Your Monday funnies, bright and early for a change!
After checking into the hotel, Father Willy O’Reilly finds a Bible on the bed-side table. He reads it for a couple of hours and then leaves his room and wanders into the lobby. There he strikes up a conversation with the pretty young receptionist.
After she has finished work, they share a few drinks in the bar and then retire to Father O’Reilly's room, but when the priest starts removing her clothes, she begins to have second thoughts. "Are you sure this is alright?” she asks. ”I mean, you are a priest.”
“Don’t worry, my dear,” he replies, ”it is written in the Bible.”
She believes him and the two of them spend a very pleasant night together. But in the morning, as the girl is preparing to leave, she says, ”You know, Father, I don’t remember that part in the Bible you mentioned last night. Could you show it to me?”
So the priest takes the Bible from the bed-side table, opens the cover and points to the bottom of the title page, where someone has written in pencil, '
' The girl in reception is a good fuck.'
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Please be careful about what you buy online.
Even if you buy stuff online please check out the seller very carefully.
One of our well known senior members just lost $4,000 plus tax on a penis enlarger.
They sent him a Magnifying Glass!!!
The only instructions that came along with it were:
"DO NOT USE IN SUNLIGHT”!
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I recently spent $6,500 on a young registered Black Angus bull.
I put him out with the herd but he just ate grass and wouldn't even look at a cow.
I was beginning to think I had paid more for that bull than he was worth.
Anyhow, I had the Vet come and have a look at him.
He said the bull was very healthy, but possibly just a little young, so he gave me some pills to feed him once per day.
The bull started to service the cows within two days, all my cows!
He even broke through the fence and bred with all of my neighbor's cows!
He's like a machine!
I don't know what was in the pills the Vet gave him . . . . but they kind of taste like peppermint.
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Lesson for the day.
Four worms were placed into four separate jars.
The first worm was put into a jar of alcohol.
The second worm was put into a jar of cigarette smoke.
The third worm was put into a jar of sperm.
The fourth worm was put into a jar of soil.
After one day, these were the results:
The first worm in alcohol - dead.
Second worm in cigarette smoke - dead.
Third worm in sperm - dead.
Fourth worm in soil - alive.
Lesson: As long as you drink, smoke and have sex, you won't get worms.
Have a good day . . .
If there were more juicy ad libs in the Bible, I bet more people would read it?
Posted by: Whitewall | Monday, 01 October 2018 at 12:16