At this doom-laden time I thought some medical 'funnies' might be appropriate:
As a musician, I play many gigs. Recently I was asked by a funeral director to play at a graveside service for a homeless man. He had no family or friends, so the service was to be at a pauper’s cemetery in the back country. As I was not familiar with the backwoods, I got lost. I finally arrived an hour late and saw the funeral guy had evidently gone and the hearse was nowhere in sight. There were only the diggers and crew left and they were eating lunch. I felt badly and apologized to the men for being late. I went to the side of the grave and looked down and the vault lid was already in place. I didn’t know what else to do, so I started to play. The workers put down their lunches and began to gather around. I played out my heart and soul for this man with no family and friends. I played like I’ve never played before for this homeless man. And as I played ‘Amazing Grace,’ the workers began to weep. They wept, I wept, we all wept together. When I finished I packed up my banjo and started for my car. Though my head hung low, my heart was full. As I opened the door to my car, I heard one of the workers say, “I never seen nothin’ like that before and I’ve been putting in septic tanks for twenty years.
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A man is in a Hospital bed wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth. "Nurse" he mumbles "are my testicles black?"
The nurse raises his gown, holds his cock in one hand and his balls in the other. She takes a close look and says, "There's nothing wrong with them sir."
Man pulls off the oxygen mask, smiles at her and says very slowly: "Thanks for that. It was lovely but listen very, very carefully ... are-my-test-results-back?!"
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A man staggers into a hospital with concussion, multiple bruises, two black eyes and a 5 iron wrapped tightly around his throat.
The doctor asked "What happened to you?"
"Well I was playing golf with my wife when we sliced our golf balls into a field of cows. I found one stuck in a cow's fanny. I yelled to my wife 'this looks like yours', I don't remember much after that ..."
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WARNING: This will make you groan!
A guy goes to the doctor.
"Doc, I can't stop singing 'The green, green grass of home.'"
"That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome."
"Is it common?"
"It's not unusual."
Right, that's it, I think you have all suffered enough!
A fine selection.
Posted by: Jack the dog | Monday, 30 March 2020 at 12:35
Good stuff DD. Cheered me up no end.
Posted by: Andra | Monday, 30 March 2020 at 21:45
https://babylonbee.com/news/americans-excitedly-anticipate-getting-paid-with-their-own-money
Admittedly that item may be exclusive to the one nation's citizens but - most likely, it is not.
Posted by: JK | Tuesday, 31 March 2020 at 02:52
And then next year the $1200 is considered earned income along with the applicable tax.
Posted by: Up2L8 | Tuesday, 31 March 2020 at 10:32