For a change, a few pictorial jokes of a political nature:
After 10 years, the wife starts to think their kid looks kind of different. So she decides to do a DNA test. She finds out that the kid is actually from completely different parents.
Wife: Honey, I have something very serious to tell you.
Husband: What’s up?
Wife: According to the DNA test results, this is not our kid.
Husband: Well you don’t remember, do you?? When we were leaving the hospital, we noticed that our baby had pooped.
You said: Please go change the baby, I’ll wait for you here.
So I went inside, left the dirty one there and got a clean one.
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1 - Talk to yourself, because there are times you need expert advice.
#2 - Consider "In Style" to be the clothes that still fit.
#3 - You don't need anger management. You need people to stop pissing you off.
#4 - Your people skills are just fine. It's your tolerance for idiots that needs work.
#5 - The biggest lie you tell yourself is, "I don't need to write that down. I'll remember it."
#6 - These days, "on time" is when you get there.
#7 - Even duct tape can't fix stupid - but it sure does muffle the sound.
#8 - Wouldn't it be wonderful if we could put ourselves in the dryer for ten minutes, then come out wrinkle- free and three sizes smaller?
#9 - Lately, You've noticed people your age are so much older than you.
#10 - You thought growing old would take longer.
#11 - Aging sure has slowed you down, but it hasn't shut you up.
#12 - You still haven't learned to act your age, and hope you never will.
And one more: So...….you know you are growing old when
"one for the road" means taking a pee before you leave the house.
………………………………………………...
An elderly couple were at home watching TV.
Phil had the remote and was switching back and forth between a fishing channel and the porn channel.
Sally became more and more annoyed and finally said, "For God's sake, Phil... leave it on the porn channel... you know how to fish!"
That's it for today!
Ahh, Sally is a dear!
Growing old is when you bend down to tie your shoe lace and look to see what else you can do while down there.
Posted by: Whitewall | Monday, 17 February 2020 at 15:00