DUFF & NONSENSE!

Now read this and then read that!

I assume that because Tim Bouverie's book "Appeasing Hitler: Chamberlain, Churchill and the Road to War" has only just been published it took several days for Kindle to process my order but this morning it arrived.  Waiting in Yeovil Hospital for the Memsahib's left eye to be examined following her recent operation - all is well - I was able to make a start.  Let me provide you with a taster from the opening lines of the Prologue:

On the evening of Friday 1 September 1939 - [I was 31/2 months old!] - the former First Lord of the Admiralty, Alfred Duff Cooper [no relation], changed as usual into his dinner jacket before joining his wife, Diana, and three Conservatives at the Savoy Grill.  A day of brilliant sunshine had given way to a balmy evening and there was nothing within the splendid art deco dining-room to denote a crisis.  Emerging later, however, the Coopers were bewildered to find themselves in complete darkness - a result of the hastily imposed blackout.  Taxis were nowhere to be found and the couple were beginning to wonder how they were going to get home when 'Bendor' Grosvenor, 2nd Duke of Westminster, appeared in his Rolls Royce and offered them a lift.  Gladly the Coopers accepted, only to regret their decision when the Duke began to inveigh against the Jews, whom he held responsible for the coming war.  Reminding himself that he and his wife were guests in the Duke's car, Cooper, who had a volcanic temper, held his tongue.  When, however, the Duke expressed his joy that Britain was not yet at war with Germany, since we were really Hitler's 'best friends', the former First Lord could restrain himself no longer.  Before making a swift exit at Victoria, he erupted, telling His Grace that he hoped Hitler would 'soon find out that we were his most implacable and remorseless enemies'.  The next day, Cooper was amused to hear that Westminster was going around saying that if Britain did end up going to war then it was all the fault of 'the Jews and Duff Cooper'.

What a terrific opening to a serious history of an even more serious crisis.  In a few lines it summarises the cavernous divisions in British society at the time.  Yes, it is more social than political but having read on, entranced, I can assure you that Mr. Bouverie is equally adept and skilful in describing the political melt down that was occurring.

I cannot recommend this book too highly!

 

 

 

Quelle domage!

For once, I use that term without a hint of irony.  It is impossible to define exactly how and why such old 'monuments' like Notre Dame grow in veneration over the ages.  I suppose, given the all too brief nature of our own life span, we invest ever more in artefacts created by us which last on and on for centuries.  To be brutally honest, I have never been a great admirer of Notre Dame but then I must confess to an instinctive dislike of most continental church architecture - and even more - the way in which their interiors are decorated.  The Roman Catholicism is too overt for my English taste!  Also, just a very brief walking distance away there is the exception to my rule of thumb in the utterly exquisite Sainte-Chappelle whose modest entrance is hidden away between what looks like various bureaucratic offices.  Squeeze past them and you enter one of the most elegant chapels you could ever wish for - click on the link.

That said, the fire in Notre Dame has shocked our French neighbours and I sympathise with them as I would for anyone who has had a treasured artefact damaged.  Happily, I understand that the main structure remains sound so all is not lost.  Now they must set about emulating the efforts of their medieval forebears and repair the damage, er, but I hope it doesn't take quite so long!  The fire may have started due to current repair works that were going on and there-in lies a warning to HMG who are - God help us! - currently 'supervising' various repairs to the House of Commons.  I trust the authorities will take note of my strict instructions to the effect that the House of Commons is NOT to be set on fire unless all MPs are present and the doors locked!

 

 

 

The Daily Mail has hysterics

The Mail was in full 'shouty mode' this morning at the news that Shemima Begum, the teen-age terrorist who left England and went off to the middle east to help ISIS, has been granted legal aid to fight the decision to strip her of her British citizenship.  Well, I suppose it helps sell a few more copies as your average Brit toddles off to work nodding in agreement and muttering imprecations under their breath to the effect that they should just hang her!

Well, to be fair, the vast majority of people would not think that but you can understand the extreme grumpiness of people whose hard-earned taxes are being used for what they see as a pointless, and even insulting, exercise.  Also, given the inherent soppy stupidity of many a Magistrate in this 'our septic Isle', 'the Peeps' are probably right to suspect that the decision might well go Ms. Begum's way. 

Nevertheless, and it hurts me to write this, Mr. Jeremy Hunt, our current 'Secretary for Foreigners', is entirely right when he states that:

"On a personal level, it makes me very uncomfortable because she made a series of choices and she knew the choices she was making, so I think we made decisions about her future based on those choices.

"However, we are a country that believes that people with limited means should have access to the resources of the state if they want to challenge the decisions the state has made about them and, for obvious reasons, those decisions are made independent from politicians.

"The decision to deprive her of her citizenship was taken by a politician. Obviously the decision about whether she accesses legal aid or not has to be done independently."

Well said, Jeremy!

 

 

 

The Sunday Rumble: 14.4.19

A cheerful way to awake:   Yes, indeed, there's nothing like waking up with a smile and that is exactly what I did this morning as I heard on my bedside radio the sound of (Sir) Lewis Hamilton roaring to victory at the Chinese Grand Prix.  What an incredible race driver he is!  Even so, if Ferrari can sort out their internal politics with team leader Vettel under enormous pressure from 'the new kid on the block', Charles Leclerc, then (Sir) Lewis might well face testing times ahead!

 

What to do about that damned Aussie-Scandie?   As if our, er, distinguished(?), Home Secretary did not have enough on his plate, he must now decide whether to send Julian Assange to America where 'The Donald' is already licking his lips in anticipation, or, to Sweden where sundry ladies are already sharpening their scalpels prior to de-balling him!  Personally, and at the risk of upsetting my American friends, I think the ladies should have first go.  I have mentioned before that I have considerable reservations concerning the American justice system, especially when politics are involved.  I was amused at a headline at The National Review which asked "Why isn't Assange being charged with collusion with Russia?"

 

I stayed up last night!   Having deployed zero energy for the past few days, I decided to stay up late and whilst idly flicking round the talentless desert that covers most of the TV channels, I came across a film called "Red".  It was complete and utter tosh from start to finish and featured a host of 'way past it' actors who should have known better.  Needless to say, I watched it to the end and enjoyed every minute of it!  I gather that the film grossed $199 million thus proving that all those old actors, or their agents, know a hell of a lot more about movies than me!  This is a sample of the cast list:

Bruce Willis as Francis "Frank" Moses
Morgan Freeman as Joe Matheson
John Malkovich as Marvin Boggs
Helen Mirren as Victoria Winslow
Karl Urban as William Cooper
Brian Cox as Ivan Simanov
Richard Dreyfuss as Alexander Dunning

and finally, of all people, Ernest Borgnine - dammit! where did they dig him up from?  Anyway, I chuckled my way through it all, not least because, I suspect, the actors were all enjoying themselves enormously - well, on their money, wouldn't you?

 

Thanks, mate!   I refer, in my impeccable 'Aussie' accent, to my e-pal, 'AussieD', who has sent me a link to Quadrant On-line and an article by Anthony Daniels which says everything which has festered within me for the last few years.  Here is Mr. Daniels' opening sentence which gives you the flavour of his essay:

The precise date of the discovery by theatre directors that they are greater than Shakespeare cannot be specified: the discovery was more a process than an event. But by the time I saw a production of Richard II at the Almeida Theatre a few weeks ago, the superior genius of any director over that of Shakespeare was an established principle and indisputable fact.

I will be returning to this subject - you have been warned!

 

The odious Bercow clings on:

According to The Mail, despite indicating that later this month he would announce his retirement, the despicable, little tit intends to cling on for longer.

Sorry to ruin your Sunday with a picture of the ghastly little monkey but I thought you should know.  Oh God, what have we done to deserve a House of Fools like this?

 

My bad, my life already!

Sorry, sorry, but as a sympathetic friend of Israel I really have not followed closely their recent election in which, to a lot of people's surprise, 'Benjy Boy' was re-elected as Prime Minister.  The great question for me is, is that "A Good Thing" or "A Bad Thing"?  I really must try and keep up with these matters.

 

Is it time to pelt David Attenborough with rotten veg?  I ask because I am utterly fed up with seeing him appear, mostly on the BBC (British Bilge Corporation) telling us yet again - and again - and even more again, that the end of the world is nigh because of global warming.  Sorry, Sir David, you're a lovely old sweetie but, alas, you are also a prat!  And an exceedingly boring prat, at that!

 

 

No more rumbles 

 

Dammit, I think I am becoming a masochist

God knows I am in the depths of depression over this Brexit fiasco, although there are some simmering red-hot coals burning away beneath, so why would I rush to buy a history book which tells the story of perhaps the single most shameful episode in my country's history?  I refer, of course, to the Munich surrender.  This infamous photograph sums it up:

A book has just been released by 'a new kid on the block' called Tim Bouverie and he titles it with due brevity, and deadly accuracy, "Appeasing Hitler".  I have already read a couple of approving reviews but in such matters - natch! - I await the final imprimatur from 'The Heffalump', aka, Simon Heffer.  He provides it in his review in today's Telegraph.

