DUFF & NONSENSE!

The Sunday Rumble: 15.01.20

Hey, schmuks, don't mess with Her Maj!   I haven't read the details - life is short and getting shorter! - but from the commentary it looks as though H&M have been handed their arses on silver salver!  Meghan will not care, she is, after all, a grovelling subject of the Hollywood dynasty - good luck with that one!  Harry will probably feel the self-inflicted wounds as time goes on.  My totally clueless guess is that Meghan's mini-career prospects will gradually wither along with her relationship with Harry and the pair of them will shuffle off into the twilight of obscurity.  I hope I'm wrong, I usually am!

 

With apologies to Matt and the DT:

 

Make Meghan's dad a Duke!   Thomas Markle appears to have more common-sense in the finger he uses to yank open a can of beer than his dippy daughter has in her entire body!  Give him a seat in the House of Lords! 

 

Lord Bercow? Pass the sick bag - quick!   According to reports, 'Jezza' Corbyn, as leader of the opposition, is considering offering Bercow a seat in the Lords.  Presumably he will sit as a Labour peer thus reducing even further the opinion of the dreaded 'Peeps' as to the worthiness of the Labour party.  'Good thinking', Jezza, that should improve your chances at the next election - NOT!

 

Off out for lunch:   Er, with the Memsahib, of course, at The White Post restaurant.  Good grub and superb views across 'Zummerzet'.  Back later . .

 

Sent to me by a friend:  Whose head will surely be chopped off in the Tower!

I'm shocked, I tell you, shocked!

 

More rumbles later . . .

 

 

 

First France, now Germany!

A couple of days ago I wrote a sympathetic post on the rising discontent in France under the, er, charismatic leadership of mini-Macron.  Today I read in The Telegraph that Germany - you know, the powerhouse of Europe - is experiencing a fairly hefty economic decline!  Smile?  Me?  Absolutely not although I confess to the smallest of sniggers when I recall all those 'wiseacres' who warned that Britain would face economic catastrophe if we pressed ahead with leaving the EU! 

Of course, I do not want to see a Europe in decline.  We need prosperous neighbours and not just for trade relations.  Impoverished countries tend to take to the streets to solve their problems and that, of course, never works.  Mind you, if it drives the British economy to look further than just across the Channel and the North Sea, that could be helpful.  After decades of self-induced subjugation to Brussels, now is the time for Britain to look world-wide.

 

 

'Who are we'? The enemy, 'stoopid'!

The former head of MI6 warned of the danger of allowing the Chinese company Huawei (Sole Prop. the Chinese government!) to gain access to our communications networks.  The Head of MI5, on the hand, says that 'there is nothing to see here move along'!  As an ex-Corporal in that well-known oxymoron, Army Intelligence, I would venture to suggest that allowing the Chinese, in any form, within spitting distance of our critical and strategic networks is either madness or treachery!

Get a grip, Boris!

His death is truly a loss

I refer to the late Sir Roger Scruton whose death has just been announced.  I can't claim to be an expert on all of his writings which were prodigious but when I came across him back in the '80s when I was a subscriber to the Salisbury Review, I instantly recognised a ferocious intelligence and intellect which seemed to become keener as he grew older.  Alas, today a brilliant light has been extinguished.

Douglas Murray - who better? - has written an excellent summary of Sir Roger's life over at the Coffee House.  It is well worth a read.

The Sunday Rumble 12.1.20

In which Peter Hitchens agrees - with me!   Well, obviously, that is a whopping great misdirection - or lie, if you prefer! - but I can with accuracy say that in his column today he repeats sentiments expressed by me a few days ago.  I expressed my hope that Labour would succeed in ridding itself of the ignorant loonies who infiltrated it and then took it over completely.  It is critically important because, like every other democracy, we need a functioning opposition, never more so than now when we have a government run by the, er, eccentric 'Boris & Dom' team.  Get a grip Labour and get your act back together!

 

Poor Harry, the Prince who chose exile:   Or, to be more accurate, perhaps, the Prince who was nagged into exile!  Alas, I fear an Edward/Wallis Simpson future for him.  On the surface, no doubt, it will be very exotic as he and Meghan 'cruise' the 'sleb' circuit, well, to begin with, anyway. But "that old common arbitrator Time/ Will one day end it".  Looks and youth will fade, money will shrink, invitations will wither; new, fresher, younger 'slebs' will capture the headlines and then the dread question will be asked - "Meghan who?"

 

More Hitchens!    And no, I am not apologising because he is a writer I much admire.  Today, in The Mail, he demands to know what has happened to the film "An Officer And A Spy" based on the superb novel by Robert Harris which detailed the disgusting campaign which eventually brought down Alfred Dreyfus, a totally innocent French army officer who just happened to be Jewish.  The film won 'yuuuuuge' plaudits when released but then more or less disappeared.  Mr. Hitchens suggests that the fact that it was directed by Roman Polanski, a self-confessed paedophile, is the main reason for its banishment from our screens but he also points out that if we are to be denied access to artistic creations simply on the basis of the artists' disgusting behaviour then we will lose a lot;

If so, what should the BBC do about the sculptures by Eric Gill, which adorn its London HQ? Gill’s sexual crimes were so horrible that I will only say they included incest.

As for the much admired surrealist painter Salvador Dali, his private life (by his own account) was cruel and disgusting beyond belief. Should his pictures be removed from the world’s galleries?

Whilst we wait for commonsense to apply, read Harris's book - it is superb!

 

Taki is still a very naughty boy!   As I keep telling you every time I mention his name.  To be fair, this time it is one of the writers at his magazine who is the naughty one.  I refer to Mr. Jim Goad (No, me neither!) who has provided us all with his choice of the 19 most annoying people of 2019.  To give you the flavour, this is his view of #1: Pete Buttigieg, a 'wannabe' Presidential candidate:

1. PETE BUTTIGIEG
Hey, it’s “Mayor Pete”! He’s the first millennial homosexual mayor ever to make a serious bid for a major party’s nomination. He has never had an original idea in his life, and the only reason he’s gained any traction is because he’s an anus-nuzzling bone-polisher. Blacks don’t like him, Hispanics don’t like him, and radical homos think he’s too boring. Whenever this smarmy little vole starts pontificating about some policy issue or another, all the entire world can think about is that later tonight, he’ll be batting around his husband’s testicles as if they were ping-pong balls and his tongue was a paddle.

Er, well, yes, if you say so Mr. Goad!

 

Look but don't touch!   There is a very 'swotty' article in The Telegraph which suggests that just looking at something alters its state of being.  This might help to explain it for y'all.  

 

Oh, come along, do buck up, it's all very simple really. If you are not sure whether something is a particle or a wave, just look at it!  See?  That quantum physics is dead easy, really!

 

Sound the trumpets, beat the drums!   It looks as though ex-Cpl. Duff might be re-joining the Colours.  Apparently, our (so-called) Ministry of Defence has let it be known that they wish to attract old soldiers back to military service.  They are desperately short of recruits, mainly, I guess, because the delicate youngsters of today are failing to volunteer.  Anyway, I stand ready to return, er, just so long as someone can give me a hand with my back-pack, allow me time for a nap in the afternoon and bring me a hot cocoa at bedtime.

 

No more rumbles

 

 

Thank you, Meghan, and don't slam the door on your way out!

God, what a relief it has been whilst 'H&M' have been away in Canada!  For a while the newspapers have been informing us of news - real news! - rather than the latest fashion accessories sported by Meghan.  To be fair, whilst she is, of course, a publicity-seeking (at a price?) operator the excessive 'meeja' coverage was not entirely her fault.  The dim, dumb, British public dribble at any gossip concerning those two and 'the dandruff-ridden hacks of Fleet Street' are only two pleased to serve it up.  And, of course, they will continue to do so because if 'H&M' seriously believe that they will now be left alone to pick and choose their own carefully crafted publicity they are in for a surprise!

 

 

The Sunday Rumble: 5.1.20

Both here and 'over there' the Left is loony:   I have been struck by the Left-wing re-action to Trump's decision to assassinate a man whose entire career has been dedicated to ferocious and murderous campaigns against America's allies and who was planning to extend this ferocity on to Americans as well.  The plan was, er, 'executed' immaculately!  Cue: the Democratic party dissolving into mass wailing and gnashing of teeth.  How odd that when the previous President did more or less exactly the same, it was 'all hail, Obama'!  It is obviously an example of the new colour problem evolving 'over there'; Black Good/Ginger Bad!

 

Meanwhile, 'over here' we can enjoy our Labour loonies:   This morning my TV screen has been filled with 'wannabe' hopefuls desperate to be the new leader of the LMP - the Labour Marxist Party.  I almost yearned for 'Jezza' to come back because this lot were the dimmest, dumbest collection of dimwits I have seen and listened to since, er, well, the election, actually, in which the MLP were as close to annihilation as you can be in a general election.  We all make mistakes but to keep on repeating the same mistakes defies definition.

 

'Anything Republicans do, Democrats do worser'!   Yes, America has its problems and according to the Democrat party it is all the fault of the Republicans in general and Trump in particular.  And yet … and yet … even a quick glance at those 'yuuuuuuuuge' cities that have been completely controlled by the Dems for decades, like 'Noo Yawk' or Chicago or Baltimore will show utter corruption, filth, poverty and conditions which are more fourth, or fifth world than third world!  Which would you rather live in - Calcutta or Baltimore?

 

I hope Boris has plenty of axes:   Well, first of all there is the BBC who need to be decapitated immediately, or at least, have the tax-payers' teat ripped from its greedy mouth!  Then there is this ludicrous HS2 rail system which, allegedly, will get you from London to Manchester eight minutes quicker even if it cost zillions of tax-payers' money.  Apart from the obvious question in this 'whizzy-do' electronic world we live in - who the hell wants to go to Manchester in the first place? - we all know for a dead cert that whatever the budget is today, it will be a fraction of the total cost in the end.  Get chopping, Boris!

