Yes, yes, I know, late again but don't go on, you sound worse than my wife! Also, I should warn you that these jokes are very 'blondist'!
A blonde was driving home after a game & got caught in a really bad hailstorm. Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it to a repair shop. The shop owner saw that she was a blonde, so he decided to have some fun...
He told her to go home and blow into the exhaust pipe really hard, & all the dents would pop out.
So, the blonde went home, got down on her hands & knees & started blowing into her exhaust pipe.. Nothing happened.. So she blew a little harder, & still nothing happened.
Her blonde roommate saw her & asked, 'What are you doing?'
The first blonde told her how the repairman had instructed her to blow into the exhaust pipe in order to get all the dents to pop out.
The roommate rolled her eyes & said, 'Uh, like hello! You need to close up the windows first.'
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A blonde was shopping at Tesco's & came across a shiny silver thermos. She was quite fascinated by it, she picked it up & took it to the Assistant to ask what it was.
He said: That's a thermos..... It keeps hot things hot, and cold things cold.'
'Wow, said the blonde, 'that's amazing.....I'm going to buy it!'
So she bought the thermos & took it to work the next day.
Her boss saw it on her desk. 'What's that,' he asked?
'Why, that's a thermos.....It keeps hot things hot & cold things cold,' she replied..
Her boss inquired, 'What do you have in it?'
The blond replied... 'Ice cream & some coffee.'
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O'Toole applied for a forklift job at a famous Irish firm based in Dublin.
A Norwegian applied for the same job and since both applicants had
similar qualifications, they were asked to take a test and led to a
quiet room with no interruptions by the Manager.
When the results were in, both men had scored 19 out of 20.
The Manager went to O'Toole and said: " Thank you for coming to the interview, but we've decided to give the Norwegian the job."
" And why would you be doing that ? " asked O'Toole, " We both got 19 questions correct. This being Ireland and me being Irish surely I
should get the job ? "
The Manager responded, " We have made our decision not on the correct answers, but on the question you got wrong."
"And just how would one incorrect answer be better than another ? "
"That's simple. On question number 7 the Norwegian wrote down -
I don't know.
You put down - Neither do I."
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Lynn & Judy were doing some carpenters work on a House.
Lynn was nailing down house siding, would reach into her nail pouch, pull out a nail & either toss it over her shoulder or nail it in.
"Why are you throwing these nails away?" asked Judy.
Lynn explained, 'When I pull a nail out of my pouch, about half of them have the head on the wrong end so I throw them away.'
Judy got completely upset & yelled, 'You moron! Those nails aren't
defective! They're for the other side of the house!'
The first one is a case of the blonde leading the blonde.
Posted by: Doctor Weasel | Monday, 10 February 2020 at 16:56