I am not going to enjoy reading it because the shame and disgust will sicken me and I am already full of shame and disgust over the infantile antics of our current Prime Minister and her (so-called) government.  I am too old to believe in the decency of most of our politicians but I must confess that I never thought to witness stupidity and insane ambition on such a scale as we see today which sinks to the depths of cowardice and self-deception as that displayed by Neville Chamberlain in 1938.

Even so, 'The Hefferlump' recommends the book and praises the author, and so I must obey!

 

 

First, let's count the bodies!

There has been much made of the anniversary of the 1919 Amritsar massacre in which British troops opened fire on a crowd of protesters.  It was an act of gross stupidity and wickedness but, as some of my more knowledgeable readers pointed out in the comments, anything we Brits can do in that line, the Indians can do better!

In this week's 'Speccie' there is a letter-writer who does the sums:

Sir: In acknowledging post-colonial guilt, William Dalrymple asks us to perceive how others see us. If only those critics could ever see themselves (Books, 6 April). The Amritsar massacre of 1919 was a failure, but how many more families were affected by the Amritsar massacre of 1984? More people were killed by the Indian republic in ‘Operation Blue Star’ than by Dyer in 1919 — and thousands more Sikhs were killed in pogroms perpetrated with the connivance of the Indian National Congress in 1984.

India has its own record of imperialist crimes. Modern India was scarcely months old when it invaded the independent principality of Hyderabad: 200,000 people were killed in a naked act of territorial aggression. In 1975, India also subjected the principality of Sikkim to military occupation and annexation, and from Khalistan to Assam has suppressed multiple regional independence movements with a bloodiness that makes the Troubles look like a playground scuffle. Apologies from Britain for crimes caused during the Raj should only be forthcoming when modern India is forced to make amends for its own neocolonial atrocities.

None of that reduces Gen. Dyer's guilt by an iota but it is always good to keep things in perspective.

 

'Shooting civilians, the sort of thing we Brits are awfully good at!'

I apologise instantly for my crass heading to this post.  It is meant to be ironic but, "as any fule do no", irony rarely works.  As we approach the 13th of April, the 100th anniversary of the Amritsa massacre is looming large and several books on the subject have been published on the, literally, bloody subject.  For my non-Brit and/or non-Indian readers, this was the event in April 1919 in which British troops, under orders from a particularly dim British general, opened fire on a crowd of un-armed protesters.  They kept firing for ten minutes and expended 1,650 rounds of ammunition killing 379 men, women and children and injuring thousands more.

Whilst it is true to say that in the bloody history of states murdering people Amritsar is relatively small, nevertheless, it was a monstrous act and on this centenary occasion it deserves some study.  I gather that some 'Leftie' film director has just released a film on the subject but I think reading one of the recent book releases will provide a better view of the subject.  Over at The Coffee House there is an excellent essay by Hardeep Singh which is a good place to start.

 

 

Alan Ayckbourn, the mirror to us all

The other day I picked up a mention of Alan Ayckbourn who is about to open yet another of his plays - he has written over 70 of them - at his own theatre 'oooop north' in Scarborough where he bases himself.  Alas, in all my amateurish theatre 'career', I never managed to play a part in any of his plays and nor did I get to direct one.  My loss because he is a playwright of genius. 

Mind you, having said that, I can't quite recall any of the many I saw, I think because, in essence, many of them were very similar.  Not, I add in haste, that the various plots were in any way the same but just that the essence of them seemed to be to hold a mirror up to us all and show us our many foibles.  I still wince when I recall that in one play which mostly consisted of a middle-class dinner party, there was one character who dominated the conversation, honking and hooting almost non-stop.  Ah, I thought, I know some-0ne just like that, who can it be?  The penny dropped, with a thud, when I suddenly realised that this character sounded just like me at sundry dinner tables I had attended during my boozy middle-age. Ouch!

One of my favourite memories of his plays was one I attended during my one and only visit to the USA in Boston.  I was so struck that one of Ayckbourn's quintessentially English plays would be playing in a studio theatre 'over there' that, of course, the 'Memsahib' and I simply had to go and see it.  It was terrific and on the way out I was able to congratulate the cast on their excellent British accents.

Ayckbourn is a month older than me and where he gets the energy and inspiration to continue creating and writing I do not know but I hope he never stops!

 

 

The ten most evil people of all time

I take my title from an article at The American Spectator by Larry Alex Taunton.  His choice, in reverse order, is as follows:

10. (tie) The Kims: Kim Il Sung, Kim Jong Il, and Kim Jong-un

9. The Sanhedrin of Jesus’ Day

8. Ivan Grozny (ie: the Terrible)

7. Vladimir Lenin

6. Muhammad

5. Adolf Hitler

4. Josef Stalin

3. Mao Zedong

2. Margaret Sanger

1. Karl Marx

I can't say that I go along with all of his list although he certainly nets a few culprits.  For example, Karl Marx never killed anyone, all he did was write an exceedingly stupid book which sundry mass murderers then took up and used an excuse for their inhuman behaviour.  Also, I'm not too sure about the Sanhedrin of Jesus' day, not least because I have never heard of them!  Alas, bible studies were not high on my list.

Mind you, I am pleased that he put Mao higher on his list than Joe Stalin.  When it came to the killing game, Mao outscored Joe all the way!  Equally, I congratulate him on his decision to place the late - and I hope she is rotting in hell - Margaret Sanger, the founder of another murderous organisation, Planned Parenthood. 

Of course, having crossed two off his list, I suppose I am duty bound to add a new pair and that is not easy.  I suppose Lord Edward Lytton, the Viceroy of India in 1876 'deserves' his place having governed over a famine that killed millions but then again, there's always Lord George Curzon, British Viceroy of India in 1899, who did much the same.  Equally, Winston Churchill deserves a mention for refusing point-blank in 1943 to divert at least some ships to India to help alleviate a famine that killed 3 million - despite the fact that Indian soldiers were fighting and dying for Britain!  And talking of Churchill, he also deserves castigation for encouraging Air Marshal Arthur 'Bomber' Harris to even greater efforts in his massive, and mostly useless, bombing campaign against German cities.

And those 'candidates' are just from Britian, so God only knows how many more 'candidates' exist in other countries!

 

 

Apparently, I am not alone!

Yesterday I received an e-mail request from a Mr. Alan Mabbutt OBE who is, apparently, "Director General of the Conservative Party".  In it, he informed me that all across Somerset there was a veritable host of Conservative candidates "stand(ing) like greyhounds in the slips, Straining upon the start", ready for the coming local elections.  He asked, awfully politely, whether I would like to assist in any way?  This was my reply:

"Dear Mr. Mabbutt,
As a man in his late '70s who walked the highways and byways of my village issuing pamphlets in favour of Brexit, I wouldn't cross the road to assist your wretched party which appears to be led by a lying liar the like of which I have never seen before!"

Thus, I was amused at this headline in The Mail today:

"'After the bloody mess they've left us in, you've got to be joking!': Moment furious man in Leave-voting Somerset slams door in Tory council candidate's face on BBC breakfast radio.

It wasn't me, Guv, 'onest!  Even so, I almost feel sorry for the Tory candidate who might be unfortunate enough to ring my doorbell whilst on canvassing duties.

 

 

Put your coffee cup down before looking!

 

 

 

Bob's cartoon for the Telegraph

 

 

 

 

Jolly good show, chaps, er, not!

A video has sneaked its way onto the internet and now dominates the news channels.  It shows members of my old battalion, 3 Para, who are currently on duty in Kabul, practicing pistol-shooting.  Well, so far, so normal but - oopsadaisy! - the target turns out to be a large photo of 'Jezza' Corbyn.  What shocks me is that given the large number of rounds fired there did not appear to be that many hits!  Could do better, chaps!

Needless to say, the BBC were 'shocked, I tell you, shocked'!    The rest of the media will -natch! - follow them into emotional meltdown.  Of course, they are right to say that it was 'stoopid' beyond belief but your average 'Tom', especially in the Parachute Regiment, is not exactly a sophisticated political thinker - as you will have gathered from reading this blog!  Indeed, it is just as well that they are not given the monumentally 'stoopid', and highly dangerous, tasks they are given to do by all those, er, 'sophisticated' thinkers in Parliament.

We should remember Orwell's accurate words:

“We sleep safely in our beds because rough men stand ready in the night to visit violence on those who would do us harm.”

No, 'Jezza', he didn't mean you, he meant all those murderous sods that you encourage in various ways!

 

 

My 'flabber' is now well and truly 'gasted'!

Apropos my previous post, it seems as though Monty Python has taken over the government of Britain!  To paraphrase good, ol' 'Enery the Second, 'Will no one rid me of this turbulent woman?'  She is a 'Klingon' prime minister the like of which I have never seen in my near 80 years.  She combines obstinacy with stupidity and adds a good dollop of egotistical ambition to produce the very worst leadership this country has suffered since  . . . well, off-hand I cannot think of anyone to match her obdurate, mental incapacity!