 

Aussie news is lost in the smoke and flames!   The Australian, continent-wide fire is a colossal disaster quite beyond my British imagination!  I simply can't get my head around it!  And today I hear that it is likely to go on for months!  Of course, eventually it will end and then, I hope, a full scientific enquiry needs to take place because I suspect that management of the countryside has been a major factor.  Don't let the 'Greenies' and the 'Warmers' influence matters because they will ignore the science and simply chant out their 'religious' beliefs.  In the meantime, if any of my Aussie pals know of any proper fund-raising schemes to help support the distressed and the fire-fighters please let me know.  I want to contribute something and I guess many of my readers feel the same.

 

No more Rumbles 

 

 

 

Who would want the worst political job in the world?

Well, they're queuing up, apparently!  I refer to the vacancy left by the 'execution' of that ineffable idiot, Jeremy Corbyn, hitherto the (alleged) leader of the Labour party.  Why anyone would volunteer to enter that pit of roiling snakes and loonies beats me but - hey! - that's politics for you!  If another mouth-dribbling Leftie wins then he or she can look forward to at least another ten years of electoral contempt and defeat.  If, on the other hand, a soft Leftie wins then they can expect a never ending hail of stones and rocks from the Marxist 'mouth-dribblers' who will shriek "Traitor!" at every opportunity.

Of course, if the 'il-Lib-non-Dems', or what is left of them, had more than three brain cells they would mount an enormous subversion campaign aimed at stripping the Labour party of its semi-sensible adherents and forming a new Left of Centre grouping that would offer intelligent policies aimed at providing what the dreaded 'Peeps' want rather than the sort of material over which your average University student masturbates!

In the meantime, of course, Boris (and Dom) will bumble on and we must all hope that they avoid any major pile-ups because, at present, they are the only government we have!  HOODATHUNKIT?

 

 

 

Don't mess with 'The Donald'!

My only surprise at the news that President Trump had, in effect, just assassinated the Deputy 'President' of Iran was how long it took him to act!  For the last three years we have been under an endless stream of 'meeja agit-prop' to the effect that Trump was a trigger-happy looney who would start WWIII.  During those three years America has been the target for endless direct or indirect attacks of various kinds from Iran and its Islamic fanatical leadership.  The assault on the American embassy in Iraq was the final straw.

One immediate effect will be to concentrate what passes for the minds of those Iranian 'loonies' who 'strut their hour upon the stage' seemingly in the belief that they are invulnerable.  Not, of course, that that will change their ambitions but in future they will be wise to pick their targets more carefully - US embassies are best avoided!  Of course, what they are likely to do is switch their venom from America to friends of America.  Israel, of course, is well able to look after itself and the Iranians have never had any doubts as to the sort of response they can expect from that direction.  I just hope Boris and his acolytes are able to grip what passes these days for the British military(!) and ensure a suitably swift and murderous response to any future Iranian excesses.

In the meantime, I will congratulate 'The Donald' on an immaculate action which would have reduced his predecessor to tears and trembles had he - God forfend! - been in command!  Yes, there will be troubles ahead - so no change there then!

 

 

Whisper who dares but I feel just a teensy-weensy bit optimistic!

Mostly at the start of any New Year, my main feeling is one of cautious pessimism but this year I have, if not optimism, then at least a small portion of, dare I say, cheerfulness!  Above and beyond all else is the enormous sense of relief that we are now poised to exit that wretched European Union.  Not that I wish my European neighbours ill - well, not most of them! - but it is the sense of freedom that we no longer live under the threat of those Eurocratic imbeciles whose personal ambitions and desire for ever more power eventually drove us Brits away.  And what a proud moment that was when an independent-minded British people decided that enough was enough and made for the exit.  Not the least of my mouth-watering pleasures has been watching the extinction of so many 'Remainer' creeps like the insufferably superior Dominic Grieve.  Bye-by, Dom baby, don't hurry back!  To add icing to our cake, those same sensible Brits voted to destroy Jeremy Corbyn and his gang of mouth-dribbling Marxists.  No doubt Boris will make his blunders but they will be as nothing compared to the wreckage that Corbyn's loonies would have inflicted on us.

Yes, there will be troubles ahead - there always are! - but at least the decks have been cleared for action, so go for it, Boris (and Dom), it's your decade!

 

 

The Sunday Rumble: 29.12.19

Whither the House of Windsor?  The 'Heffalump' has an interesting article in The Telegraph today on the subject of the Royal family and its future.  As 'Her Maj' put it in her Xmas speech, it has been "a bumpy year" for the Windsors.  Andrew has been a prat - so no surprise there, then! - and Harry has married an American 'wannabe diva' who obviously detests all things British and much prefers the, er, 'high society' of Hollywood.  I don't altogether blame her for that but I suspect that 'Prince' Harry will eventually tire of it all.  Never mind, Charles stands ready, indeed, probably tapping his foot in frustration, to ascend the throne and hopefully his dottiness will be accepted by his subjects over time.  Let us all thank God that behind Charles stand William and Kate (and Kate's mother!), quite possibly the most sensible family unit in the entire Royal hierarchy!

 

Better watch out, BBC, the axeman cometh!   Yesterday, Mr. Charles Moore, he of the world's greatest magazine, The Spectator, was granted the role of editor on the BBC's morning agit-prop programme, "Today".  His report on the experience is well worth reading particularly the difficulties put in his way to stop him inviting in a 'global warming' sceptic for an interview.  Rumour has it that the swivel-eyed 'Greenie', Roger Harrabin, who purports to be the BBC Environmental Editor, was not amused!  Come on, Boris - and Dominic! - don't hang about, chop them off at the knees and let the BBC earn its living in the real world!

 

And it may be Douglas Murray wielding the axe!   As you may have gathered after several admiring mentions on this blog, I am a devoted admirer of Mr. Murray and his works.  Not least his latest article in today's Mail in which he hopes, and perhaps even prays, that the era of 'woke' dictatorship will end in 2020.  Alas, I fear that too many non-celebrities desperate for celebrity will keep the fires burning and continue to throw sensible people on them.  Still, a man may hope, may he not?

 

"The top ten most influential books of all time":   That is the courageous title of an article at The American Spectator written by Larry Alex Taunton.  I will leave y'all to judge his judgment but it prodded me into wondering which books have been the most influential on me?  Tricky one, that!  I suppose it boils down to which books have remained in my memory over the past 80 years?  Well, one in particular has never left it - "The White Company" by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.  It was the first book given to us in my first term at Grammar School - and whilst I am shaky on the details, the essence of it has never left me.  It demonstrated courage in war but also benevolence.  A terrific read for any young lad.

 

"First Things" first!   I have just read a book review by Peter Hitchens, alas written in July - my bad! - on the prickly, tricky subject of Benjamin Netanyahu.  Needless to say, Hitchens' views are always worth reading on almost any subject.  However, this particular review was published by a totally new site to me - "First Things".  Intrigued, I checked out the site - and instantly subscribed to it!  I would urge y'all to do the same!  Yes, at first glance it appears to have a religious bent but they don't shove it down your throat - and if they publish Hitchens then they can't be all bad, can they?

 

No more rumbles today

 

 

 

"Shurely shome mishtake here!"

Can't think what is going on in 'Buck House' these days!  Today they published the New Year's Honours List - and I'm not on it!  I assumed, when no letter was forthcoming from 'Her Maj', that our useless Postal Service had lost it but not so, apparently.  I blame the snidey little creeps who surround her  and who, I guess, have failed to read any of the stream of wisdom that emanates from this blog!  (Or perhaps they did!)

It is a sign of their total incompetence that they managed to give a Damehood to Ms. Alison Pearson, generally reckoned to be the most useless, incompetent Director of (non)Prosecutions ever!  Mind you, whether by accident or design, they did manage to get one thing absolutely right - they totally ignored that gurning, self-important prat, John Bercow, despite his (and his wife's, I guess) absolute expectation that he would be made a Lord of the Realm.  Sorry, 'Bercers', old chap, you're still a plain, old 'Mr'!

 

 

The evisceration of Lord Adonis

There are some people on the fringes of politics - and many of them at the heart, too! - who achieve very little except raise the contempt and irritation levels of, er, well, me, actually!  Lord Adonis is such a one.  He has been a limpet-like hanger-on to the coat-tails of the Labour party for too many years but now he has actually decided to embrace them! 

Part of what maintained a discreet distance between his Lordship and Comrade Corbyn was his Lordship's deep and abiding love for the EU.  For many a year he has fought vigorously and loudly against Brexit whilst Corbyn, of course, shuffled slowly and carefully along as neutral a path as he could manage, being neither pro-Brexit nor anti-Brexit.  Even so, beneath all his Lordship's ferocious anti-Brexiteering, there lay a deep and abiding desire for elected office.  According to Alex Massie writing on the CAPX site,  Corbyn has granted him his wish and offered him the chance to stand for a seat in the European parliament:

Having gained a place on Labour’s candidate list for next month’s vote, Adonis released a statement of extraordinary hilarity: “In our dangerously divided society, Labour is the only political party seeking to bring remain and leave voters together so that we can get on with the job of ensuring our country works for the many, not the few.”

Labour, you see, “has always been clear that it respects the result of the referendum. What we do not respect is the way the Conservatives have sought to use Brexit to create a more unequal economy and a harsher society”. Tory Brexit bad; Labour Brexit good. “That is why Labour has put forward a sensible alternative plan that would ensure a close economic relationship with the EU after Brexit.”

The stench of over-ripe humbug is overwhelming!

 

 

 

For us - and them - the war is just beginning

I had intended to provide Boris with a warning to the effect that he should not expect even a millimetre of 'give' from the 'consiglieres' of Brussels but instead he should prepare for totally intransigent 'take'!  That is the way they do things 'just over there', as I kept telling that silly woman who thought that matters could be settled 'nicely-nicely' after tea at the vicarage!  (I wonder what happened to her?)

