Yes, sorry, late on parade - again!
A London Solicitor parked his brand new Porsche in front of the office to show it off to his colleagues.
As he was getting out of the car, a truck came speeding along too close to the kerb and took off the door before zooming off. More than a little distraught, the Solicitor grabbed his mobile and called the police.
Five minutes later, the police arrived. Before the policeman had a chance to ask any questions, the man started screaming hysterically:
"My Porsche, my beautiful silver Porsche is ruined. No matter how long it's at the panel beaters, it'll simply never be the same again !"
After the man finally finished his rant, the policeman shook his head in disgust.
"I can't believe how materialistic you bloody Solicitors are." he said. "You lot are so focused on your possessions that you don't
notice anything else in your life."
"How can you say such a thing at a time like this ?" sobbed the Porsche owner.
The policeman replied: "Didn't you realise that your arm was torn off when the truck hit you ?"
The Solicitor looked down in horror. "F***ing hell !" he screamed. "Where's my Rolex ????"
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This for my Aussie friends given the excitement of the current Ashes tour:
A blonde woman ran into a police station wailing. She claimed that she had been raped. After she stopped sobbing, the Police Officer requested her for a description of the rapist.
"He was tall and dressed in white. He was wearing all sorts of protective pads, gloves and helmet."
"Hmmm...appears to be a cricketer," concluded the policeman.
"Ah officer!" she confirmed, "then he must have been an English cricketer."
"What makes you think that he was English? From the accent?" asked the officer.
"No sir," she replied, "he just didn't stay in very long."
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This was listed as "An Arkansas funeral joke"!
The old man had died. A funeral was in progress and the country preacher talked at length of the good traits of the deceased, what an honest man he was, and what a loving husband and kind father he was. Finally, the widow leaned over and whispered to one of her children, "Go up there and take a look in the coffin and see if that's your pa."
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A blonde woman walks into a store and is immediately curious about a shiny object on sale. She asks the shop assistant, 'What is that?' The assistant responds, 'It's a thermos.' The blonde then asks, 'What does it do?' 'It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold.' So the blonde buys one.
The next day she brings the thermos to work with her. Her boss, also a blonde, asks, 'What is the shiny object?'
'It's a thermos.' 'What does it do?'
'It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold.'
Her boss then asks, 'What do you have in there?'
The blonde replies, 'Two cups of coffee and an ice-lolley.'
Crikey, it's lunchtime - that's your lot!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?list=RDcSSs4KUCEDE&v=cSSs4KUCEDE
Posted by: JK | Monday, 19 August 2019 at 12:56
JK, that was absolutely the very best link you have ever left me - terrific!
But I enjoyed this one, too!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hqny_TC_GVo&list=RDcSSs4KUCEDE&index=10
Posted by: David Duff | Monday, 19 August 2019 at 14:38
Hillary could run again: photo shows how.
https://freebeacon.com/blog/hillary-clinton-president-again/
Posted by: Whitewall | Monday, 19 August 2019 at 21:54
I think maybe I could do with one of those myself!
Posted by: David Duff | Tuesday, 20 August 2019 at 08:40