To actually invite the Marxist leader of the opposition into No. 10, thus bestowing on him a respectability the nasty, dim-witted 'Trot' could never have obtained on his own, and also bestowing on the Labour party a veneer of respectability, is truly astonishing.  It is now clear that Mrs. May hates the Conservative party and, to quote a phrase, 'at a stroke' she has well and truly stabbed it between the ribs.  Suddenly, all those over-weeningly ambitious, 'wannabe'  leaders of the Tory party are left with nothing to lead.  The Tory party is dead, this is an ex-Tory party, the Tory party is no more!

What happens next?  I have no idea - I'm going back to bed!

ADDITIONAL:  There is another woman in my life - for God's sake don't tell the 'Memsahib'!  She is Ms. Allison Pierson, a columnist for The Telegraph, and I have only just discovered her - my bad!  She is both shrewd and sharp as her column today demonstrates - give it a read.

 

 

"Always look on the bright side of life"

So, as the governance of Britain slides down towards the DTL - er, that's a Deep Trench Latrine in 'Army-speak' - it is important to follow the good advice of Monty Python and his chums in "The Life of Brian" which is, of course, one of the greatest examples of English humour in recent times.

Some things in life are bad
They can really make you mad
Other things just make you swear and curse.
When you're chewing on life's gristle
Don't grumble, give a whistle
And this'll help things turn out for the best...

And...always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the light side of life...

If life seems jolly rotten
There's something you've forgotten
And that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing.
When you're feeling in the dumps
Don't be silly chumps
Just purse your lips and whistle - that's the thing.

And...always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the light side of life...

For life is quite absurd
And death's the final word
You must always face the curtain with a bow.
Forget about your sin - give the audience a grin
Enjoy it - it's your last chance anyhow.

So always look on the bright side of death
Just before you draw your terminal breath

Life's a piece of shit
When you look at it
Life's a laugh and death's a joke, it's true.
You'll see it's all a show
Keep 'em laughing as you go
Just remember that the last laugh is on you.

Returning, reluctantly, to the real world I will say that I would rather see our shambolic free parliament fighting over matters of real democratic importance than, say, Chinese troglodytes sitting in rows and doing exactly as they are told by their "glorious leaders!"  I am tempted to use the European parliament as another example of a disciplined 'troglodytical' (non)parliament but so long as we have naughty Nigel Farage sitting there we can but hope!

ADDITIONAL:  I seem unable to include a link to the YouTube extract from the film but you can find it easily enough.

 

 

 

Well, I will not be grieving for Grieve!

So the 'firing squad' has been formed up prior, one hopes, to the execution of Mr. Dominic Grieve MP.  His constituency party members have voted 182 - 131 that they no longer have confidence in him.  There will be further moves afoot before, one hopes, they level their 'rifles' and despatch him!  I have no animus against him for being a 'Remainer', he is as entitled to his opinion as I am to mine.  However, he was one of the several hundred MPs who voted in favour of holding a Referendum and who promised that 'the will of the people' would be upheld.

 

In his own words, "the decision of the electorate in the Referendum must be respected and that I should support a reasoned process to give effect to it".  Ever since then he has used every trick in the book to subvert 'the will of the people' and oppose Brexit.  Or to put it simply and clearly, he lied!  If his constituency party members deselect him it will help detoxify the House of Commons.

 

 

What an incredible lady!

I refer to the late and exceedingly brave, Virginia Hall, of whom, hitherto, I knew nothing.  She features in a book review in this week's Spectator.  American by birth, in 1933 she accidentally shot herself in the leg with a shotgun which resulted in a partial amputation of her left leg.  She named her prosthetic 'Cuthbert'! Alas, she found herself in Paris when the Germans invaded.  She made her way London and promptly volunteered for service with the SOE who sent her back into France as an agent.  She recruited enormous numbers of people to form intelligence networks and also helped in the escape of several incarcerated agents.  By September 1942 she was being hunted by the Germans and was forced to make her escape into Spain which involved an enormous hike over the Pyrenees:

One evening, having tended to her bloodied stump, she finally mentioned her discomfort to London by wireless. ‘If Cuthbert is tiresome,’ the uncomprehending reply came back, ‘have him eliminated.’

Back in London she transferred to the OSS and was then returned to France where she commanded some 400 French resistance fighters in the run-up to D-Day.  After the war, she married a fellow OSS agent and worked for the CIA.  She was awarded an MBE by Britain, a Croix de Guerre by France and the Distinguished Service Cross by America - the only civilian woman to be so awarded during WWII.

What a lady!

A Woman of No Importance: The Untold Story of Virginia Hall, WW2’s Most Dangerous Spy by Sonia Purnell

 

 

This sums it up!

My thanks to 'Miss Reddipenni'

 

 

 

 

Who do I think should succeed Mrs. May as Prime Minister?

Er, well . . .  of course . . . on the one hand . . . obviously . . . there's . . . but on the other hand . . .  and we mustn't forget old . . . but then again . . . bearing in mind . . . and all that sort of thing . . . to say nothing of dear old . . . but then remembering . . . so perhaps . . . or there again, perhaps not . . . we really should keep clear in our minds . . . er, despite the confusion . . . the considerable merits, er, you know . . . well, sort of . . . whilst carefully weighing the pros . . .  but not forgetting the cons  . . . there's always good old . .  dammit, what's his name? . . . to say nothing of the merits of . . . er, well, perhaps not . . . but even so . . . and summing it all up . . .

Do I give a flying fig for any of them?

 

ADDITIONAL:  Actually, I do and my choice would be Dominic Raab but his chances are about equal to that of the mythical snowball in hell!

 

And so it goes on and on and on . . .

So, our 'representatives' spent all day yesterday and failed to agree on anything including the time even with Big Ben bonging away above them!  Why am I not surprised?  Even so this long-winded farrago has opened our eyes to some truths.  For example, there can now be no doubt now that John Bercow is an obnoxious, pompous, little rat with an ego the size of Everest.  The quicker his is deposed the better and one hopes that in future MPs will take more care in choosing a Speaker to control their affairs.

Also, it is confirmed, not that there was much doubt about it, that Mrs. May is utterly useless.  Again, it behoves Conservative MPs to think very carefully before they appoint their next leader given that their last choice has left them 'up shit creek without a paddle'!  I can't even begin to guess what future the Conservative party has after this debacle.  However, I can visualise exactly what future we will suffer if Corbyn's Marxist Labour party seizes power - "The horror, oh, the horror!"

In the meantime, the 'Big Brothers' in Brussels continue to ram through their nefarious stratagems which have but a single aim - the installation of a European dictatorship.  Yesterday they tricked their way through the EU parliamentary voting system by altering at the last moment the voting schedule in order to ensure that two measures were passed.  The first set the foundations for them to seize control of the internet and the second was to introduce a legal requirement for all cars to be fitted with electronic systems which will, amongst other things, allow them to know exactly and precisely when and where you drive your car.

Oh, brave new world!

 

 

He has my sympathy

In a somewhat anguished piece in The Mail today, Jacob Rees-Mogg admits that he will be forced to vote for Mrs. May's pathetic version of (non)Brexit.  Unlike the majority of his fellow Parliamentarians, he is both a thoughtful and an honourable man and it must be excruciatingly painful for him to be prodded at bayonet point into the 'Aye' lobby - but needs must!  The sensible 'no deal' Brexit is dead and gone and the Parliamentary skunks are determined to ram the body politic into reverse and raise two fingers to the British people who want out of the EU.

Of course, May's deal is dreadful, as Rees-Mogg knows all too well, because it will leave us half in and half out and the European Commissars will begin turning the screws immediately.  There-in, I hope, I pray, there may lay an eventual second chance because as the European cosh descends again and again in all sorts of sensitive spots it may be enough to drive the British people into outright mutiny.

 

 

The light at the end of the tunnel is a high speed train!

I have been blogging boring for Britain for years now, regularly offering up my usually ill-informed opinions on current affairs to my regular readers most of whom, I guess, have difficulty sleeping!  Needless to say, I have probably been wrong far more often than I have been right but, hey, nobody reads yesterday's blogs, thank God!  

As the Brexit debacle swirls around the plughole before disappearing down into the drain I have suffered, indeed, my suffering continues and turns increasingly sour.  I watch with utter disgust the antics of our so-called 'leaders' as they lie and lie and lie again with insufferable arrogance as they set about defying the will of the people, a will invited and encouraged by themselves and with full promises to carry out the decision.  The fact that most of these disgusting lying-liars are Tories, formerly a party with some, albeit minimal, sense of propriety, adds to my nausea.

I cannot speak for others but for me the sense of utter repulsion is enormous.  I am not some teenage naïf, I am fully aware that politics is a dirty game mostly played by even dirtier rascals but to invite the people of a nation to express their choice and then to defy that choice is villainy - and stupidity - of the worst kind.  Actions produce re-actions, almost always unforeseen.  In my case, it is the beginning of disillusion.  For the first time in my nearly 80 years of life, I am disgusted with my own country.  I once volunteered to fight for it if necessary.  Today, I wouldn't lift a finger in its defence.

Sooner or later there will be an election - probably sooner! - and my guess is that the Tory party will be decimated as a punishment for its disgusting treachery.  At that point, the Marxist/Leninist Labour party will take over and another iron curtain will descend - around Britain!  Then we will get a 'Brexit' the like of which no-one anticipated.  Thank God, I will probably not see too much of it!