So I trust that 'Biffa' Boris is well into training before his heavy-weight fight with the 'consiglieres' next year.  Once again, they will give nothing - nada! - rien! - zilch!  I don't altogether blame them, after all, it is we Brits who are spoiling their tea-party, so why should they?  According to reports  - yeeeeees, quite! - Boris, perhaps with a little help from his friend and trainer, Dominic Cummings, is telling the EU that Britain has no intention of 'kowtow-ing' to their demand for automatic acceptance of EU 'rules 'n' regs'.  That should set the talks off to a frigid start!

Even so, given the mountains of 'wiffle-waffle' the Europeans would love to drown us in, it is perhaps best to start with a clear table and with each party knowing the basic position of the other.  Thus, if no agreement is possible then it's off to a Free Trade world on WTO standards. HURRAH!

 

 

I know it's a 'Boris Xmas' but why am I worried?

Well, it's no good me scorning and scolding 'Jezza' and his 'polit-bureau' for promising to spend money like a drunken sailor - er, no offence intended JK!  - if I then croon and swoon when Boris comes in and promises to do exactly the same!  Yes, indeed, there are some 'yuuuuuuuge' infrastructure projects that may be required in different parts of the country but - 'as any fule do no!' - politicians are the very worst at choosing which ones.  Also, of course, the 'yuuuuuuuge' infrastructure builders do not give a flying fig what happens where because they will be pocketing the tax-payers' cash as fast as they can.  Master Dominic Cummings, the Guru in Chief to Boris, is a very clever and imaginative fellow but do I trust his judgment - entirely?

We need to remember that the 'MLP', the new 'Marxist Labour Party' of Britian, is not dead and buried.  Electorally, it is as dead as the Dodo but it still exists, it breathes, it imagines and it plans from its still substantial base inside the husk of the old Labour Party.  One of the priorities for 'Boris and Co' is to make absolutely sure that they spend our money wisely and well.  Even more so when one considers that much of it will be borrowed and not necessarilly from sources friendly to this country!

I know, I know, you're thinking, "Oh ye of little faith" and you're right, I do not have much faith because I have been through all this borrowing and spending and indebtedness before - in fact, I'm still paying for it via my taxes!  So box clever, Boris, and remember Kipling's wise advice: "Softly, softly catchee monkey!"

 

 

 

R.I.P. General Sir Thomas Pearson, 1914-2019

Do the sums and you will see that this extraordinary soldier, General Sir Thomas Pearson, lived through an impressive and highly dangerous 105 years!  Apart from being an exceedingly competent officer, he was also, dammit, exceedingly handsome!

A portrait of Pearson by Dorothy Wilding on his commission into the Rifle Brigade

His WWII record, in which he served with the Paras, was, shall we say, 'interesting'!  But his post-war record also included participation in various potential hot-spots.  This incident seems fairly typical and it was with some wry amusement that I noticed that he was accompanied by Anthony Farrar-Hockley who a few years later was my Colonel:

In April 1957 there was an attempted military coup in Jordan. The Brigade was in a tented camp in Cyprus and was scrambled at short notice to fly to Amman. When Israel denied overflying rights, all the aircraft were ordered to return.

Brigadier Pearson, however, with a nod to Nelson, reported that his radio had malfunctioned and flew on alone to Amman. After the Beverley [transport aircraft] landed at the airfield, an anti-tank gun was unloaded. Pearson and Anthony Farrar-Hockley called for a table and chairs and were watched by a large, restive crowd while, with every appearance of sangfroid, they sipped their gin and tonics.

The operation could have turned out badly, but the use of bluff, moral force and the threat of reinforcements on the way deterred the rebels and played a notable part in putting an end to the uprising and preserving King Hussein’s rule.

Four years later, I was Col. Farrar-Hockley's radio operator so I am even more thankful that I never saw active service with him!  Anyway, it is worth reading the Telegraph obit in full to learn what an incredible soldier Gen. Pearson was.  

Sir, I salute you!

 

 

An excellent time to give Turkey a roasting

Increasingly over recent times I have been mildly irritated with Turkey and its boorish, truculent leader.  Also, like others I have come across in the 'meeja', I have wondered whether it is sensible to have Turkey as an ally?  It is, of course, a member of NATO and as such we would be obliged to rush to its assistance were it to be attacked.  Is the life of a single British soldier worth sacrificing to keep this hectoring bully in office?  Given Turkey's geo-political position, I am not saying that it has less than considerable value to us in the West but there is, or there must be, a limit.  In my opinion, Erdogan is moving ever-closer to that limit, in fact, I would not be surprised, given the blandishments from Moscow, if he didn't walk before he is pushed!

 

 

Not quite 'the classless society' but nearly!

Has anyone seen 'the working class' recently?  Poor, old 'Jezza' would dearly like to know if you have because he's lost his!  It's a bit like that old TV comedy show which used a posh chap in a bowler, an ordinary bloke in a raincoat and an 'oik' in a cloth cap to represent the upper, middle and working classes.  Problem today is that the working-class has disappeared - as 'Jezza' just found out the hard way!  The fact is that we're all middle-class now, even the old style upper-class has disappeared, replaced by successful 'oiks' who, by fair means or foul, have made 'loadsa dosh'!'

The political implications of this subtle and gradual 'revolution' are immense.  Suddenly, all that Marxist twaddle is reduced to the incoherent garbage it always was.  Today, we don't just yearn for more wealth, we are more anxious to protect the wealth we already have!  Quite literally, we have become a nation of, dare I say, small-c capitalists. 

We're all 'bourgeois' now!  'Vive, er, la revolution'!

 

 

The beginning of 'King' Boris's reign!

Now that the first flush of utter gob-smacked astonishment is wearing off, there is perhaps time to contemplate what might happen over the next ten years - and yes, I did write "ten years" because I suspect it could take that long for Labour to decide exactly what sort of a political party they are.  In the meantime, 'King' Boris rules and does so easily and comfortably given his 'yuuuuuuuuuuge' Parliamentary majority.  

Of course, I hope he takes a swipe at the BBC by, in effect, selling it off to the highest private bidder.  At a stroke he will save every family in the land £154 a year.  Cheers, Boris, drinks are on me!  I gather that plans are already afoot to give Whitehall a massive shake-up and if that results in far fewer ink-stained clerks sitting at their desks pushing pieces of paper round in circles then that will bring joy to my heart.  Also, the virtual erasing of the Dept. for Foreign Aid/Bribes would give me a warm glow!

And whilst he is scything his way down Whitehall, I do hope very much that he does not forget to look in on the Ministry of Defence which is, of course, merely an interim rest home for superannuated Generals, Admirals and Air Marshalls most of whom, judged by the past, are utterly useless!

But, above and beyond all else, Brexit is now on the last lap and by next Christmas we will be out, no ifs, no buts, no maybes - OUT!  I am not usually a man who praises his own country's virtues, possibly because I know from history that we have plenty of sins to answer for.  Even so, it took a lot of quiet, determined courage for the British people to take that monumental decision and I admire them for it.  There will be troubles ahead - there always are! - but I think we have what it takes to master them.

So, go Boris, go!

 

 

 

The Sunday Rumble: 15.12.19

Where to begin?   That, I suspect, is what Boris must be asking himself.  Fortunately, he has a small coterie of 'smart-arse' advisors around him who seem capable of thinking 'outside the box'.  According to the 'meeja' this morning, high on the list is the smug, metropolitan, Left-wing BBC.  Apparently, Boris & Co., have it as a priority.  Goody!  Now those smug, fat-arsed mandarins who have lived off my legally enforced licence fee will have to learn how to make a living out in a rough, tough and highly competitive market place.  Couldn't happen to a nicer bunch of 'toss-pots'!

 

Next up, the civil (non)service:  Another 'yuuuuuuuuuuge' 'blob' that needs a major prune and re-organisation - starting with the Foreign Bribery Aid Department!  

 

A very English revolution:   No riots, no firing squads, no mass round-ups, no beheadings as we used to do back in the, er, 'good old days'!  No, this time, the usually lethargic, 'lumpen proletariat' who are much more interested in the City vs. United 'footie' match declared that enough was enough and decided to make their feelings plain.  With one massive heave, they sent a loud and clear message to the elderly Trot-lot' mouth-dribblers as well as to the incoherent juvenile 'squeakers' that enough was definitely more than enough.  In a very different context, Oliver Cromwell said it best in 1653:

It is high time for me to put an end to your sitting in this place, which you have dishonored by your contempt of all virtue, and defiled by your practice of every vice; ye are a factious crew, and enemies to all good government; ye are a pack of mercenary wretches, and would like Esau sell your country for a mess of pottage, and like Judas betray your God for a few pieces of money.
Is there a single virtue now remaining amongst you? Is there one vice you do not possess? Ye have no more religion than my horse; gold is your God; which of you have not barter’d your conscience for bribes? Is there a man amongst you that has the least care for the good of the Commonwealth?
Ye sordid prostitutes have you not defil’d this sacred place, and turn’d the Lord’s temple into a den of thieves, by your immoral principles and wicked practices? Ye are grown intolerably odious to the whole nation; you were deputed here by the people to get grievances redress’d, are yourselves gone! So! Take away that shining bauble there, and lock up the doors.
In the name of God, go!”

 

The 'Yerdie-derdi-burbles' are in trouble:   I refer, of course, to the Swedish people who threw open their doors to anyone and everyone from anywhere.  Consequently, violent crime has escalated to heights not seen before in peaceful Sweden.  According to Zero Hedge, this was mainly due to "Frederik Reinfeldt -- prime minister of Sweden from 2006 to 2014 and chairman of the Moderate Party from 2003 to 2015 -- urged Swedes in 2014 to "Open your hearts" to the refugees of the world."  The stupidity of politicians knows no bounds!

 

Mind you, Sky News, is not much better than the BBC:   For some time now I have become increasingly irritated with Sky News of whom I was once a big fan.  Their anti-Brexit stance has become ever more clear so it was no surprise to see that they actually paid that capering, malevolent monkey, John Bercow, £60k to appear on their news coverage of the election.  He is the most heartily despised man in British politics so one has to ask what world the over-paid Sky News execs inhabit?  Mind you, I am not too keen some of the regulars, like fat, bland and boring, Adam Boulton; and 'snippy-snappy' Kay Burley whose opinion of herself is swollen  to dangerously excessive levels.

