DUFF & NONSENSE!

The Sunday Rumble: 25.2.18

 

So, farewell then, Billy Graham, er, who were you?   His name is very familiar, of course, but 'over here' he never made that much of an impact.  The whole notion of free-lance preachers 'hoopin' 'n' hollerin' fur Jesus' was simply too, too American!  As far as I know, which isn't far, he was never involved in anything horrendous and if he became a tad too 'palsy-walsy' with sundry politicos and presidents, well, that's the American way.  Also, I do admire his intelligence in deciding decades ago never to allow himself to be alone with a woman not of his family - shrewd fella'!

 

Naughty 'Winnie'!   So apparently Winston Churchill was "a very naughty boy" after all!  In so far as I have ever thought about it - not much! - it has always struck me as slightly odd that 'Winnie' never seemed to put himself about a bit with the ladies.  Mind you, given that 99% of his life was immersed in politics, most of it of the highest seriousness, I suppose it's not that surprising.  However, today I learn that he did have a little fling with the rather elegant Lady Castlerosse.

It didn't last that long and it's slightly interesting that he indulged in his naughtiness in the early '30s when his political career was somewhat in the doldrums.  [But see additional below]

 

Pheeeeew, another "fine run thing":   I hardly slept last night because yesterday evening my Kindle started playing up.  Don't you just hate it when 'techie-thingies' go wrong, you know, like the lead breaking at the end of your pencil, that sort of thing?  But when they are really, really 'techie-thingies' I am distraught and helpless and, yes, you're right, hopeless, as well!  I know that if I don't get lucky after I have pressed every button on the 'techie-thingie' I will have no choice but to ring 'SoD' - yes, I know, I know, 'the horror, the horror'!  He, of course, will get all grumpy and shout down the 'phone that he told me how to do all that last time!  However, in proof that old Billy Graham was right after all when he assured us all that there is a God, Amazon sent me yet another advert for something or other but I noticed in the small print that there was a "Contact Us" button, so I clicked it more in desperation than hope.  Well, heavens to Betsy and all that sort of thing, I followed their suggestions and - lo, my Kindle is working again!  So, now I can look forward to pressing on with Richard Lamb's book "Churchill as War Leader".

 

Dumb or dumber?   I refer to the students of Oberlin High School in Oberlin, La, who, according to The Miami Herald, saw that one of their fellow pupils had written the symbol for a square root in his exercise book and they took it for a diagram of a

gun and called the police who then searched the student's home.  What can one say, except "Duh!"

 

'Me no go no where'!   Perhaps the least surprising news so far this year is that Mr. Xi Ping Pong, or whatever his name is, is determined to be 'Luler of the Universe' forever and ever, so help me Mao Tse Tung!

 

And no, he is definitely not waving goodbye, not for at least another 25 years.  To know him is to love him and you better believe him when he says he has ways of making you love him!  And to think that I once had slight hopes for his leadership of China, ah well, no fool like an old fool!

 

Happy anniversary, Matt:   The very best cartoonist of them all, 'Matt' from The Daily Telegraph, is celebrating 30 years of 'chuckle production' at the newspaper.  The main thing about his cartoons is that they are deadly accurate but above all, funny!  Here is a prime example from the days when, God help us, 'Cleggy' was deputy prime minister.

 

 

Gillard's gone and Australia regains its common-sense:   Julia Gillard, of course, was the incomprehensible PM of Australia, a defect  which, in a way, was a relief because it meant that grumpy old Brits like me couldn't understand most of the balderdash she used to spout.  Amongst it, I now learn, was a decision to cut all contacts between Australia and the Israeli intelligence services.  Apparently, they had been "very naughty boys and girls" and used fake Australian passports in a plan to bump off a Hamas thug.  Happily, sanity has returned to the Aussie government who have publicly thanked and praised the Israelis for an intelligence tip-off last year that saved hundreds of lives in a foiled plot to bring down an Airbus A380 due to take off from Sydney.  Aussie/Israeli relationships are back in the groove.  Hat tip to The American Thinker.

 

No, no, 'Winnie' was a proper gent!   The story up above which I lifted from the 'Sunday prints' has been roundly slapped down by Andrew Roberts who has been engaged for the last four years in writing a biography - another one?! - of the great man.  You can read it at The Coffee House.