 

 

 

The Sunday Rumble: 24.3.19

An intermittent rumble today:   Dammit!  You can never rely on the weather!  My garden is only roughly 0.05 of an acre and, rather sensibly, I paved over most of it to avoid too much gardening.  Even so, the remaining 'postage stamp' of earth and sundry 'green things' (mostly weeds!) has the virility of a rain forest!  Whilst moaning and groaning about the cold, wet weather, as I do - waddya mean ya noticed already!? - at least I could remain inside warm and dry.  Today, of course, the bloody sun is shining and has melted my excuses.  All of this is my usual long-winded way of indicating that today's 'rumble' will be intermittent - and I heard that! - but at least you can rely on my desperate need for regular cups of tea to provide several breaks during which I can 'Bore for Britain'.

 

To the Germans, the EU is a religion:  Another interesting article over at The Coffee House, this one from a British musician working in Germany who, perhaps because of his musical training, has a keen ear for the German interpretation of the EU and Brexit.  On the basis of 'always know thy enemy', it is well worth reading.

 

In which Dan Hodges and Peter Hitchens agree - sort of:   And even worse, I, sort of, agree with them, too!  Hodges sums it up thus: "Tomorrow, MPs will begin dismantling Brexit".  Well, I told y'all a week or two ago that Brexit was finished.  Hitchens, on the other hand, makes an even starker forecast, "I fear a British Donald Trump. I fear such a person will steal the slogans of the Right and the merciless, dishonest propaganda methods of the Left – as the US President has done."  Our MPs are determined to overthrow the Prime Minister and the cabinet and seize political control over the people for themselves.  How long before the angry and resentful people, under the crude leadership of some foghorn agitator, decide that they will overthrow Parliament and seize control for themselves? 

 

Sorry, 'C' or 'M' or whatever you were called, no plaque for you!   I refer to the late Sir Stewart Menzies, the wartime head of MI6.  Forgive my confusion over which cover initial letter to give you.  I do know that one of your predecessors always signed himself as 'C' but since James Bond we all think of you as 'M'.  Anyway, despite your mostly excellent service to your country during WWII, the 'Pecksniffs' and 'Quill-pushers' at English Heritage have refused to grant you a blue plaque to be mounted outside your old residence.  The reason these oh-so-superior beings offer for their refusal is that you (along with just about everyone in the British establishment) failed to spot that master liar and traitor, Kim Philby.  The fact that you led the establishment of Bletchley Park which was an enormous aid to the country during WWII stands for nothing in the eyes of these snooty twats who actually agreed to a blue plaque being mounted in honour of the first lady dentist!  Honestly, you couldn't make it up!

 

This about sums up our so-called 'Masters of the Universe':  A summary from the Daily Mail says it all:

MPs are claiming one fifth more on their taxpayer-funded expenses than they did at the height of the 2009 expenses scandal which rocked faith in politicians for a generation, it has emerged.

The latest claims signed off by the Independent Parliamentary Standards Authority (Ipsa) include £180 spent by Jeremy Corbyn last March on artwork for a 'Jeremy Corbyn MP calendar', and the cost of two replacement toilet seats for the office of Britain's wealthiest MP, Tory Richard Benyon.

Only one question remains - should we hang them or burn them?

 

More rumbles later . . .

 

 

God bless Robert Mueller!

I have absolutely no idea what his long awaited - too long awaited! - report will contain but, bless his little cotton socks, at least he will drive Brexit off the headlines for the weekend and give us all a break 'over here'!  I have never understood, perhaps because I failed to try and understand, what all the fuss was about.  Washington, Republican or Democrat, is a festering swamp in which the default mode is crookery, cheating, bribing, fixing and corrupting which, of course, makes it so fascinating.  I doubt if there's anything much on Trump but you can be absolutely sure the Dems and their chorus in the media will make us much noise as possible.  Good!  Bring it on because that may, just may, drive Brexit onto page 2 and relieve my headache!

By the way, I do think Mueller deserves a pat on the back for achieving the impossible and, in a city totally dominated by the media and peopled with the very finest selection of 'dirty rats' anywhere in the world, keeping his tedious, plod-like investigation secret.  Of course, it may be that there was nothing to tell - who knows?!

 

 

Aaaaaaaaaaah, I keep hearing it over and over again . . .

This morning I switched on the radio by my bed and heard . . . BREXIT!

I went downstairs, switched on the TV and heard it again  . . . BREXIT! BREXIT!

I ran for my attic, switched on my computer and  - BREXIT! BREXIT! BREXIT!

 

 

According to the British Museum, as reported in The Telegraph, Edvard Munch's famous painting was not a scream at all.  In fact, it was a painting of a man who had heard the word 'BREXIT' 7,487,841 times and was desperately trying to block his ears!  He has my total sympathy!

 

 

"There will be blood" or should it be 'Will there be blood?'

The Westminster turmoil roils on and on with no end in sight and with the pressure mounting almost by the hour.  How will it end?  I have no idea - and nor does anyone else including the nincompoops in No. 10!  By and large the British, or at least, the English, are a steadfast lot, not given to hysteria but their patience is being stretched to hitherto untested extremes.  As I indicated the other day, Brexit is dead although a majority of the British public do not want to face up to that unpleasant fact which amounts to a slap in the face from the national politicians who allowed them to choose and are now doing everything to thwart their freely-voted decision.  When they do realise with what utter contempt they are viewed by the high and mighty, there may well be blood!

 

I think Bercow was right - God help me!

I never thought I would ever write those words but I stick by them.  Yes, Bercow is an utter disgrace as Speaker of the Commons as he makes no effort to hide his anti-Brexit convictions thus destroying the convention that Speakers should behave with impeccable neutrality.  You only need watch a few minutes of his behaviour in the chair to realise what a stupid, little man he is!

Even so, I do not like the habit of Mrs. May and her puerile (non)government in bringing back before the house the same resolution which has already been defeated twice in the hope that members will, eventually, vote her way!  Whilst it has been obvious for some time that she and her 'advisers' are totally useless, I am still surprised that all of them, including her, were surprised by Bercow's move!  Mind you, most of them, and I suspect her as well, are all 'Remainers' and thus she may not be too upset.

For an excellent report from inside the 'Globule' (the so-called machinery of government!), this 'dirty rat' (actually, a real hero) spills the beans on how determined they all are to kill off Brexit.  Essential reading!

 

 

The Sunday Rumble: 17.3.19

Australian Grand Prix:  Dammit, (Sir) Lewis, didn't you read the script?  You were supposed to roar off into the distance the minute the lights went out but instead you allowed your 'apprentice' to steal the race!  I trust that, as a true blue - or should that be 'true black'? - English gent of the first order you did not fall victim to all that Australian beer and the wiles of those many Australian 'Sheilas', as I believe they are called!  Even so, it was a special pleasure to find out that it was all 'fake news' about Ferrari developing a rocket-propelled engine!

 

"CHEAT":   If you missed it last week, more fool you because I did tell you that it was brilliant and you know you can trust my judgment!  The storyline was intricate - and diabolical!  If you know how to use all those 'catch-up thingies' then do it now!  Given the deplorable state of our TV productions, you will not see a better, more unusual thriller performed by a superb cast.

 

In which I suffered severe schizophrenia:   Yesterday I watched 'footie' on the 'telly', not something I am in the habit of doing but, alas, sentiment and memories drove me to it.  As a 'nipper', I was a fervent fan of Wolverhampton Wanderers but later in life, during the '80s, I was drawn to Manchester United - the era of George Best and all that!  Yesterday, they played each other and 'Wolves' won.  I didn't know whether to cheer or cry!

 

More sport - sorry!   For some reason and, I'm sure, absolutely nothing to do with those huge men and their muscular thighs, the 'Memsahib' has become hooked on Rugby.  Yesterday I watched the England vs. Scotland match, well, the first half anyway!  What a bore, the English massacred the 'Jocks' 31-nil so there did not seem much point in watching any more and, in the words of the dear old 'Screws of the World', "I made my excuses and left."  Where-ever you are on this planet, I will be surprised if you did not hear my chin hit the floor when I returned later to find that the game ended 38-38!  'Gob-smacked' ain't the word!  I hope our regular commenter, 'Jimmy Glesga', isn't suffering too much this morning!

 

Judicial Watch keep on squeezing:   Judicial Watch is an American conservative watch dog group that has its hands firmly clamped round the throat of the Obama regime in general, and the Clinton gang in particular.   It is unremitting in its efforts and finally it seems to be on the verge of success.  A judge has ordered the main 'perps' to produce previously hidden Obama-era government papers.  Should make for interesting reading!

 

That fella' Rembrant keeps following me!   It's another of those 'creepy coincidence thingies' which plague me constantly but the name 'Rembrandt' keeps popping up.  I may have mentioned before, but only about 27 times, that I have never forgotten seeing an exhibition of his work in London a few years ago.  In partiular, his self-portraits as an old man.  Now that I am poised to qualify as one myself, they strike home with increased power.  Here is one example:

 

A self-portrait, and I defy anyone not to be intrigued by the expression on the face.  Happily, I can quote a shrewd passage from the critic, Mark Hudson, in The Telegraph some five years ago:

Was the great “humanity” on which his reputation is based, exemplified by his extraordinary body of self-portraits, the product of painfully candid self-scrutiny, or a sophisticated, yet essentially sentimental gloss he was able to lay over his images at will?