 

The Jocks are coming, the Jocks are coming:   Being a semi-Jock myself, I could put up with that but unfortunately they will be led by 'Mrs. MacWhinge' whose voice could cut sheet steel!  There is no easy solution to the 'Jock' problem.  The notion of independence from England is obviously intoxicating - and no-one does intoxication better than the 'Jocks'!   Ear plugs urgently required!

 

Still 'n' all, we can enjoy the coming Labour bloodbath:   And it will go on and on and on and then on some more!  It's a pity, really, because I do not like a totally one-sided parliament but, alas, Labour have let themselves in for this and it is essential that the moderates put the extremists to the sword.

 

Before you start splurging, Boris:   Please remember it is our money, not yours!  Yes, of course, you need to reward all those former Labourites 'ooop north' who finally saw 'the bleedin' obvious', that 'Jezza' Corbyn and his, er, 'comrades' were a bunch of dangerous but dribbling nutters.  Even so, have a care for the Exchequer and the dupes who fill it up!

 

 

No more rumbles today

 

 

 

Happy Christmas - you betcha'!

This is going to be my happiest, merriest Christmas in decades!  Alas, today I have a raging, raw, sore throat - perhaps from all my cheering during Thursday night!  Consequently, being something of a wet wimp, my energy levels are lower than usual, so I will allow the excellent - and very attractive! - Ms. Allison Pearson of The Daily Telegraph to put my feelings into words far more elegantly than I ever could:

God, I love this country. There we were on Thursday afternoon with a sick dread roiling around our stomachs. The worst butterflies since exam results. Clutching at straws – or straw polls anyway. Unable to sleep peacefully until all was well on Friday morning (it’s going to be alright, isn’t it?) Pictures on the news of Gordon Brown and Ed Miliband made you nostalgic for a time when a Labour victory might mean you’d be a bit sad not downright terrified.

[…]

The thought of Jews with their bags packed, ready to flee. The thought of a man who loves hate preachers getting the keys to Number 10. The thought of our children and grandchildren being indoctrinated in the Marxists’ mirthless creed. It was awful, awful. As the Chief Rabbi warned, “The very soul of the nation is at risk.”

And then she finishes with a list of 'NOs' aimed at 'Jezza' and his collection of dim, dumb, juvenile 'revolutionaries' of whom even Lenin would have been ashamed:  [With my emphasis]

Well, the Remainers said they wanted a People’s Vote and they bloody well got one. And the people, they said, No:

No to that insufferably arrogant Remainer Parliament blocking the referendum result because they knew better.

No to Gina “Who the hell does she think she is?” Miller and her insufferable flicky hair.

No to the Remainer Supreme Court.

No to Question Time audiences seemingly packed with “unbiased” Momentum activists.

No to Jeremy Corbyn whose rightful place is selling copies of Socialist Worker outside Harringay station in a Leninist cap and a chequered Palestinian keffiyeh, not running this great nation of ours.

NO! Did you get it this time? Have we made ourselves clear?

Thank you Ms. Pearson, I could not have put it better myself - er, in fact, nowhere near!

 

 

 

You can't beat a really good gloat!

Yes, yes, I know it's not the 'done thing' to dissolve into helpless giggles as you witness the utter humiliation of other people but when they are, with one exception, miserable examples of the lowest of political 'low-lifes' then I think no mercy should be shown.  The exception, of course, is bottom right in the montage.  Frank Field, a man of some principle who was not prepared to 'kowtow' to the Marxist bully boys who infiltrated his constituency.

 

The total political demise of the two men on the left of the top row fills me with warmth and satisfaction.  David Gauke and his, er, 'comrade' in duplicity, the man who is suffering with rampant, terminal smugness and superiority, Dominic Grieve, is simply too, too delicious.  I hope we never look upon their like again!

 

Finally, the cherry on this Xmas cake, the, er, 'lady' on the left in the bottom row, the utterly despicable and dislikeable, Anna Soubry, who probably changes political parties more often than her underwear and does so with unfailing arrogance.  She is no more!  What a relief!

 

 

 

So much to write, so little talent for writing it!

So, as per usual, I steal from those with the intelligence and wit and knowledge to say what I think, beginning, of course, with the ever-astute Janet Daley in The Telegraph:

Well I have to admit it. I burst into tears. [So did I - nearly!]  The people of Britain have spoken - the real people. Not the social media trolls or the Twitter addicts or that whole parallel universe of ghosts who seemed - to the credulous - to be what politics was about now, but the grown-up, decent, rational people of this country who have once again asserted their right to be heard.

And because Boris Johnson insisted that this was a Brexit election - with that endlessly repeated mantra about “getting Brexit done” - this was more than an election: it was a second referendum too.

So that’s the end of that.

Well, yes, but it is also the beginning of some daunting problems, beginning, of course, up in bonny Scotland!  Mrs. 'MacWhinge' has succeeded in duping the silly Jocks who seem to have their heads stuffed in their sporrons!  She is determined to detach Scotland from the UK and there are ominous signs that the Northern Irish and the Welsh will join their campaign.  Thus, the edifice of the 'United Kingdom' is under real threat.  Fortunately, there are some hard realities that may concentrate their minds somewhat.  For example, how will tiny Scotland cope with a customs border across the north of England?  How will the 'Proddies' cope with pressure from the Catholic south?  Even so, it will be tricky and even worse, it will be time-consuming!

However, let us all pause and enjoy - nay, luxuriate - in the utter crushing of the silliest bunch of idiots to exist outside the monkey-house in London Zoo!  Don't just think of silly, old 'Jezza', a man who has suffered with old-age dementia since he was 15 years old!  Instead, think of the likes of his comrade and mentor, Seamus Milne, the ultimate in political/philosophical contradictions - a rich man with a Public School 'edukashun' who failed utterly to see what all the rest of us 'oiks' and 'plebs' saw years ago - that 'Jezza' is a total 'plonker' fit only for playing the central role in a political comedy series!  And spare a few laughs at the expense of John McDonnell, the grey man of the Labour party, who has just seen his Marxist dreams smashed into the long grass.  If 'Jezza' eventually goes, he should go to!

Finally, a brief word to the Jewish community who, I guess, must have suffered with some sleepless nights over the campaign as the true and brutal nature of Labour's anti-Semitism became ever more clear.  Sleep tight, my friends, the British people have made their mistakes in times past but this time they have stepped in and crippled the 'Jew haters'. 

 

 

This about sums things up!

Good, old Bob in The Telegraph, spot on - again!  

I must go and 'ablute' my person after a long and exciting night with my radio ear-piece jammed in my ear.  However, I shall return in short order to provide you all with my usual astute, penetrating insight into our 'body politic', albeit, not so astute, or witty, as Bob's up above!

 

 

 

Not just a win but a 'yuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuge' win!

It's only 22.15 hrs but the exit polls indicate a massive, 3-figure win for Boris and the Tories.  I shall go to my bed a happy and contented man even if my reputation as an election forecaster (see below) has been confirmed as crap!  What a relief and in the morning I can unpack my suitcases and cancel my flight to America.  In fact, it will be 'Jezza' who will packing his cases ready for exile.  I suggest Siberia!

'Night-night' everyone, I'm off to bed with the biggest, silliest smile on my face.  See you in the morning!

 

 

Why do I think I am being got at?

A quick skim through the 'meeja' this morning and they are all singing the same song - 'the election is on a knife-edge' - 'Labour have bounced back' - 'The polls have suddenly tightened' - and so on and on and on!  Why do I 'see' the not-so-surreptitious hand of the Tory party HQ behind all this alarmist stuff? I don't blame them, that's politics, but do I believe them? NAH!  So now I will give you my, er, not very considered opinion and forecast - Boris wins with a 30 - 40 seat majority!  (Stand by for incoming tomorrow morning!)  Of course, later this morning I will be off to vote and this afternoon I will be checking my passport just in case 'Jezza' wins.  Not that I need worry, I'm sure my many American/Australian friends will welcome me as a refugee - er, you will, won't you?

ADDITIONAL:  Right, that's it, sorted, job done, I have just voted and where I lead, zillions follow so you can expect a stunning victory for Boris!

 

 

My election opinion - well, everyone else has one - or two - or more!

I have kept relatively quiet about tomorrow's election, not out of discretion, or because I will almost certainly be proven wrong or even because I am pretty sure you are all as bored with it as I am!  No, my main reason is my almost total ignorance.  I am not ashamed of this because it is a condition I share with all the 'meeja' and their highly-paid 'experts' and with most of the opinion polls.  Of course, one of the opinion polls will prove to be more accurate than the others but as nobody knows which one then it is a total gamble to choose which one!

So instead, I will give you my hopes for the result tomorrow.  Obviously, I want Boris and the Tories to win, not because I am a 'yuuuuuuuuuge' admirer but because, despite the 'cock-ups' and 'snafus' one expects from a Boris-led administration, it will be infinitely preferable to anything else on offer.  Part of my support stems from my fascination with the career of Dominic Cummings who to my - and probably his, too! - surprise has ended up as a key advisor in the Tory HQ.  Where this man will lead us, no-one knows for sure, least of all himself!  He will already have built up some hefty opposition for his 'off the wall' approach to politics from the usual 'collective' of stodgy mediocrities who control the Tory hierarchy.  Still, some ideas are glinting through the smog, such as kicking the BBC out into the public arena where they will have to earn their own living instead of relying on licence payers.  Similarly, it seems that, at last, a cool and detached eye will be cast over the foreign aid department which shovels so much of our 'dosh' into the pockets of sundry gangsters and murderers around the world!

I am less than impressed with Boris's glad-handing of 'zillions' of my money (as I fondly think of it!) to all the 'usual suspects' such as the NHS, et al!  I live in a small hope that all those, er, 'promises' will go the way of most pre-election promises!  If indeed, Boris really and truly 'gets Brexit done', then we must expect exceedingly troubled times ahead, particularly given the suggested 'decline and fall' of the EU as Germany slides towards recession.  I know nothing of the details of Boris's so-called 'deal' with the EU but I fear the worst because our civil service couldn't negotiate their way out of a paper bag, let alone the fine mesh net the EU will cast over us. So long as we manage to evade the control of their wretched Courts system, I will be satisfied.

