Is it just me or are Mondays coming round faster and faster?
The teacher gave the class a bowl full of lifesavers and asked the children to identify the flavors by their color: And they did:
Red........................ Cherry
Yellow................... Lemon
Green................... Lime
Orange ............... Orange
Finally the teacher gave them all HONEY lifesavers.
None of the children could identify the taste.
The teacher said, 'I will give you all a clue. It's what your Mother may sometimes call your father'
One little girl looked up in horror, spat her lifesaver out and yelled, 'Oh my God! They're ass-holes!
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An old drover walks into the barber shop in Black Stump Crossing, Northern Territory for a shave and a haircut. He tells the barber he can't get all his whiskers off because his cheeks are wrinkled from age.
The barber gets a little wooden ball from a cup on the shelf and tells the old drover to put it inside his cheek to spread out the skin. When he's finished, the old drover tells the barber that was the cleanest shave he'd had in years but, he asked, "Isn't it a bit dangerous? What would happen if I accidentally swallowed it? "
The barber replied, "No sweat mate, just bring it back in a couple of days like everyone else does."
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Two crows were flying along slowly minding their own business enjoying the scenery, when all of a sudden out of the blue an F/A-18E/F Super Hornet goes screaming past, barely missing the now somersaulting, and wildly flapping crows.
"Oh my God!" exclaims one crow in surprise. "He was sure moving!"
The other crow replies: "I reckon you would be too if you had two backsides and both of them were alight!"
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A Sergeant was addressing a squad of 25 and said: "I have a nice easy job for the laziest man here.
"Put up your hand if you are the laziest."
When 24 men raised their hands, the Sergeant asked the other man: "Why didn't you raise your hand?"
The man replied: "Too much trouble raising the hand, Sarge."
That's it, back to work - or bed - whichever!
Is it just me or are Mondays coming round faster and faster?
The days drag on and the months fly by.
Posted by: Whitewall | Monday, 16 September 2019 at 11:45