I cannot answer that but what I can say is that those self-portraits, once seen, are never forgotten.

 

Vive La France - no, really!   Yes, yes, I know I occasionally spice these pages with snarky comments aimed at France but actually I am rather fond of the place and its people.  Anyway, there is an interesting article at The Coffee House praising 'mini-Macron' - yes, praising him! - but I will not attempt to precis it but instead urge you to give it a read.

 

A word of advice to the Defence Ministry:   Do not - ever! - take on a 'squaddie's' Mum!   I refer to Mrs. Diane Dernie, mother of Lance Bombardier Ben Parkinson, formerly of 7 Para, Royal Horse Artillery.  He, you may remember, was, in effect, 'blown to bits' in 2006 by a landmine in Afghanistan in which, amongst other things, he lost both his legs.

Ever since, on his behalf, his mother has fought an almost equally severe campaign against the 'quill pen pushers' in the MoD and finally she has won proper recompense for her son.  Well done, Ma'am, and you too, Lance Bombardier Parkinson!  Incidentally, for my non-military readers who may be wondering how 'Horse Artillery' fits into the Para Brigade, it is an honorific title granted to certain artillery units even if the rest of the 'Toms' refer to all gunners as "nine mile snipers"!

 

 

No more rumbles today

 

 

One down, 'yuuuuuge' numbers more to go!

The first of the dishonest and dishonourable ratbags in Parliament appears to have received his 'marching orders'.  I refer to the wretched Mr. Nick Boles MP who has resigned from his local Conservative party association because they are about to kick him out anyway!  Needless to say, the greedy little rat will continue to cling on inside Parliament not least, I suppose, for the salary and perks.  His constituency voted 60+% in favour of 'Leave'.  He is entitled to his own view but he promised to follow the result of the referendum.

Next up, I hope and pray, will be the half-French member for Beaconsfield, Dominic Grieve.  As Andrew Pierce reported in The Mail:

The former Attorney General Dominic Grieve has finally exhausted the patience of his local Tory members, it seems.
He is one of the most implacable opponents of Brexit, and determined to stop us leaving the EU. The trouble is that his Beaconsfield constituency voted to Leave.
The result is that Grieve will face a no-confidence motion at his annual Tory association meeting on March 29. If the vote goes against him, it could lead to his eventual deselection.

Mr. Pierce in his article points up a delicious irony:

The meeting will take place at the Bull Inn, Gerrards Cross, which first opened in 1688, the same year as the Glorious Revolution which saw the overthrow of James II as King.

Oh, simply too, too delicious,  don'cha just lurve irony!

 

They're just a bunch of 'cupcakes'!

I refer, of course, to all those MPs who yesterday told the majority of the British electorate to take their Brexit hopes and aspirations and 'stick 'em where the sun don't shine'!  Consequently, I am deeply grateful to Ms. Debra Messing - no, me neither, but I gather that she is some sort of an actress and also a 'yuuuuuugely' militant feminist - who has produced some cupcakes in the likeness of vulvas!   Yeeeeeeees, quite, er, scrumptious, don'cha think?!

 

 

Don't ask me why but the instant I read the article and saw the photo I thought of the Right (dis)Honourable Dominic Grieve MP, our resident token Frenchman (he's half-French) who, henceforth and forever, will be known as 'Cupcake' Grieve.

Thank you, Debra, darling, you're totally bonkers but I luuurve you!

 

 

 

It's over!

Some times, and in my case, quite often, it is necessary to acknowledge that 'pro' writers often say it so much better than us 'ams'.  In addition, of course, they often say it so much more succinctly than us 'blowhards'.  Mr. Rod Liddle at The Coffee House provides the perfect example in a piece headed "Brexit is now dead":

And that, my lovely friends, is it for Brexit. You kippers and ERGers who think we’ll leave with no deal, are deluded. They will not let it happen. They were never going to let it happen.

Brexit has been killed by a Parliament which by a two-to-one majority never wanted it, despite what lip service they paid to respecting the will of the people. The liberal elite has won. I suspect it will be its last victory before it is expunged. 

My main feeling last night was one of shame, not for my country which had the guts to vote 'LEAVE', but for the miserable, deceitful wretches in Parliament who voted by an enormous majority to give "us the people" the decision on whether or not to remain in the EU, and who then strove by every means possible to thwart our decision.  Thanks to their duplicitous efforts we are now to be bound and gagged and offered up to the 'High Priests' in Brussels for due punishment - and believe me, they will show no mercy for our act of 'betrayal'!

It guts me to say this but if I were a younger man, I would be making arrangements to get out of this country and seek freedom and independence in Australia or New Zealand.  Instead, as I approach my 80th birthday, I will comfort myself with the realisation that at least I will not have put up with the encroaching diktat of sundry foreigners for too long. 

The 'Remainers' have won the day, let them enjoy the long night to come!

 

 

Mrs. May is a born again lying liar!

My title is harsh but true.  She came back from her utterly useless trip to Brussels proclaiming that there was now a legal way out of the Irish bog in which Britain is trapped.  The next day her very own Attorney-General, Geoffrey Cox, flatly contradicted her!  The only question worth asking now is whether or not you would buy a second-hand car from this wretched woman?  She has lied, and lied and lied again over the preceding three years and it is time to clean the stables.  She must go, in fact, her entire party must go along with all the other detritus that swills about in the House of Commons.  Let them all come face to face with the electorate and let the people decide who shall be sent back.  Enough is enough!

 

 

The two great democracies skid closer and closer to the edge

Most of my readers are British and therefor require no further warnings from me concerning the enormous dangers to our hard fought and even harder won democracy.  However depressing that is, our sorrows are multiplied by the growing dangers to American democracy.  'Over here', we think - we hope? -  that Corbyn and his ultra-Marxist cabal will never gain control of Parliament.  'Over there', the extreme Leftists have already seized control of one of the two legislative chambers, the House of Representatives, and already they are busy nailing new rules onto the political agenda.  Happily, (I hope!) a combination of the Republican Senate and the Supreme Court will hold the worst of these plots in abeyance until 2020 when the voters will have a chance - a last chance? - to reset the situation.

Mr. David Catron at The American Spectator sets the scene:

It goes without saying that H.R.1 is a classic Democrat power grab that attempts to usurp the authority of the states to regulate the voter registration process. It would vitiate the accuracy of registration rolls by automatically registering anyone who acquires a driver’s license, prevent election officials from verifying voter eligibility, and render state voter ID laws null and void. H.R.1 also takes the power to draw congressional districts away from the states, and requires inclusion of illegal aliens in all redistricting plans. Moreover, it violates the 1st Amendment so brazenly that even the American Civil Liberties Union bestirred itself:

Happily, he is suffused with typical American optimism and remains confident that in 2020 the American 'peeps' will have seen exactly what the new intake of Dem politicians are up to and will put them to the sword, er, metaphorically speaking! 

In 2020 the GOP will target 50 to 60 seats held by Democrats in purple districts they narrowly won during the last two cycles. Most of those seats will flip after AOC and her fellow travelers drag the party to the far left. The voters will associate the Democrats with anti-Semitism, socialism, and illegal immigration, and they will lose the House majority again.

I do hope that he is right because if he is wrong, then we will be forced to wait for John Wayne to strap on his six-shooter and step out into the dusty street!

 

 

 

"Cry 'Havoc!', and let slip the dogs of war"

Your 'Monday Funnies' are below but the best joke of all will be in Parliament this week even if it is likely to be in the worst possible taste!  Finally, Mrs. May will be stripped of her last shreds of political camouflage and she will be left shivering on her own.  I feel no pity for her because she never displayed the slightest courage or conviction, she merely wriggled and ducked and dived in order to keep her position as Prime Minister.  She is a disgrace!

As too, of course, are the majority of our MPs who have lived down to the slimy worst of their reputations.  Three years ago they voted by an enormous majority to give us, the voters, the final verdict on whether to stay in or out of the EU.  We voted 'OUT' by a clear majority.  They have defied the will of the people and the repercussions will be enormous and dangerous and for the moment unknowable.  What a catastrophe to be 'led' by such useless, treacherous and unprincipled liars and rogues!

 

 

The Sunday Rumble: 10.3.19

'Jeremy Sanders' or 'Bernie Corbyn' - you choose!   An interesting article by Matthew Continetti at The National Review which is summarised by its title: "The Collapse of the Center-Left" (sorry, American spelling!).  In it he summarises the lurch to the extreme Left that has shifted the ground under the feet of moderate Democratic party leaders.  For once we, or to be precise, the British Labour party, beat them to it by, in a fit of utter madness, electing 'Jezza' as leader.  Happily, there is an irrefutable test by which these zealots and their poisonous beliefs may be exposed - anti-Semitism.  Not only do they not bother even to attempt to hide it, they positively ram it down your throat!  The Germans of the 1930s had some slight excuses for voting for Hitler but today's Brits and Americans have none.