Now, having donned my NBC warfare suit, I turn to Labour!  I sort of want them crushed but not, I hope, totally!  Corbyn and his polit-bureau need to be smashed by the electorate but we need a functioning opposition, so I hope that a core of decent Labourites survive.  In fact, and I find this difficult to write, I suspect that Labour will do rather better than the experts believe.  It is almost unbelievable that anyone with more than three brain cells and a sense of smell could even contemplate a Labour government given their political make-up today.  But, to paraphrase an old American saying of great wisdom, 'you'll never go broke underestimating the intelligence of an electorate!'

Finally, the 'il-Lib-non-Dems' who proved my summary of their two-faced hypocrisy to be absolutely spot-on when they decided to stick two fingers up to the democratically decided decision by the British people to leave the EU by simply announcing that were they to win they would simply rip up the referendum result.  I suspect, or at least, I hope that that ghastly, bossy and stupid 'head girl' who leads the party gets a big slap from the electorate that she so obviously despises!

I was going to finish this tedious diatribe but I suddenly remembered that hideous woman, 'Mrs. McWhinge', up in, er, bonny Scotland.  Come on, you Jocks, sober up and just 'stick yure heed in wi' your bonnet on' and get rid of her so that I never have to hear her voice ever again!

There you are, that was a useful and perceptive analysis of the political situation in dear, old Blighty, don't you agree?  Sorry, I missed that . . .

 

 

 

Never trust those damned, smoothie Brits!

A fascinating article via Zero Hedge which originated at The American Conservative.com.  It details the, er, 'dastardly deeds' of William Stephenson (a Canadian actually) who in 1940 - a rather sweaty time for Britain! - was despatched to the USA by Churchill in order to set up - dare I say it? - a 'fake news factory' to help persuade the American 'Peeps' to give up their really rather sensible insistence on neutrality as the rest of the world went to hell in a handcart!

Stephenson knew his way around the 'meeja' which barely differed in its crookedness then, to what it is today!  Also, given Roosevelt's quiet determination to get America into the war, he was content to allow Stephenson to pump his fake news into the American system.  Of course, it was not simply love for Britain and dislike of Hitler that moved Roosevelt but his absolute determination to use the disaster of yet another world war to provide an opportunity to create a new, American world order.

So, let's hear it for 'Fake News'! 

 

 

The Sunday Rumble: 8.12.19

Art criticism at its very best:   As y'all do know, I am in a quiet way a bit of an old 'arty-farty'.  I rarely pay attention to art critics because I know what I like even if, sometimes, I don't exactly know why!  But here is a man whose, er, 'taste' I would trust implicitly.  Recently an 'artwork' was unveiled which consisted of a banana duct-taped to a wall with a price tag of $120,000 attached.

On Saturday, the man, Mr. David Datuna, who is obviously of impeccable, er, taste, ate the banana!

 

Are you as confused as me over the forthcoming election?   Well, neither of us can be blamed given, as an example, two headlines in the same edition of the Sunday Mail:

"Tories scent victory with fresh poll showing late Labour surge has not materialised"

"Boris Johnson refuses THREE times to say if he would quit, should the Tories fail to win the election, as polls tighten with just days to go" 

I think I'll just stick to the pattern of the tea leaves at the bottom of my morning cup of tea!

From The Telegraph

 

Classic Peter Hitchens:   He is always a 'Must Read' on a Sunday but today he covers a range of topics all of which make you think.  I never followed his late brother and I wonder if he was a patch on Peter?

 

Hoot of the Year:   I am indebted to the Red State site for providing the hoot of the year from the lips of that well-known American comedienne, Mrs. Hillary Rodham Clinton.  She was re-acting to that mummified creature who calls herself Nancy Pelosi who has inveighed against Trump's evil ways and threatened dire legal counter-measures.  'HillBilly' responded with these immortal words: “no one is above the law”.

 

If only!   Apparently that irritating little girl, Greta Thunberg, is complaining that 'they' are trying to silence her!

Well, 'they' are obviously not very good at it because she never shuts up talking total 'tosh'!  Good job she's not my daughter!

 

Why I no longer go the theatre:  Particularly if it is a play by William Shakespeare.  The pig-ignorant dolts who rule 'theatre-land' these days are an insult to my intelligence but not to theirs because they do not have any!  This from a review of Richard III in this week's 'Speccie':

This modern-dress production (co-directed by Sean Holmes and Ilinca Radulian) has been cast without regard to race, gender or age. Anyone who doesn’t hold a professorship in Plantagenet genealogy will struggle to comprehend the sinuous plot. Richard (Sophie Russell) enters wearing a white footballer’s shirt inscribed RICHARD 03. Clear enough. Margaret, played by a man, also appears with her name embroidered on her football kit but with the letters covered by a coat. An easy blunder to correct. Harder to fix is the sparse company which isn’t populous enough to serve the text. Matti Houghton plays Anne and two other large-ish roles. Colin Hurley begins as Hastings and morphs into Tyrrell, the Mayor and Oxford. Steffan Donnelly opens as Margaret and ends as Richmond.

Need I say more?

 

No more Rumbles

 

 

 

Feeling good this morning? Then don't read this!

Let me begin by tweaking a famous phrase from those old, British, PoW films from the 1950s in which the smug German officer tells his British prisoners, "For you, ze var iss over!"  Instead, given a fascinating article by Matthew Lynn in The Telegraph, I will flip it over and say to Germany, "Awfully sorry, mein Herr, but for you, your economic dominance is over!"  Not, I hasten and emphasise to say, that it is neccessarilly good news for us!

According to Mr. Lynn:

Its main industry is in freefall. Its political system is descending into chaos. The banking system is in crisis, and consumer demand is stuck in the doldrums. Which country? It is, of course, Germany. With every week that passes there are more and more signs of a deep malaise in its economy.

I have nothing much against post-war Germany.  I was quietly pleased that they made such Herculean efforts to rebuild their country from the rubble they inherited in 1945.  Needless to say, as their industrial and economic power grew they began to use it to influence European affairs but, hey, that's what all nations do if they can!  At least this time they did so quietly and discreetly by twisting the arms of the various sock-puppets, like 'Junck the Drunk' who ran the EU, and happily, we in Britain were (for a change!) shrewd enough to heed the words of the late, great Nicholas Ridley that "the EU is a German racket" and given our chance we voted to leave.

Even so, Mr. Lynn's news is sobering:

When Germany released its industrial production figures yesterday, they were predictably awful. Output dropped by 5.3pc over the same month a year ago, the worst reading since the depths of the last recession in 2009.

But then, the news out of the country is usually grim right now. Retail sales figures out this week showed a 1.9pc year-on-year fall. Its mighty auto industry, the engine of the industrial machine, is slashing jobs, with 9,500 redundancies at Audi announced in the last month and another 10,000 at Daimler, as its manufacturers desperately try to pivot away from high-pollution diesel to electric vehicles.

The once mighty Deutsche Bank is still cutting jobs as it tries to keep itself alive. Meanwhile, the government looks more fragile than ever, with Angela Merkel’s grand coalition coming apart at the seams and with the anti-business Greens almost certain to win a share of power soon.

I am tempted to ask what the German is for "Oh dear, what a pity, never mind"?  However, I will set aside my sneer because the economic crash of any hitherto prosperous and democratic nation is bad news for everyone.  We are about to launch ourselves away from Europe and the last thing we need is a major economic - and therefor political! - car crash 'just over there'!

 

 

'Steady the Buffs', er, I mean the Duffs!

I must confess to a very slight sense of uneasiness as I approach next Thursday's election.  All the 'meeja' seem confident of a Tory majority, albeit, somewhat divided over the probable size of it.  As a sane, semi-educated Brit, I cannot conceive of anyone outside of a mental institution actually voting for Jeremy Corbyn to be Prime Minister.  Not only is he dim, dumb and daft, he is also a disgusting human being.  Anyone who spends a lifetime cosying up to every murderous terrorist with a hatred for Britain, ranging from IRA thugs to Muslim killers, is the worst of all types because whilst he nurses his hatred inwardly, he actually lacks the guts to take his chances on the streets with a bomb in hand!

Even so there are one or two factors in this coming election which, alas, I am unable to quantify with any exactitude.  First, there are the 'kiddie-winkies', a.k.a. as 'young people'.  Mostly soft in body and in mind - given their pathetic 'edukashun'! - they are incapable of detecting the nature of the evil in the current cabal that has seized power in the Labour party.  They can just about master the slogans they carry around on demos - provided none of the words has more than one syllable!

These 'ninnies' dance to the tune of 'Twitter' which, I gather, utterly dominates their lives and which, I am told, is a constant source of Left-wing agit-prop.  Hitherto, I have relaxed in my confident expectation that the lazy, little sods will be too idle to actually get out of bed and vote!  However, so powerful is the grip of the internet on their lives via the plugs constantly jammed in their ears that this time they might just be galvanised.

All of that, of course, is a call for action from us 'oldies'!  Come on, 'Gramps', get your arse out of the armchair and get voting next Thursday!

 

 

Cartoon Corner #1

I am a great admirer of cartoons, particularly political cartoons which sum up complex situations in a single illustration - with wit and humour.  This, the first of many, I hope, is from The Telegraph:

 

Pheeeew, so far, so good!

I must confess to opening my Daily Mail this morning with trembling hands.  Well, 'Big Don' was in town and the least I expected was a couple of 'hooooge' big 'clangers' to be dropped.  I mean, he was attending the 70th anniversary of NATO and was thus surrounded by dozens of national leaders so the opportunity for some 'schlock-horror' pronouncements was enormous.  Consider the opportunities offered by him meeting and greeting the likes of  'mini'-Macron, although I gathered they went into max-hand squeezing when they shook hands.  (By the way, don't you just detest those uber-masculine twerps who go in for that sort of thing - I always want to jerk them towards me and then 'nut' them!)