 

I must be a masochist:   Why do I do it?  It was only a few weeks ago that I finished a book detailing the utterly disastrous and unbelievably stupid campaigns, in Gallipoli and then later in Norway, rammed through by the late, not-quite-so-great, Winston Churchill.  Now I am reading something of the shambles he organised in France on the outbreak of war, and in the Med whilst trying to deal with the French fleet.  Yes, I kind of knew about it but not in so much detail.  When I become PM I may have to dig him up and have him shot for gross incompetence! 

 

 

No more rumbles today

 

 

In which Cpl. Duff politely, very politely, disagrees with Col. Tim Collins

Col. Tim Collins, former commander of the Royal Irish Regiment, needs no introduction from me.  He was the man who made the memorable, and impromptu, speech to his troops in 2003 prior to the invasion of Iraq.  I attach a copy of it at the end of this post.  However, after, of course, requesting 'permission to speak, Sir', I must express my doubts over his views that the 1917 battle of Passchendaele was a victory.  It was necessary because it helped to take some of the pressure off the beleaguered French.  Also, it inflicted gross casualties on the Germans, just as it did on us, but they could ill afford the losses where-as we could at least take some comfort from the imminent arrival of American troops.

As I have often repeated on this topic, the essential problem in WWI was how to get an infantryman across 300 yards of open ground against fast-firing artillery and machine guns firing at the rate of 600 rounds a minute?  There never was any solution to this conundrum - until the tank was invented.  Alas, this came too late and the technology was above the competence of the day.  Also, there was no time to work out sensible tank/infantry tactics.

I understand, and sympathise, with Col. Collins' irritation with what he calls the "Blackadder" view of the war but, exaggerated though it be, there is much truth in it.  By and large our commanding Generals were useless, as was most of our political leadership.  The constant drive to attack, attack again, and then attack some more, was unthinking stupidity of the highest order.  The plainly obvious indications were that in early 20th century warfare, all the advantages were with the defence, not the attack.  Had we adopted that approach and concentrated our efforts on increasing the strength of the navy so that our embargo grip on the throat of the Germans was even fiercer, the war might have ended earlier and with much lower allied casualties.  The 'Just Crack On' school of military (non)thought survives to this day, as we saw in Afghanistan.

Here is Col. Collins' impromptu speech to his troops in 2003 which is a fascinating read although I suspect that parts of it might have made some of his troops gulp!

"We go to liberate, not to conquer.

We will not fly our flags in their country. We are entering Iraq to free a people and the only flag which will be flown in that ancient land is their own.

Show respect for them.

There are some who are alive at this moment who will not be alive shortly.

Those who do not wish to go on that journey, we will not send.

As for the others, I expect you to rock their world.

Wipe them out if that is what they choose.

But if you are ferocious in battle remember to be magnanimous in victory.

Iraq is steeped in history.

It is the site of the Garden of Eden, of the Great Flood and the birthplace of Abraham.

Tread lightly there.

You will see things that no man could pay to see

- and you will have to go a long way to find a more decent, generous and upright people than the Iraqis.

You will be embarrassed by their hospitality even though they have nothing.

Don't treat them as refugees for they are in their own country.

Their children will be poor, in years to come they will know that the light of liberation in their lives was brought by you.

If there are casualties of war then remember that when they woke up and got dressed in the morning they did not plan to die this day.

Allow them dignity in death.

Bury them properly and mark their graves.

It is my foremost intention to bring every single one of you out alive.

But there may be people among us who will not see the end of this campaign.

We will put them in their sleeping bags and send them back.

There will be no time for sorrow.

The enemy should be in no doubt that we are his nemesis and that we are bringing about his rightful destruction.

There are many regional commanders who have stains on their souls and they are stoking the fires of hell for Saddam.

He and his forces will be destroyed by this coalition for what they have done.

As they die they will know their deeds have brought them to this place. Show them no pity.

It is a big step to take another human life.

It is not to be done lightly.

I know of men who have taken life needlessly in other conflicts.

I can assure you they live with the mark of Cain upon them.

If someone surrenders to you then remember they have that right in international law and ensure that one day they go home to their family.