 

A vintage snort-snigger moment:   The militant feminists appear to have their tits caught in their jockstraps!  The 'Trannies', that is, the ones with balls, have snuck up on them and inveigled their way into athletics.  Thus, the real ladies are doomed forever to finishing second.  I would pay good money to see Ms. Serena Williams walk on to the centre court at Wimbledon to face a 'lady' who makes her look skinny!

 

The problem for the Jews is that they are too damned intelligent!   And, 'as any fule do no', nobody likes a smart arse!  From their earliest history following the diaspora, they were smart enough to move into the money-lending trade, there being no banks around at the time.  Alas, nobody loves their bank manager from any era and thus the Jews drew down on themselves the ire of the suckers who are always and forever in the majority.  I hasten to add that, of course, not all Jews are particularly bright, it's just that on average they are brighter than most of us 'schmucks'!

 

You can never escape boring economics!   As puffed-up China and its power-mad leader, 'Xi-ping-a-ling', are beginning to find out the hard way.  All that boring-snoring stuff about debt and borrowing and money supply which, if you think yourself above it all, soon snares you.  God help the Chinese leadership if the Chinese people suddenly feel the loss of their new-found prosperity!

 

 

 

No more rumbles

 

 

 

My precious Saturday mornings

On Saturday morning I buy the Daily Telegraph, instead of reading it on the computer, as well as The Mail.  In addition, a neighbouring friend gives me the previous week's 'Saturday Review' from The Times and in return I give him my old copy of The Spectator.  If there are any Saturday morning duties to be done I make sure they are finished before eleven o'clock so that I can settle down with a mug of coffee - strong black and heavy on the sugar! - and all my newspapers.  Bliss!

Today I was particularly pleased with the Saturday Review which was cram-jammed with interesting articles.  For a start, they had a feature in which some comedian was asked for his likes and dislikes and his favourite painting was 'Portrait of Madame X' by John Singer Sargent. 

An excellent choice by a superb artist although personally I prefer several of his other paintings.

Next up was an article by Jonathan Bate, a Shakespearean 'brainiac' on the subject of Emilia Bassano, the mysterious 'dark lady of the sonnets', or is she?  Well, like just about everything else concerning that slippery country boy from Stratford, you just can't be sure of anything. 

I turned the page to the book reviews to find another mysterious dark lady, this time Wallis Simpson who nearly brought about the decline and fall of the British monarchy!  I confess to abysmal ignorance on this somewhat tawdry tale although over the years my ill-informed opinion that her eventual husband, Edward, the Duke of Windsor, was a total waste of space!  However, from the review of the book concerned, my opinion of Mrs. Simpson rose somewhat.

Turning the page and up popped a history of poor old - or actually 'poor young' - Henry VI, the almost forgotten boy/man of our regal history.  Eventually, of course, Edward IV did what was almost inevitable, and bumped him off before seizing the throne.  Next along came Richard III and we all know the end of that tale because that sly, Stratford fella' wrote a superb play telling us, more or less, what happened!

Next up was a review of a book on the subject of Ben Hecht, the famous Hollywood writer who was, I gather, "a very naughty boy" but if you live in Hollywood and you're a famous writer, what else would you be?!  Mind you, he wrote the script for "Gone with the Wind", so I forgive him - everything!

Anyway, all in all, a most satisfactory Saturday morning!

 

 

'Titania McGrath' is a 'trannie'!

Down below I mentioned the delightful Ms. 'Titania McGrath' who has made a superb effort to out-simple the late, great 'Peter Simple', satirist supreme.  Today, courtesy of Ms. Sarah Vine at The Mail, I can reveal that the lady is a man!  Why am I not surprised?

   

         Mr. Andrew Doyle                                       Miss Titania McGrath

The indominatable Sarah Vine explains it all:

"For the uninitiated, Titania Gethsemane McGrath is a radical vegan, woke poet committed to feminism, social justice and armed, peaceful protest. She works to expose racism, bigotry and misogyny. As she herself confesses: ‘I was born woke. My wokeness is innate. It flows through me like a magical elixir, keeping my soul perched and poised for the fight.’"

Courtesy of Ms. Vine's article, here are a few of 'Titania's' memorable sayings:

‘I was the only child of two barristers. I learnt only that my private education and frequent family holidays to Montenegro and the Maldives were merely a ruse by which my parents could distract me from my oppression.’

‘People are far too sentimental about the elderly,’ she writes. ‘I am no longer helping them cross the street. They opted for Brexit, so as far as I’m concerned they can take their chances with the traffic. Remember too that these are the people who fought in the second World War. How can shooting at Germans be anything other than xenophobic?’

‘If you don’t think exactly the same way as me, then you’ve clearly got a lot to learn about diversity.’

Needless to say, comments like those delivered via social media instantly attracted millions of supporters, mostly those barely out of their nappies.  

The 'perp' is Mr. Andrew Doyle, a 40-year old former private school teacher with a doctorate in early Renaissance poetry from Wadham College, Oxford and how I wish I had had a teacher like him!  Thanks to him I can announce that English wit is alive and well.

 

This would stop the 'stabbers'

Or at least, it would stop 95% of them!  And it would save considerable amounts of my, and your, money!  So, who today amongst our feeble leaders, who are always so quick to express sorrow to the parents of butchered children, will speak up and suggest that the death penalty be re-introduced?  Please, please don't hold you breath waiting !

My guess is that after the first three killers take the 'short drop', the stabbing rate will fall by 50%.  After the next three fall through the trap-door to eternity, the rate will be down by about 95%!  Will there be police and/or judicial errors?  Yes, because that is the nature of things.  However, given that carrying a knife is an admission of evil intent, I doubt that there will be too many mistakes made, and even if there are, then an enormous number of totally innocent people will be saved.

Bring back the rope!

 

 

The Tories are being stabbed to death by knife crime

In the unlikely event that you are reading this in the hope that the 'zuper brain of Zummerzet' has an answer to the bloodbath occurring on our streets - faggattaboutit!  I haven't a clue as to the best strategy to deploy, however, I have severe doubts concerning the panic re-actions of our less than glorious leaders!  For example, I suspect that pouring even more money into police (so-called) services will not achieve much except possibly to allow them to build even grander police HQs here, there and everywhere to accommodate police chiefs who are, on the whole, as thick as planks!  One only has to remember the fiascos over recent years in which 'zillions' of pounds and 'zillions' of police hours were totally wasted pursuing old 'kiddie-fiddling' stories which turned out to be rubbish!  I suspect that most police chiefs would have difficulty directing traffic on a one-way street!

I would rather see a (sort of) return to the old system when non-policemen were made Chief Constables.  Back in the day, they used to be retired generals and suchlike but perhaps today we could make use of successful retired businessmen who have some experience of running big organisations.  For a start they could take a long, hard look at the exactly how and when our police constables are deployed.  I read somewhere in The Telegraph today that in one force, 95% of the constabulary is employed in daylight hours whilst after 5.00pm there are merely a handful on duty and most of them are not on the streets!

Finally, can someone please arrange for the 'Old Bill' to nick that twerp who (allegedly) runs our armed forces and who suggested that perhaps the army could be deployed on our streets in aid of the police!  Where do they find these people?

 

 

Mon Dieu, mini-Macron tells the truth!

Anyone who still harbours sympathy for the idea of, ahem, a ' United States of Europe' should pay strict attention to the pronouncement of 'le petit empereur', Emmanuel Macron.  For a start, he wants a multi-speed Europe in which the nations of Europe will be divided into "concentric circles",  At the centre, naturellement, would be those nations who use the euro and the outer circle would be those who do not, so adieu Bulgaria, Czech Republic, Denmark, Hungary, Latvia, Lithuania, Poland, Romania, Sweden.  They will be despatched to the back of the class where they will be told to sit quietly and do as they are told!  As for the British, "Mr Macron suggests Brexit Britain could find its “true place” on a third outer ring of satellite non-EU countries with close relations to Brussels."

Of course, the question then arises as to who will lead this new, centralised Europe?  Well, that's an 'easy-peasy' question because, naturellement, according to ''le petit empereur' as reported in The Telegraph, "In his vision, some member states would be more equal than others, and France, along with Germany, would be first among equals."  I can't help wondering if he ran that past 'Mutti' Merkel before he published it across the European media?

I don't care what happens if we leave with no deal - JUST GET ME OUTTA HERE!

 

 

The rotten boroughs are back

This so-called 'conservative' government falls even further into the slough of despicable and corrupt politics.  The colossal betrayal of the 52% of the electorate who voted 'LEAVE' is going on before our eyes and the final dagger thrust will occur in the next few days.  In the meantime, the despicable Mrs. May, the consiglieri of the Tory mob, has now decided to dish out bribes to sundry towns and districts, currently represented by Labour MPs, allegedly because they have 'fallen behind' in various aspects of social and business life.  Needless to say, like crooks and conmen everywhere, she uses our money to pay the bribes, worth a billion quid, in the hope that the Labour MPs concerned will support her over the Brexit stitch-up.