Even more potentially hazardous was the prospect of 'Big Don' meeting the ghastly thug who now runs Turkey - not so much the 'clash of titans' as the clash of total tits!  Incidentally, what the hell is Turkey doing in NATO?  Yes, I know that geographically it is situated in at an exceedingly strategic place but even so, do I want to go to war to protect the Erdogan government?

Rather wisely, given that he is in the middle of an election, Boris, I gather steered well clear so as not to offer 'Big Don' the chance to opine on the contest.  Any exuberant words of praise from him for Boris would go down like a shit sandwich.  As Michael Deacon describes it in The Telegraph:

The one subject he tried not to express a view on was our own election. Supposedly Boris Johnson is worried that Trump might inadvertently derail the Tory campaign – but on Tuesday, at least, the president was clearly striving with all his might to break the habit of a lifetime, and keep his opinions to himself.

Mind you, he couldn't resist the chance of bragging about Brexit:

Although determined not to comment on British politics, Trump did reiterate his support for Brexit. Not for the first time, he boasted that he’d predicted it. “I called it the day before [the referendum],” he told reporters, with an air of fond reminiscence. “I was opening up Turnberry [his Scottish golf course] the day before – many of you were there, I recognise that many of you were there. And they asked me whether or not Brexit would happen. I said yes, and everybody smiled, and they laughed. The next day they had the [referendum] – and I was right.”

A great story. Pity it isn’t true. In reality, Trump didn’t arrive at Turnberry until the day after the referendum. It’s fascinating. Not only does he seem to forget things that have happened. He also seems to recall – with the most dazzling clarity – things that actually never happened at all.

Actually, I don't think he's that bad a President but I just wish he would button up two things - his jacket and his mouth!

 

 

Sorry, sorry, sorry and all that sort of thing!

Yes, I do realise that yesterday markets fell, production slumped and sundry religious fanatics foretold the imminent end of the world because my Monday Funnies failed to appear!  Of course, my foreman-elf in the Australian joke mine has gone a.w.o.l. which meant there was a dire shortage of jokes to go round yesterday.  Anyway, it wasn't so much those "Events, dear boy, events" that got in the way yesterday, more like 'bloody this, bloody that and the bloody other'.  Today, I'm pleased to report that all's quiet on the 'Zummerzet' front!

Which leaves me to ruminate on the young tartlet and the middle-aged Prince - of course, you know to whom I am referring because every bloody newspaper in the western world is full of it!  The Prince, of course, is a total prat with the intelligence of a rutting stag but we have all known middle-aged men like him whose brains appear to be packed inside their Y-fronts!  The tartlet concerned, although she is more grown-up now, is plastered all over The Mail and to be honest I could not be bothered to plough through all of her tear-stained diatribe for which, I suspect, she was exceedingly well-paid!  At the time, she was only 17 years old and so can be excused somewhat from her silliness but I can't help wondering where her parents were?  They are the ones who should be dragged before that most severe of tribunals - the court of public opinion!

 

 

The Sunday Rumble: 1.12.19

God bless 'Speccie' readers:   Well two of them, at any rate.  They wrote in to the latest edition to settle an old puzzle which has baffled drunks the world over!  How do you pronounce 'vermouth'?  Alas, both writers disagreed so we are no further forward:

Sir: Henry Jeffreys (Books, 16 November) asks if vermouth should be pronounced ‘vermuth’ or ‘vermooth’. I can’t go past Cole Porter’s song of ‘Two little babes in the wood’, who discovered that ‘the fountain of youth is a mixture of gin and vermouth’. Vermooth it is for me.

Sir: Regarding the pronunciation of ‘vermouth’, I strongly maintain that it should be ‘vermuth’. A resident of a well-known Dorset seaside resort would not say that they lived in Bournemooth, nor would a Geordie pleasure-seeker spend a beach holiday at Tynemooth.

Oh dear, I need a dry martini!

 

I told you the Poles were mad!   One of the courageous civilians who leapt into action to deal with the terrorist in London was a Pole called Lukasz.  Rather sensibly he armed himself with a 'pole' in the form of an enormous whale tusk which was displayed on a wall in the building where things kicked off.  Here he is in action on London Bridge with two others.

Well, makes a change from charging German panzers on horseback armed with a lance!

 

Oh God, now 'panto' has fallen to the 'woke' brigade:   According to Toby Young, in the 'Speccie' of course, good old-fashioned pantomimes enjoyed all round Britain have been got at by the PC miserabilists.

If you were hoping to escape the bilge that’s been pumped out by supposedly neutral organs of the state during this general election campaign — the BBC, schools, the NHS — I don’t recommend going to see a pantomime. Gramsci’s long march through the institutions has finally reached the last redoubt of political incorrectness. Say goodbye to bum-pinching, boob-squeezing and irreverent, smutty gags about holier-than-thou political figures; say hello to anti-austerity scripts, racially sensitive casting and three-hour lectures on climate change.

 

(Sir) Lewis wins again:   What an incredible young man!  Brought up in a council house in Stevenage but with the help of an even more incredible man - his father who once held down three jobs to pay for his son's early attempts in motor racing - he has now won the last Grand Prix of the year - his eleventh.  Only one thing holds him back - he must, absolutely must- get rid of that dreadful hairstyle!  How can he expect 'Her Maj' to entertain him to tea and a Knighthood with his head covered in dead rats?

 

 

No more rumbles

 

 

But when the Jews are dumb, they're really, really dumb!

Many a time and oft', I have declared my admiration for the intelligence of Jews but even so, they do sometimes get things very wrong.  The perfect example has arisen in an article in The Spectator this week by Johan Norberg.  It is summed up by its title: "The rise – and disastrous fall – of the kibbutz".  Now, I can vaguely remember as a young person - yes, even that far back! - hearing about the Israeli kibbutzim, in which Israelis of various ages joined together to form 'collectives' to till the land, grow their crops and raise their livestock.  Nobody received more money than anyone else, such 'profits' as arose were shared equally but only to the level to cover neccessities.  To a young person it all sounded rather attractive.  Alas, it was not!

As Mr. Norberg puts it:

Joshua Muravchik, who has documented the rise and fall of the kibbutz, explains that the first sign of trouble in paradise was the revolt against collective child-rearing. To break the tyranny of the bourgeois family unit, children were raised in separate houses, where they lived and slept. Some enjoyed it, but others have described the terror of being ripped from their parents, left to the mercy of gangs of other children. Family ties were seen as the nemesis of perfect collectivism. Indeed, Jon Lansman had only one complaint about his kibbutz: ‘I was disappointed,’ he mused, ‘by the absence of children’s houses’ — he had hoped his kibbutz would include a separate building for children to be honed into impeccable young socialists.

For those not familiar with Mr. Jon Landsman, he is the leader of an extreme socialist sect within the Labour party which, with the rise of Jeremy Corbyn, has now reached a position of real power inside the party.  

Mr. Norberg continues with his history of the collapse of the Israeli kibbutzim.  Needless to say, 'it wos the wimmin wot done it!' 

There was another powerful force that kibbutz utopians had not taken into consideration: women’s preference for choosing their own outfits. In a traditional kibbutz, clothes were deemed to be collective property. Dirty clothes were handed to a central laundry, and clean ones were handed out in exchange — but no tabs were kept on whose were whose. Women hated it and demanded cash allowances to buy their own clothes. As the pioneers warned, this opened up a Pandora’s Box of savage individualism. If you could own clothes, why not toiletries or furniture or even individual refrigerators?

Yes, it's always that damned irritating human nature that interferes with 'the best laid plans of mice and men':

There were other problems too. What happens when you can’t fire a slacker or reward someone productive? A scholar of kibbutz education, Yuval Dror, realised: ‘People like me who started as socialists concluded that you can work hard and get nothing while others don’t work hard. It is so unfair.’ Another kibbutz veteran concluded that his community was turning into a ‘paradise for parasites’.

And so, slowly but inexorably, the entire structure collapsed.  Even so, it is another credit to Jewish intelligence that nobody attempted to enforce the system against the wishes of the people.  If 'Jezza' and his 'polit-bureau' ever gain power in Britain, can we rely on them not to use extra-legal powers of coercian to enforce their mad dreams?  I would not bet on it!

 

 

 

This piece of irony is more sour than delicious

As y'all do know, there is no-one who appreciates irony more than me and yesterday, during that incredible action on London Bridge, there was a major example of it and yet … and yet … perhaps I should explain. A Muslim 'nutter' went berserk with a knife on a London street, killing two people and wounding several others and yet sundry passers-by courageously decided to take the man down themselves.  My admiration for them is boundless.

However, according to The Mail, amongst these heroes - and I do not use that word lightly - was a Mr. James Ford, 42, who instead of running away from a dangerous man who might have been wearing a bomb-vest, he stayed and attended to a wounded woman.  And now comes the irony.  It transpires that Mr. Ford is, himself, a killer who had recently been early-released from a long prison term for murdering a young woman in 2004 by cutting her throat!  Sometimes, there are just no words I can think of, so once again I thank God for William Shakespeare who sums up the quandry in one brilliant phrase;

 

"What a piece of work is a man"

 

 

 

They walk amongst us!

Yes indeed and if only they kept their mouths shut we would never realise it.  Imagine, if you will, sitting in a library opposite Jeremy Corbyn.  Nice, old codger, you would think.  Or sitting opposite John McDonnell in a train, quite a distinguished-looking bloke you might think, although he's looking a bit baggy-eyed these days!

 

But then you hear or read their political opinions and instantly you think 'raving loonies', or 'who let them out?'  During this election campaign, were you to visit your nearest, friendly 'looney-bin' and conduct a political survey you would almost certainly hear more realistic and sensible ideas than either of those two could utter.

