Duff]

SoD, I might pay more attention to your rants if you could manage to cut down on the amount of four letter expletives you use. As you know better than most, my patience is not endless - you have been warned!

As for your main point, it is impossible to open the FT and read the original article, and I would trust The (non)Independent to summarise it fairly about as much as I would trust 'Junck the Drunk' with my whiskey collection.

Do calm down, dear, you are becoming over-excited!

[Bob]

The Vampire Squid is also making noises about Brexit:

https://www.reuters.com/article/us-britain-eu-goldman-sachs/goldman-ceo-blankfein-says-many-want-confirming-vote-on-brexit-idUSKBN1DG26E