I have kept relatively quiet about tomorrow's election, not out of discretion, or because I will almost certainly be proven wrong or even because I am pretty sure you are all as bored with it as I am! No, my main reason is my almost total ignorance. I am not ashamed of this because it is a condition I share with all the 'meeja' and their highly-paid 'experts' and with most of the opinion polls. Of course, one of the opinion polls will prove to be more accurate than the others but as nobody knows which one then it is a total gamble to choose which one!
So instead, I will give you my hopes for the result tomorrow. Obviously, I want Boris and the Tories to win, not because I am a 'yuuuuuuuuuge' admirer but because, despite the 'cock-ups' and 'snafus' one expects from a Boris-led administration, it will be infinitely preferable to anything else on offer. Part of my support stems from my fascination with the career of Dominic Cummings who to my - and probably his, too! - surprise has ended up as a key advisor in the Tory HQ. Where this man will lead us, no-one knows for sure, least of all himself! He will already have built up some hefty opposition for his 'off the wall' approach to politics from the usual 'collective' of stodgy mediocrities who control the Tory hierarchy. Still, some ideas are glinting through the smog, such as kicking the BBC out into the public arena where they will have to earn their own living instead of relying on licence payers. Similarly, it seems that, at last, a cool and detached eye will be cast over the foreign aid department which shovels so much of our 'dosh' into the pockets of sundry gangsters and murderers around the world!
I am less than impressed with Boris's glad-handing of 'zillions' of my money (as I fondly think of it!) to all the 'usual suspects' such as the NHS, et al! I live in a small hope that all those, er, 'promises' will go the way of most pre-election promises! If indeed, Boris really and truly 'gets Brexit done', then we must expect exceedingly troubled times ahead, particularly given the suggested 'decline and fall' of the EU as Germany slides towards recession. I know nothing of the details of Boris's so-called 'deal' with the EU but I fear the worst because our civil service couldn't negotiate their way out of a paper bag, let alone the fine mesh net the EU will cast over us. So long as we manage to evade the control of their wretched Courts system, I will be satisfied.
Now, having donned my NBC warfare suit, I turn to Labour! I sort of want them crushed but not, I hope, totally! Corbyn and his polit-bureau need to be smashed by the electorate but we need a functioning opposition, so I hope that a core of decent Labourites survive. In fact, and I find this difficult to write, I suspect that Labour will do rather better than the experts believe. It is almost unbelievable that anyone with more than three brain cells and a sense of smell could even contemplate a Labour government given their political make-up today. But, to paraphrase an old American saying of great wisdom, 'you'll never go broke underestimating the intelligence of an electorate!'
Finally, the 'il-Lib-non-Dems' who proved my summary of their two-faced hypocrisy to be absolutely spot-on when they decided to stick two fingers up to the democratically decided decision by the British people to leave the EU by simply announcing that were they to win they would simply rip up the referendum result. I suspect, or at least, I hope that that ghastly, bossy and stupid 'head girl' who leads the party gets a big slap from the electorate that she so obviously despises!
I was going to finish this tedious diatribe but I suddenly remembered that hideous woman, 'Mrs. McWhinge', up in, er, bonny Scotland. Come on, you Jocks, sober up and just 'stick yure heed in wi' your bonnet on' and get rid of her so that I never have to hear her voice ever again!
There you are, that was a useful and perceptive analysis of the political situation in dear, old Blighty, don't you agree? Sorry, I missed that . . .
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