Between them, these two 'nut jobs' along with the gaggle of dribbling retards who surround them, are destroying utterly a once distinguished and decent political movement that, albeit mostly wrong on most things, nevertheless had a proud past and a common-sensical and moderate approach to the myriad problems that exist in our society.  I have not, and never would, vote Labour but, in the past, I have viewed equably the prospect that they might form a government.  I was content to believe that they would abide by the traditional and legal mores developed over the centuries.  Today, I would not!

Those two men and the ignorant, stupid gangsters who surround them are "a real and present danger" to everything we hold dear in this country.  They need to be utterly crushed at this election not just to save us from a fate worse than death but to save the small, moderate cluster of socialist democrats who still hang on despite the swivel-eyed loonies who have captured their party.  We need a Tory government but equally we need a sensible, centrist, Labour opposition.

 

 

The Poles are mad but we all knew that!

A fascinating article by the distinguished observer of all things Eastern European, Ms. Anne Applebaum over at the CAPX site.  She begins with the Poles whom she suspects are going into one of their mad seasons:

Poland is very, very profoundly divided into really warring camps, people who not only disagree with one another, they don’t even agree on the facts of the day.

Well, that would describe most countries most of the time but the Poles do have a tendency to take things to extremes - sometimes for good, sometimes for ill!

At least half the country is extremely worried by the government’s attacks on the Polish constitution, by the government’s attack on its judiciary, and by the potential for future attacks on free media – there’s already talk of so called re-Polanisation of the media, and nationalisation of private business more generally. So, yes, there is a lot of concern. And then there’s the part of the country that is happy because it feels that it’s benefiting from the government’s social programmes.

Of course, looming over the Polish horizon is the ever-present threat of 'Mother' Russia!  At least there is one slightly modifying factor present in that Nato has moved further east with British troops in Lithuania and American troops in Poland which will give even Putin pause!  A delicate situation so we must all pray that the Poles don't go 'bonkers'!

 

 

 

"The evils of the British empire"

Well, that's how 'Jezza' and his 'polit-bureau' put it and they are determined, if they form the next government, to ram the nasty details down the throats of all the 'likkle kiddie-winkies' who go to 'skool'!  Gosh, that should keep them busy because there was plenty of evil to go around back in the, er, 'good ol' days!'  However, if accuracy is also important, which in this case I doubt it is, then even greater time will be required to teach all the benefits that accrued from the British empire.

I haven't the time to draw up a balance sheet but it is worth pointing out that if slavery was part of empire rule, it was actually the Brits who eventually put a stop to it.  Of course, it still exists but is mainly confined to countries that have long since been granted their independence!  Also, it is worth remembering the industrial infrastructure that was, in effect, donated to empire countries on independence, such as India's railway system.  Yes, a particularly useless Brit General did order the shooting of several hundred Indians at Amritsar but that was 'a mere bagatelle compared to the number Indians put to the sword by their previous Indian Princes and Rajahs.

Perhaps, in the long-term, the best thing we bequeathed them was the notion of democracy.  True, it hasn't lasted all that well, particularly in Africa, but -hey! - that was the fault of the, er, 'freedom fighters' who took over when the Brits departed.  You may not like it, my old ex-colonial fellows, but you just have to suck it up 'cos it's your fault!

Can you imagine a modern British school (non)teacher even trying to explain that to the little yobs and yobettes before them?  Nah!  Nor can I!               

 

 

Right, get fell in, you 'orrible lot!

Thus spake sergeants through the ages and almost certainly still do so today.  So, 'you 'orrible lot' can 'get fell in' at the Daily Telegraph which has a fascinating briefing on the current and future developments of that awsome 'queen of the battlefield', the tank!  The possibilities are immense and with the advent of ultra-sophisticated electronics the horizon is enlarging at speed.  

Alas, as an ex-infantryman, I have nothing to add to the debate except enormous gratitude that I never had to face up to enemy tanks.  In fact, I wasn't too keen on friendly tanks, either.  I once looked inside one and my incipient claustrophobia instantly took over!  Even so, this is a fascinating article and I do hope that our military 'brain-boxes' are thinking things through with imagination and technical expertise.  If and when the 'brown stuff' hits the fan, it will be too late for any more original thinking!

 

 

The Sunday Rumble: 24.11.19

Thanks, 'Jezza', for being so honest:   Yes, you did read that right but please note that I do not suggest he was totally honest which would be a ludicrous suggestion as he faces a general election. Even so, he and his 'polit-bureau' have laid their aims and purposes face up on the table for all to read. In the unlikely event of his and his 'Marxist-Labour' party actually winning, no-one will be able to claim that 'they didn't know'!  Now, precisely what 'Boing-Boing' Boris will actually do when he is in office is much more of an enigma wrapped in a puzzle, etc, etc!

 

Time to say good bye, your Honour!   The remarkable High Court Justice, Ruth Bader Ginsburg, 86, has been carted off to hospital yet again.  She is, of course, battier than a really, really batty thing but, dammit, you have to admire her guts.  Apparently she is determined to serve on into her 90s not least, I suspect, because she wishes to deny Trump his pick for the Supreme Court.

Wouldn't want to come up in front of her for some misdemeanour! 

 

"Great balls of fire!"   Er, well, 'great balls of steel', actually!  That is what Mr. Elon Musk arranged to have thrown at the windows of his new armoured van at its mega-launch a couple of days ago in order to prove how resistant is was to any sort of attack:

'Shurely shome mishtake here!"

What can one say except 'ohdearwhatapitynevermind!'  Never mind, Musk baby, at least you set Xmas off with a laugh!

 

Let's hear it for Ms. Joy Morrissey!   She is the lady contesting the Beaconsfield seat for the Tory party against that 'dirty rat', Dominic Grieve, who, in his impeccably snooty way pulled every trick in the book to ruin Brexit.  I hope he loses his deposit!

 

A little taste of Hopper:   I just came across his name and instantly, no hesitation, I went to look for some examples of his superb artistry.  He is, without doubt one of my favourite artists.

Lighthouse at Two Lights by Edward Hopper

 

Hotel Lobby by Edward Hopper

 

Automat by Edward Hopper

It's not just the paintings but the untold stories behind them which Hopper leaves to the viewer to invent.

 

An historical view of Britain and Europe!   I draw your attention to a thoughtful article at the CAPX site by the distinguished historian, Niall Ferguson, on the hoary, old subject of Britain and the EU.  The good news is that he thinks the EU is going 'tits up' irrespective of anything Britain does.  Bring it on!

 

You may need to fasten your seatbelts 'over there':   I offer this entirely unwanted, and indeed, un-needed, advice to my 'Yankee-doodle' friends 'over there' who appear to be headed for exceedingly tempestuous times.  This extract from a piece over at the American Thinker sums it up fairly well:

I'm sure I am also not alone in thinking that Attorney General Barr, with his recent speeches, is using his bully pulpit to lay the groundwork for shaping public understanding and support for drastic action that should result from those reports and that he is employing high-octane, carefully crafted rhetoric to prepare public opinion for the explosive, controversial revelations — i.e., possible judicial proceedings against high-ranking members of the Deep State in the CIA, the FBI, and the Obama administration, including such persons as Brennan, Clapper, Comey, and Rice.  [My emphasis]

What was that remark concerning "interesting times"?

 

No more rumbles

 

 

In which I am literally purring

This is quite the very best general election I have ever lived through.  Normally they are "close run things" and if one has leanings in one direction or another, there can be a need to bite one's nails!  Not this one, though!  Barring Boris being caught in bed with Prince Andrew, he is already home and dry in No. 10.  It's just a pity that we still have to trudge through several more weeks of pointless blather.

I do remember, albeit very slightly, the late Michael Foot.  A 'looney Leftie' leader of the Labour party whose only, er, 'success' was to cause a split in his party and then produce the lowest vote for Labour - ever!  His, er, 'record' stands to this day but I can't help thinking that it is now under severe threat from 'Jezza' and his 'polit-bureau' of sub-normal henchmen who are so fixated with looking Left that they cannot see the chasm they are approaching.

Meanwhile the big, bouncy 'Head Girl' who leads the il-Lib-non-Dems, Ms. Jo Swinson, is heading in roughly the same direction as 'Jezza'.  She might think she is putting over the image of the 'New Woman' dreamed of by feminists for decades but unfortunately she comes across as just bossy, 'naggy' and the epitome of the mother-in-law you never, ever want!  She is also equal to 'Jezza' in the stupidity stakes.  By announcing proudly that she, with one stroke of her phantom Prime Ministerial pen, will overthrow the declared, by referendum, wishes of the British people has doomed herself and her party to yet more wasted years on the side-lines of British politics.

So that leaves us with shambolic Boris - yeeeeeees, quite!  Still, his heart is in the right place even if his hands are not always!  Oddly enough, I do wish that Phil Hammond had not retired so early.  Yes, he was 'a dirty rat' 'Remainer' but he was also a damned good Chancellor and he might have been able to stand guard over the national coffers to protect them from spendthrift Boris with whom I would trust neither my daughter (if I had one) or my savings!

Oh well, only about three more tedious weeks to go and at least we have Xmas to look forward to - Ho, Ho, Ho and all that jazz!

 

 

The American 'Speccie' spots a winner!

No, no, don't worry, it has nothing to do with politics but everything to do with one of my favourite TV detectives.  Given that he is a fat slob from 'ooop Yorkshire way' I was amazed to see him mentioned in such a distinguished American magazine.  The name of the character is 'Andy Dalziel', pronounced 'Dee-yell', hereafter referred to as 'DL'.   Mr. Larry Thornberry, the writer of the piece sums him up thus:

DL is a son of blue-collar Yorkshire, with all the prejudices and resentments that come with this pedigree. He has made it to the rank of detective superintendent without benefit (if such it is) of a university education, or anything else that would add what some would call polish. For the anti-DLs, the main charges and specifications against him are that he smokes extravagantly and everywhere, drinks athletically, sometimes yells at subordinates, makes fun of everything PC, can be profane, and scratches various body parts in public that would be better attended to in private. I stipulate all these charges while still rising to his defense.

