Wisconsinites are bereft but Arkansaureans are celebrating!

Thanks to the good advice offered by my readers who pointed out that much of life in Wisconsin is like camping out in your deep freezer I am delighted to inform y'all that I have changed what passes for my mind.  Thus, my next visit to the good ol' 'US of A' - don't hold your breath! -  will revert to my original choice of Arkansas.  Quite apart from the unbelievable beauty of the countryside, I will have the chance to meet 'JK' and find out if listening to him is any easier than reading him!

Also, I understand that news has trickled down from 'them thar hills' that Barney Magroo (Purveyor of Fine Wines and Spirits to the Gentry) has conducted a tasting of his '19 Chateaux Hoggsville claret and the results are outstanding, although it is also reported that not many of the tasters are still standing!  To achieve full maturation, this claret has been laid down for at least 48 hours - well, the plastic bottles can't stand much longer! - and I can report that the bouquet is indescribable!

In addition, I am informed that good ol' Barney has also moved into the Calvados market and produced a brandy which has, in reviews, been given a rating of three "Yee Haws"!  The main ingredient for this very fine Calvados was based on the leftover apples that his hogs didn't eat!

I can't wait!

ADDITIONAL:  The other attraction about Arkansas are 'the peeps'!  Like many a Brit, I am always fond of genuine eccentricity and these two chaps epitomise that characteristic.  I give you, on the left, Mr. Charles Ferris and, on the right, Mr. Christopher Hicks:

 

According to reports, these two gentlemen were enjoying a convivial evening on Mr. Hicks' veranda whilst conducting an in-depth tasting of Barney Magroo's claret - yeeeeeeeeees, quite!  Mr. Ferris was wearing a bullet-proof vest of the very finest quality, as you do in Arkansas, so he invited Mr. Hicks to shoot him in order to test it.  Mr. Hicks, being a gentleman of the old school, obliged and left Mr. Ferris with a very painful bruise and a bad temper.  He insisted that Mr. Hicks don the garment and then emptied his magazine into the back of it.  Happily, there was no penetration but the two of them were hurting badly and went off to the hospital for a check-up, at which point - natch! - the cops turned up.  They tried to bluff their way out of it but failed and are now awaiting court appearances for 'aggravated assault'.  That's the problem with cops - no sense of humour!

Thanks to https://www.ihatethemedia.com/

 

 

 

Comments

[Whitewall]

David, any Arkansan will tell you the very best distilled spirits are run through an old car radiator twice before left to set and then bottle. An Ozark secret brought from their cousins in Appalachia.

[David Duff]

Ah, thanks, Whiters, that explains the faint taste of anti-freeze which adds so much to the complexity of the flavour!

[JK]

No no David, You'ins ort know that when any vehickel rolls off anyline anywhar with papers destined to land in Arkansas fust thing our smogboard checks is weddar the radiator meets code. An' that means copper.

Now as to weddar yore ackshul whiffing a slight antifreezery aroma my best guess is you've accidentally opened a bottle of peach lightning.

https://www.rocktowndistillery.com/products/arkansas-lightning-family/

Oh an' David, its proper to spell it Arkansanese (you do know what dey say white lightnin' does to yore eyes do you not? Makes 'em sqwernch jes abit at fuhst. But hardly anybody livin' outside of de hills and hollers can quite get de lilt of de proper spoken 'qwern' part of sqwernch so during the forties we took to sayin' we'uns had took to studyin' to bein' Jap-eyed). We'uns is really quite cosmopolitang when ya gets to know us an' you will too be onc't you bump yore canoe on the Rock.

[JK]

Oh heck David, dem boys was yes keeping to traditions. You really ort know thet:

http://www.encyclopediaofarkansas.net/encyclopedia/entry-detail.aspx?search=1&entryID=3487

[Whitewall]

JK, I believe "Uppers" allowed as to how these pictured gents were closer to his neighborhood?

[JK]

Yeah Whitewall thets right. A'crost tha lake. Whur so many of da Yankees fleeing dere high-taxes Yankees persuasion governments come to light and brot with 'em thet despicable drink whine! Grandaddy allus tol' us boys we'd never amount to a hill of beans if'n we took to puttin' on the airs of a finger-lifter like all Yankees is known to be.

[David Duff]

Thanks, JK, your commentary clinches it - Arkansas it is! Mind you, I might have to brush up on the language!

[Bob]

Now hold on, JK. Only two of the fine Rock Town products are proper likker. The others are no stronger than whine.

Anyway, proper likker doesn't come from a store. According to an old friend of mine from Tennessee, you leave money on a stump next to the road and come back in 15 minutes to get a Mason jar full of the real thing.

[JK]

Well Bob that still is the proper way 'ere where I live properly speaking. A'cause we gots here in my county more Democrat church goers of the Campbellite way of thinking keeps voting the county dry.

But its a trade-off that works pretty good as the Campbellites loves guns more'n even probably the gunlovin'est Indianan you ever her't tell of. Matter of fact the only two machine guns legally owned I'm aware of hereabouts are owned by Democrats. One of 'em a preacher an' the t'other a librarian.

Bob, I heartily recommend you read that Encyclopedia of Arkansas link I place above - thatun'll give you a flavor of what livin' in proximity to Campbellites is like.

[Bob]

JK,

I read the link, but since you recommended it so highly read it again. On closer inspection I've come to some conclusions: Democrats aren't what they used to be. Religion is pretty much what it always was. And the Encyclopedia of Arkansas, because it refers readers to the New York Times, is kinda suspect.