Pass the sick-bag!

 

 

The Sunday Rumble: 3.3.19

How long, oh Lord, how long?   I defy anyone to claim that they guessed, back in the day, that the Brexit imbroglio would descend into the utter and complete shambles that it has.  There are many contributing factors but the main one stands clear - Mrs. May.  As an example of a total lack of leadership qualities, she stands supreme and will deserve that place in our history books.

 

Have a care, Mr. MacCulloch!  You are beginning, nay, you have begun, to irritate me!  I bought your 'yuuuuuuuuuge' biography of Thomas Cromwell who was, from my very slight knowledge, a fascinating 'ducker and diver of the first order' but in the first few chapters of your book all I read is an endless list of the scores, nay, hundreds, of individuals and organisations  with whom he was connected in one way or another.  Please, just get back to the man himself before I really lose my temper - given the price I paid for the book!

 

Oh no, Mr. Dershowitz, say it ain't so!   As regular readers will know, I am a great admirer of Mr. Alan Dershowitz, the American lawyer and political commentator.  Now there are 'tales' (I use the word deliberately) linking him to some multi-zillionaire, American businessman who is accused of organising sex parties - where was my invite? - and that one of the girls was offered to Mr. Dershowitz.  Actually, Dershowitz defended the businessman in court and it was the opposition lawyers who made the accusation.  Dershowitz was able to produce travel document evidence that proved the accusation wrong.  I would never have believed it anyway because Dershowitz is just too damned intelligent!

 

The Trump-Kim waltz:   Various commentators, pro and con, have had their say on Trump's North Korean diplomacy.  Needless to say, most of it is concerned with Trump because, of course, they haven't a clue what is going on in Pyongyang - is it Kim who rules or all those ridiculous Generals with their 'yuuuuuge' hats and acres of decorations?  There was a time when the North Korean antics were becoming exceedingly dangerous and so Trump was right to seek meetings and try and 'sus out' what was going on.  Whether he knows any more now than he did before, no-one can know, as so often, we must wait for the history books to be written!

 

The next India/Pakistan Test March should be fun!    So was that the beginning of war a few days ago or just an Indo-Paki hissy fit?  I very much hope it was the latter because 'the real thing' could be exceedingly messy given that both nations have nuclear capabilities!   Again, rather like North Korea, there are military chiefs in the background whose influence is probably far in excess of their strategic abilities!

 

In which I receive excellent good news:   Yes, indeed, the 'Memsahib' has just informed me that she is about to make a blackberry and apple crumble for supper - and, NO, you can't have any!

 

Better watch out, Donald, 'the Bern' is coming!   I keep reading reports that the American version of 'Jezza', that is Bernie Sanders, is pulling in zillions and zillions of dollars well ahead of his fight for the Democrat nomination.  Remarkably, somewhat like 'Jezza', despite being an old coot the juveniles 'jes' lurve him!'  I suppose he reminds them of their favourite, old 'Gramps'.  Maybe I should run for Parliament - oh alright then, not exactly "run" but shuffle!

 

'Fauxcahontas' scalps herself:   Well, Sen. Warren has gone from lying about her Cherokee ancestry which helped her grab a job at Harvard, to defending her claim for years, to taking a gene test which she failed, to, finally, owning up and, at last, apologising for her trickery.  Good job none of us held our breath waiting!

 

No more rumbles 

 

 

Bloody Irish and their 'bloody Sunday'

So, 47 years - I repeat - 47 years after the event, prosecutors in Northern Ireland are about to bring charges against sundry Paras who shot dead 14 demonstrators/rioters in Londonderry.  Of course, there should have been an immediate and detailed investigation into the incident at the time, preferably by a UK police service, not the military police and/or the Ulster Constabulary, and the government of the time, 'led' by the mostly useless Edward Heath, should have driven it through with real energy.  Not, I hasten to say, in order to persecute the soldiers but to determine the truth of the matter.  If, at that time, the Paras were found guilty with no evidence to provide extenuating circumstances (such as the presence at the scene of armed IRA terrorists) they should have been prosecuted and punished.

However, in our usual wet and disorganised British way (see Brexit!), the entire matter was bodged and fudged as everyone ducked and dived and sought to kick it well into the long grass.  So now we have the situation in which IRA killers were given a pass by Tony Blair and will never answer for their crimes whilst old-age, pensioner soldiers are about to be charged with murder.  If the killings are proven to have been a national disgrace, then this piece of legal vindictiveness, no doubt pushed through by Nationalist supporters now serving in the Northern Ireland Prosecution Service, is an equal judicial disgrace.

Finally, I will repeat what I have said before, that using Paras for controlling civil demonstrations was not a sensible plan.  Paras are chosen, following an exceedingly tough and testing course which most volunteers fail, on the basis of two essentials - stamina and aggression.  They are definitely not the best troops for dealing with civil unrest!

 

 

Hoorah - 'Peter Simple' has returned!

For the benefit of my confused youthful readers and my foreign readers, I should explain that 'Peter Simple' was the name of a column that used to appear regularly in The Daily Telegraph, the invention of the late, great Michael Wharton.  The aim of the exercise was mainly to ridicule the Left-wing and the pretentious with a cast of characters including, Julian Birdbath — perennially unsuccessful writer, Trevor Dimwiddie — "underwater motorcycling ace", Neville Dreadberg — avant-garde artist, Mrs Dutt-Pauker — immensely rich and privileged Hampstead socialist, admirer of Stalin and rumoured lover of the East German communist leader Walter Ulbricht, Dr Heinz Kiosk — a psychoanalyst and rentaquote pundit, Lieutenant General Sir Frederick "Tiger" Nidgett — retired commanding officer of the Royal Army Tailoring Corps, Dr Abdul Ngong Castrumba — "freelance, all-purpose revolutionary leader" and so on and on and on!  Oh God, how I miss those columns and their characters!

Anyway, all is not lost because we now have a glorious invention in the form of Ms. 'Titania McGrath', 24, who has come to the notice of Tanya Gold at The Coffee House and who reports that, "Titania is a radical intersectionalist vegan activist, feminist slam poet and the author of Woke: a Guide to Social Justice."  Yeeeeees, quite!  Anyway, she wrote her book, "Woke", because:

“I was permanently banned from Twitter for a whole day. This gave me time to reflect on my subjugation as a woman in a patriarchal world and write a book about my oppression. The entire document is a masterpiece unparalleled in the history of the written word”.

She is confident of good reviews, but she will not allow men to review Woke: “Any male who attempts to review my book will be committing a form of sexual assault”. (I hope the literary editor is reading this). She thinks men are the cause of all misery, and should wear blinkers, like horses: “They’re gruff. They’re bad-tempered. They have base sexual instincts. And they sleep standing up”.

Oh, happy days, 'Peter Simple', your spirit lives on.  Alas, from what I can gather Ms. 'Titania McGrath' mostly communicates via Twitter which is a communications system about which I know nothing!  Even so, I hope her word spreads, dammit, we need the laughs!

 

 

Theresa May approaches her Neville Chamberlain moment

I have, by and large, avoided any severe attacks on the lady who is, quite obviously, out of her depth.  Most of her adult life has been lived within the cloak of the EU and it came as a great shock to her find out that most British people realised years ago that the cloak was, in fact, a straight jacket!  Consequently, she has had absolutely no idea how to set about releasing her country from captivity.  

All the spurious arguments about 'a deal' versus 'a no deal' are now shown up to be a complete waste of time and effort because, as this blog has constantly stated, there never was going to be a deal of any sort because the EU did not, do not and will not offer one!  This was always the blindingly obvious strategy of the Brussels 'Godfathers' and nobody, least of all our Prime Minister, should have been surprised by it.  Alas, she is so very obviously dim and dumb that the oily rascals (I use the word 'oily' deliberately!) who surround her have had no difficulty in steering her round in circles.

So now the crunch moment looms large.  The political class, or at least a large segment of it, are going to 'rat us out' of what we voted for in the referendum.  The repercussions when the 52% British voters who voted 'Leave' realise they have been made fools of will be deep and powerful and where they will end us up is unknowable except, of course, that it will be a travesty of what we thought was democracy.  That is entirely proper in the circs because, of course, the EU itself is a travesty of democracy. 

I thank God, given my age, that I will not live very long through what is coming!

 

 

The perfect symbol for the European (dis)Union

The Airbus A380, that great example of the heights to be reached by the EU, just crashed!  I am grateful to the Spectator - no, no, not the London one, I mean the American Spectator, for highlighting the dismal details.  

Airbus SE announced the demise of its 380 aircraft, after 13 years in service. Launched with about $4 billion [My emphasis] in government developmental aid in 2000, the program was from the start a vanity project, intended to show Americans that Europe could build a commercial aircraft that would be bigger, faster, and better than the Boeing 747, which has been in service for 50 years. [...]

And so, a committee was struck and it was decided that the Airbus A380 project would be managed by a Franco-German team: DaimlerChrysler Aerospace, based in Hamburg, and the Lagardère Group in Toulouse. Only the team wasn’t to be integrated. Rather, there would be parallel structures of corporate officers (two CEOs, CFOs, and so on), thus ensuring strict parity as well as failure.

