This is your last chance, Prime Minister

In your terribly, polite, British way, Prime Minister, you attempted to offer those European 'suits' a reasonable compromise to help facilitate a congenial means of separating. Their response was to keep very 'schtum' and welcome you into their grand get-together in an Austrian palace where, once dinner was over, they then proceeded very publicly to pelt you with bread rolls in order to maximise your wretched, humiliating and very public embarrassment as they pissed all over you and your proposals.  It's over, Prime Minister!  Finished!  As your recently beloved but now very ex-lady friend from Germany might say, you and your silly compromises are kaput!

But in defeat there are often the seeds of eventual victory.  Now is your chance.  First of all sack that wretched nincompoop, 'Oily' Robbins, and his Civil Service gang of stupid EU loving twerps.  Your party conference is imminent, so now is the chance - the last chance! - for you to show some of the metal once displayed by 'Maggie' Thatcher.  Wrap yourself in the flag and lead this country out of that stinking, corrupt, anti-British "mess of pottage" that is the European Union.  No more 'ifs and buts', no more 'softly, softly', no more 'Mrs. Nicely-Nicely', just lead the country back to independence and freedom.

Do that, and you chances of remaining Prime Minister will instantly improve, and so will the chances of your party at the next election.

 

 

Comments

[AussieD]

The two fingered Archer's salute would be appropriate as a symbol of future dealings with the Eurotwerps.

You could even be welcomed back into the Commonwealth.

[Pat]

Perhaps Mrs May has (accidentally) done us a favour. She has allowed the EU to demonstrate that it incapable of being reasonable even when offered £39bn. Hence when HMG instead offers the sex and travel option it will have more backing in Britain.
I hope someone else will be handling that process, it's not Mrs. May's style.

[backofanenvelope]

If Mrs May was a normal human being, she would be sacking the Cabinet Secretary and her EU advisor and his team. Perhaps move the lot into the Northern Ireland Office. Then she would decline any more invitations of EU council meetings. She could nominate Rees-Mogg as her personal representative at such meetings. She would also get cracking on pointing out to the Irish and various other Eurotwerps just what they are letting themselves in for.

[Penseivat]

Slightly off topic, on 29th March, she could send Pickfords and other removal firms to Brussels to collect the furniture and equipment which we paid for in our contributions. Personally, I would start with removing all the chairs, urinals, and toilet bowls, then go on to the cutlery in the canteens and restaurants. While this is going on, get someone to put a virus in the software to remove everything from the hard drives except for non refundable subscriptions to a number of porn sites (I admit I have a twisted sense of humour). Anything else taken would be up to the removers. If only.

[Whitewall]

"In your terribly, polite, British way". Maybe that's the problem.

[Cuffleyburgers]

In all this posing and bullying I see echoes of the fatal Austrian ultimatum to the Serbs.

And in fact the EU since Junker the Drunker took over has come to resemble more and more the worst elements of the doomed Austro-Hangarian empire.

[Richard]

Would the line "Get thee to a vicarage" be appropriate?

[David Duff]

Very witty, Wilde, er, I mean, Richard!

[Pat]

@ Cuffers
The Austria-Hungarians wouldn't have dared without the backing of the German empire. And without it they would have lost.
The might of Germany is somewhat diminished, adding up to that of Austria-Hungary with the other 27- even assuming that the other 27 are with them.
The EU will follow Austria-Hungary into history.

[Cuffleyburgers]

Quite right pat, the germans actually goaded them into it.

Selmayr? Leopards, spots.

[Loz]

The Brexiteer position of capitulation to the EU with a hard Canada+ deal is as doomed as the Remainer position.

Neither can gain a majority in the peeps and pols to sustain leadership on the matter.

May's position is the only one that has sustainable power.

And she is tough, tougher than even I thought.

Get ready for no deal, and the pressure building like the critical moment in a world changing battle.

She is the only rallying point tolerable to Brexiteer and Remainer alike. Remember, services is 80% of the economy, so you'd be getting 80% of a hard Brexit, which is more than you deserve for a 52 / 48 % mandate, and no deal is the hardest Brexit of all which you should be pleased with too.

Teflon Theresa, the new Iron Lady built of modern bot materials, is the line. Stand firm in the line and one of the two Brexits you avow will be yours.

Break from the line now, and it's socialist oblivion for all of us.

SoD