That's him, on the left, alongside his long-suffering sergeant, 'Peter Pascoe' played by Colin Buchanan.  The TV series was based on the numerous novels of Reginal Hill but, alas and alack, I have never got round to reading any of them.  The TV episodes are available via the usual 'whizzy-do' channels and I would urge you to give them a try.  In this PC age 'DL' is hardly a role model but he makes me chuckle!

 

 

In which I almost - but not quite - felt a twinge of sympathy for Jo Swinson

See?!  I do have a (sort of) soft spot!  I felt it this morning when I read Ms. Alison Pearson's summary of her opinion concerning Ms. Jo Swinson, the leader of the 'il-Lib-non-Dem' party in today's Telegraph.  Gosh, there's no man can ever put the boot into a lady politician the way a lady reporter can stomp down with her high heels!  "Patronising, low on charisma, high on self-confidence" is how Ms. Pearson puts it.  She continues, “Up her own bottom, but not far enough so we can still hear her,” was one verdict. Sorry, shouldn’t laugh…".  Crikey, I doubt even Richard Littlejohn would use that line!

I struggle a bit with the Boden Mum Who Always Wins the Parents’ Race vibe, writes Allison Pearson  Credit: PA

Appearances are not everything even though the very sight and sound of the wretched woman irritates me but her fanaticism in favour of Britain remaining in the EU puts her well and truly beyond the pale as far as I am concerned.  It confirms the accuracy of my description of her party as the ''il-Lib-non-Dem" party in that she swears that if she becomes PM she will simply rip up the referendum result and rejoin the EU.  By their deeds shall you know them!

I sincerely hope and trust that 'Jezza' and his Bolsheviks will be slaughtered at the election but if the illiberal and undemocratic Jo Swinson joins the body count then I will celebrate!

 

 

 

The election roundabout is out of control!

One doesn't expect a smooth ride with Boris at the controls but, dammit, we're only a couple of weeks into the electoral journey and already he has slammed his proudly flaunted tax policy into reverse.  Last week he was determined to cut corporate tax rates, this week he is not!  Last week he was still sticking by the 4-year old Tory pledge to give MPs a free vote on allowing fox hunting but this week he has become unstuck!  Positively 'Trumpian', methinks!

Meanwhile, after executing a sharp Left turn, 'Jezza' continues to hurtle up a dead-end street at high speed despite the increasingly obvious concrete wall ahead.  More and more of his passengers are taking their chances by leaping off his kamikaze bus!  If Mrs. May's last snooze-fest of an election was eye-stabbingly tedious then this one is like no other!

 

Of princes and paupers

Needless to say, Andrew is the prince and I am the pauper - although, to tell truth and shame the Devil, I'm not exactly begging on the streets!  Anyway, never mind me, what I wanted to make clear is that I am bored to near insanity by all this non-stop 'yadda-yadda' concerning Prince Andrew.  I do realise the 'meeja' have a problem what with one of the most boring and predictable general elections going on and the England 'footie' team is actually winning matches (even if they are up against the equivalent of a medley of Division 3 sides) plus the fact that Meghan and Harry are 'over there' hiding (until she starts to miss the publicity!), even so, enough is enough, my life already!

Andrew, like many of the Windsor's, is not the brightest light in the Royal firmament.  He's a thoroughly decent chap and all that sort of thing, he went up the 'sharp end' in the Falklands, he stands around dutifully at the back of the balcony in 'Buck House' when he has to, and like Princes everywhere, he enjoys the occasional 'bonk', particularly if it is offered to him on a plate, so to speak!

So, please, Mr. Editors, you are right to report it but you are not right to go on and on and on and on about it.  Give it a rest!

 

PS: Sorry, sorry!  Dozy, old git that I am, I forgot to put a heading to my last post.  Oh dear, do you think it's old age catching me up?

 

 

The Sunday Rumble: 17.11.19

Those damned Dambusters!   I am somewhat over-hyped because whilst slurping my morning 'drain-clear' (aka: my fresh orange juice) this morning, I read that part of Max Hasting's superb history of the 'Dambuster' raid in which the actual attacks went in.  I found myself gripping the arm of my chair!

Can you imagine flying that behemoth, straight and true at night, just 60' above the water, with German AA fire streaming in at you?  The courage and the skill required defies belief!  Mind you, it is worth pausing to also remark on the courage and sense of duty of the likes of Cpl. Schulze, the son of a local farmer, who remained at his AA post on top of the dam desperately trying to defend against this seemingly endless line of incoming bombers all of whom were firing back at him!  All that courage, all that skill, all that scientific expertise - and all for the purposes of mutual destruction!  One can only echo Othello: "But yet the pity of it, Iago! O Iago, the pity of it! "  And it's worth remembering that it was very much and Anglo-Saxon enterprise.  The crews were an ad hoc mix of British and British  Empire men from around the globe and also included an American (Joe McCarthy - no, not that one!) who had volunteered for the RAF before his country was involved.  It's a terrific book - treat yourself - or others - at Christmas!

 

Poor old Oliver Kamm, up the creek without a paddle!   As regular readers know, I have not just a soft spot for Oliver Kamm but admiration.  I remember way back in the day, long before he rose to the dizzy heights as a leader writer for The Times, when he was just another blogger, er, like me, really! (Well, not quite like me because he has brains, intelligence and learning and all that sort of thing!)  Anyway, I have, sort of, followed his progress since then and occasionally picked up his 'scribblings'.  Like today, for example, over at CAPX where the poor chap finds himself all at sea now that he accepts the cold truth that his lifetime of love and support for the Labour party needs must end.  He appears to be dismissive of the 'il-Lib-non-Dems' and somehow I cannot see him ever voting for Boris, so the question remains, who will he vote for next month?

 

We can't see ya' but we can hear ya and smell ya'!   According to the Sheriff's Office in Clay County, Missouri, a runaway dope-dealer suspect hid himself away so well they could not find him.  Alas and alack, he could not control his wind and let forth an almighty loud and long fart which gave him away.  The story does not say how long the sheriff had to wait up-wind before carrying out the arrest.  Possibly the suspect had over-indulged in a slug of Barney Magroo's finest!

 

Movin' along from Missouri to Louisiana:   Bad news for 'The Donald' in a State Governorship election in Louisiana.  The incumbent Democrat who took the 'Repubs' by surprise by winning the previous election, now he's done it again to win a second term.  This, despite three visits from 'The Donald' and a 'yuuuuge' campaign by the GOP who were anxious to regain what they considered to be a safe Republican state.  Not the best pre-Christmas gift Mr. President was hoping for!

 

Does anyone really know the real Boris?   I ask because I haven't a clue!  But next month I will probably help vote him in as Prime Minister.  What will he actually do?  The only 'hints', broadcast across the 'meeja' at full volume, is that he will spend money like a drunken sailor.  I must ask my e-pal, 'JK', how that works in practice but I fear the worst.  Part of the problem is that I have considerable difficulty in understanding what he is saying via that gurgling, stuttering,stammering burble that sounds terribly posh but is mostly indecipherable!  Mind you, I have no problem understanding 'Jezza's' agit-prop and I tremble!  Alas, when it comes to Boris, all we can do is hope for the best but expect the worst and comfort ourselves with the thought that his 'worst' is infinitely preferable to Jezza's best!

 

No more rumbles 

 

 

Into the valley of political death they rode!

With apologies to the late, great Alfred, Lord Tennyson:

Half a league, half a league,
Half a league onward,
All in the valley of Death
Rode the six hundred.
“Forward, the Lab Brigade!
Charge for the guns!” Jez said.
Into the valley of Death
Rode the six hundred.

On account of the innumerable wounds and scars I have accumulated over the years whilst offering election forecasts, most of which were hopelessly wrong, I tend to avoid them now.  However, I make an exception today because I am able to hide behind the skirts of Ms. Sherelle Jacobs of The Daily Telegraph!  Her headline sums it up:

Labour is on the brink of the most seismic wipeout in British election history

My feelings exactly!  Of course, they are tinged more than somewhat by my detestation of the stupid, vile idiocy of Jezza's so-called 'momentum' philosophy which has proved utterly disastrous in every country in which it was ever tried.  Also, it is driven by fear of what a Labour government - today! - would mean for my country.  As Ms. Jacobs puts it:

In its historic heartlands, the end of Labour can’t come soon enough. It is a stillborn populist movement that has mummified hideously into a metropolitan protest group. Its story is tragic. Within 30 years of its launch, bohemian Bolshevism had smothered the hopeful pragmatism of its rank-and-file.

Of course, the extinction of Labour Bolshevism might result in the growth of the il-Lib-non-Dem party but, at least for the moment', they do not appear to have their political coshes and knuckle-dusters to the fore!

 

 

Well, Hillary's visit went down like a bowl of sick!

To be honest, I barely noticed that the ex-First Lady had graced these ancient shores but, happily, The Coffee House spotted it and today we had some commentary from Brendan O'Neill.

Mr. O'Neil was not amused!

She’s here with her daughter Chelsea — the dictionary should replace its definition of the word nepotism with just a photograph of Chelsea Clinton — to promote their book, The Book of Gutsy Women.

That’s clearly how Hillary and Chelsea see themselves. As gutsy women. I guess it does take a great deal of courage to live in vast mansions and earn £190k ($250k) for a speech to filthy-rich bankers about diversity or whatever. I wonder if the numerous women adversely affected (to put it politely) by the various Hillary-cheered wars in the Middle East think the Clintons are gutsy? Someone should ask them.

Apparently, she ticked us off for leaving the EU:

She’s called into question the wisdom of our democratic vote to leave the EU. She is ‘concerned’ about where the UK is heading. You shouldn’t ‘separate yourself from Europe’, she said. ‘Democracies need to stick together.’

Mr. O'Neil puts her right but I doubt he will receive any thanks!

We’re not separating ourselves from Europe, Hillary. We’re separating ourselves from the EU. Europe is a vast continent that has existed for aeons; the EU is a bloated, bureaucratic nightmare that has only existed, in its current form, since 1993. We’ll be fine.

And, Mrs. ex-First Lady, when we need your advice, we'll ask for it.  It appears that even the American public can do without it judging by your electoral record!