What could possibly go wrong?  Well, just about everything, of course, and it did - BIG TIME!  For example:

Not even the software used to construct this very complex aircraft was to be integrated, for neither Daimler nor Lagardère wanted to use the other’s software even though the two systems were incompatible. [...]

As the troubles multiplied over the following year, the Germans sent more and more mechanics to Toulouse, until they outnumbered their French counterparts by almost 2 to 1 - 1,300 to around 700.

Sacré bleu!  But never mind all that:

Airbus threw a coming-out party for the A380 that rivaled anything Hollywood might stage, replete with “strobe lights, smoke machines and chorus girls,” according to the New York Times. France’s President Chirac was there, and proclaimed that “When it takes to the skies it will carry the colors of our Continent, and our technological ambitions, to even greater heights.”

Still 'n' all, as those Yankee-doodles tend to say:

[…] the 380 was the largest airplane in the world, a double decker with 550 seats. So large in fact that airports could not accommodate it without modifying their runways and gates. So large that it became harder and harder to fill as passengers decided they’d rather take direct flights to smaller regional airports rather than having to transfer to a connecting flight at one of the major hubs.

As always in these colossal cock-ups, the only question is 'who suffers?'

In the A380 fiasco, there are two big losers. First, there is the European taxpayer when the Airbus A380 loans are forgiven, as were the Airbus’s A340’s loans after that program was canceled. In the absence of this forgiveness Airbus SE would not survive.

The other loser is Boeing. Last year the World Trade Organization ruled that Boeing had been harmed by the governmental loans granted to Airbus which violated standard commercial terms. But under the rules of the WTO, Boeing will not be recompensed, for the cancellation of programs has the practical effect of a bankruptcy, with all claims against these programs being wiped out.

Now, what's the French or German for "Jolly good show"?

 

The Sunday Rumble: 24.2.19

In which Peter Hitchens makes up my mind for me:   Dammit, there are so many things going on about which I should be able to analyse and then take a reasoned position but, dammit, I never quite get round to it!  Take this problem of Ms. Shamima Begum, for example.  Should we strip her of her British identity and leave her and her baby to rot in the 'fester-pit' which she chose, or not?  Immediately you enter a multi-handed dilemma - on the one hand this, on the other hand that until you end up turning in circles.  Thus, yet again, I am grateful to Mr. Peter Hitchens in The Mail for making up what passes for my mind for me.

If we allow politicians to strip Shamima Begum’s citizenship from her, they will get a taste for it. And so will our own, home-grown mob. And those who think they are leading mobs always end up discovering that they are, in fact, being chased by them. That never ends well.

Sorted!  Thanks, Mr. Hitchens … again.

 

You never stop learning:   And that is why I am signing on at my local Technical College for a course in 'Tapology'.  This is an unbelievably complex science but I must master it given the decrepit - 'decrapit?' - state of my waste disposal system since those 'Brainiacs' at Taunton Hospital zapped me with their 'death rays'.  I now visit sundry toilets a day - and night - and consequently wash my hands on an almost non-stop basis.  Or at least, I would if only I could get the hang of these bloody, new-fangled taps some 'smart-arse' has designed and which defy logic as to how you may extract water from them!  This morning I made use of my friend's bathroom and was faced with a beautifully sculpted tap which appeared to be totally solid.  I tried to twist it and turn it and in the end thumped it but all to no avail.  In the end, I found out that the sculpted top which made it appear solid was in fact hinged and if lifted that produced water! Grrrrrrrrrh!

 

Stand by, Master Thomas Cromwell, I am about to visit you:   I mentioned a few days ago that I was about to launch into Diarmaid MacCulloch's 'yuuuuuuuuge' history, "Thomas Cromwell: A Life".  Of course, the rest of the world has already done that and enjoyed it by reading Hilary Mantel's novels and the very successful TV series.  I avoided them, not because I doubt Ms. Mantel's skill but I am always chary of fictionalised history as opposed to real scholastic history.  You only have to check out  the historical nonsense perpetrated by that country bumpkin from Stratford to know what I mean!  Anyway, I will let you know in due course what I make of it but, given the size of it, I may be some time!

 

Joke of the day - week? - month? - year?   According to the very naughty boy who runs Zero Hedge, some satirical magazine/site 'over there' has suggested that the lying, little 'scrote' who, with the help of two hired black guys, invented an incident in which he was racially assaulted, has been offered a job by CNN "after witnessing his skills at fabricating a story entirely out of thin air."

 

Hmmmn, got that one wrong!   I vaguely remember that when Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman first appeared as the de facto leader of Saudi Arabia and indicated that he would ease the harsh rules and regulations governing the ladies of his land, I expressed some hopeful remarks that perhaps - maybe - possibly - things might change for the civilised better in that ghastly land.  Then he slaughtered that dodgy Saudi correspondent, and yesterday, on a visit to China, he offered some mitigating excuses for the fact that the Chinese government had imprisoned millions of Uighur Muslims and slaughtered thousands of them.  With a friend and co-religionist like that, who needs enemies?!

 

No more rumbles 

 

The final sacrifice of ten real American heroes remembered

Tony Foulds was only 8 years old in 1944 and, like most days he was playing football with his pals on a stretch of parkland when a badly damaged USAAF bomber, seeking somewhere to land with safety, swerved away from the field occupied by the boys and instead crashed into some trees killing all ten members of the crew - but saving the lives of the boys.  Ever since, Tony Foulds has carefully tended a memorial he set up in memory of the men who perished.

Yesterday was the 75th anniversary in recognition of which, thousands of people turned out to watch a memorial flypast by British and American aircraft.

From The Daily Mail report:

"The pensioner who broke down in tears after thousands joined him for a flypast in memory of ten Second World War heroes whose plane crashed to avoid him has gone back to his day job attending the memorial in their honour."

In many ways, it's a shitty old world but there are some golden moments.

 

 

A trio of Tory traitors!

Please note the irony warning sign at the end of my title.  Yes, the three ladies, Anna Soubry, Heidi Allen and Sarah Wollaston, are 'traitors' but only to their own former political party, so it's hardly a hanging offence.  Also, it was a slight relief that Ms. Soubry managed to wipe the usual scowl off her face and even managed a smile or two.  Her majority at the last election was a mere 863 so she faces "interesting times" in the near future!

Alas, this Brexit show has run and run and run for far too long.  It has opened up a huge fissure across the country but I suspect that if it wasn't Brexit it would be something else.  Politically we have suffered, or perhaps lazed is a better word, in a sort of 'never-never-land' where, despite the silly squabbles in Parliament, nothing really mattered that much.  Of course, 'Remainers' will have it that we were slowly and steadily advancing towards a new European dawn.  Brexiteers, on the other hand, could see the reality that in fact we were shrinking to become a vassal state under German rule.  Something had to give!

There is a small part of me that almost hopes for another referendum because I feel in my bones that the result would be an even greater majority to be rid of the Fourth Reich and the Brussels dictatorship.

 

 

Labour step over the edge but will the Tories follow?

First, let me salute those seven Labour MPs who have decided that the stench from a rotten, festering Labour party is now more than they can tolerate.  The unpalatable fact for them, as well as many non-Labour observers, is that the often silly but decent, democratic socialist party that was once Labour, has now fallen under the control of evil men and women.  I stress the word 'evil' because it is the only suitable word to describe the leadership of a party that is now both virulently anti-Semitic and fundamentally undemocratic.  If the likes of the terrorist-admiring John MacDonnell now control the party it must be destroyed and hopefully this will be the start.

Meantime, in the 'blue corner', the Tories remain riven over Brexit.  Not surprising, of course, because it is a matter of deep conviction even if the convictions often arise more from emotion than thoughtful analysis.  It remains unknown whether in these last few tense weeks the party will split in any fundamental way.  I hope not because with Labour disintegrating from the inside, this is the Tories' chance to rule for another 20 years.

 

 

Time to court-martial our Sec. of (non)Defence

Some time ago I indicated my impression that Mr. Gavin Williamson, our (alleged) Minister of Defence, was a total tit.  This impression is now confirmed as an absolute fact by the, er, 'total tit' himself!  Yesterday he declared war on China.  'Just like that', as the great comedian Tommy Cooper was wont to say.  This latter-day Nelson was intent on sailing our one and only aircraft carrier with its American aircraft up and down the South China Sea and dare those damned 'Chinks' to come out and fight!  When they have recovered from falling about helpless with laughter they might oblige and provide 'Admiral' Williamson with a lesson in reality, unlike the imaginary world he inhabits based on his childhood collection of Hornblower books!

Sometimes - well, no, actually, fairly often now! - I wonder where they find these colossal idiots to fill our once high offices of state?  Of course, a moment's thought tells me that there are several hundred of them in Parliament, so there are plenty to choose from.  If we rid ourselves of this juvenile prat there will be a host of others to take his place and maintain the abysmally low standards of Acting Petty Officer Williamson.  According to reports, he is intent on becoming leader of the Conservative party and should that unmitigated disaster occur I may have to seek refuge in the EU!