The ones who wish to fight, well, we aim to please.

If you harm the regiment or its history by over-enthusiasm in killing or in cowardice, know it is your family who will suffer.

You will be shunned unless your conduct is of the highest - for your deeds will follow you down through history.

We will bring shame on neither our uniform or our nation.

It is not a question of if, it's a question of when.

We know he has already devolved the decision to lower commanders, and that means he has already taken the decision himself.

If we survive the first strike we will survive the attack.

As for ourselves, let's bring everyone home and leave Iraq a better place for us having been there.

Our business now is North.

 

This one could run and run, my life already!

There's nothing quite like a really rich, stinky-poo, political/legal brouhaha, provided, of course, it is somewhere far from home.  Now, as y'all do know, there is no keener (if not strictly kosher) supporter of the state of Israel than me.  However, I have never quite warmed to Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu - not, of course, that it is necessary to 'lurve' political leaders - and it is true that I silently cheered him on when that ineffably dim-witted prig, Obama, tried to come on all superior.  There is, I suppose, only one key measure of an Israeli prime minister and that is whether or not he leaves his embattled nation more or less secure than when he took office.  I would judge, from this distance and looking "through a glass darkly", that he has been successful.

However, it appears that in other areas he may have been "a very naughty boy" and the Israeli police have urged that criminal proceedings should be taken against him.  The final decision will rest with a man who possesses the  most Jewish name since Shylock, the Attorney General, Mr. Avichai Mandelblit, who was hand-picked for his legal job by, er, well, Mr. Netanyahu, actually!

"Oi vey, my life already!", I can hear him muttering!  This is the stuff of a truly great play, and if only God had seen fit to make me a great writer, as well as a great director and actor - and I heard that! - I would dearly love to write it.  But of course, the final act has yet to play - watch this space!

 

Feeling cheerful? I'll soon put a stop to that!

I was looking at a map of the Middle East this morning.  Not a pretty sight!  

I was prompted to it by an article over at The Coffee House by Mr. Seth J. Frantzman (no, me neither!) who informs us that President Trump is not alone in his ridiculous tweeting habit.  Apparently, that thug, Recep Erdogan, who runs Turkey these days, has taken exceptional displeasure at a tweet by the Foreign Minister of the U.A.E., a certain Sheik Abdullah bin Zayed.  Here's a photo of these two, er, 'lovelies' taken in happier, non-tweeting days! 

 

Alas, young Abdullah forgot his diplomatic niceties and recently tweeted to the effect that Turkey had committed a war crime in 1916 - shockin'! shockin'! - and the Turks were not amused!  The Mayor of Ankara threatened to rename the street in which the U.A.E. embassy is situated after some Turkish military commander from the Ottoman era.

 

Of course, this diplomatic hissy-fit is merely part of a gradual re-alignment of powers in the Middle East which, quite apart from national egotisms is further bedevilled by fundamental - and I do mean fundamental! - religious differences.  As I have mentioned before, my knowledge of the Middle East is limited to the end of runway #2 at Bahrein airport where I lived in a tent for nearly a year in the early '60s with occasional forays across to what was then called the Trucial Oman states to 'play at soldiers'.  Needless to say, like so many Englishmen before and since, I instantly turned into a desert-lover!

 

I assume that buried somewhere in the Foreign Office there are some Middle East swots who actually have a detailed knowledge of affairs in that perpetually blood-soaked region.  Mind you, as you can see from my map, it is a colossal area and apart from the actual delineated nations, there are swarms of sub-groups most of whom, these days, are exceedingly well-armed as well as ferocious.  My advice, as 'an old Middle East hand', is just keep the hell out of it - but be nice to the ones with oil!

 

 

A question to which I have no answer

Why are you not surprised?  Is my abysmal ignorance on so many matters a bit of a give away?  Ah well, your favourite oracle must remain silent on the latest example of rampant Trumpism in which he has let it be known that he intends to recognise Jerusalem as the capital of Israel and to put American tax dollars where his mouth is by building a new embassy in that city.  Thus, the question arises, in the words of those great historians, Sellars & Yeatman, is this "A Good Thing" or "A Bad Thing"?  No more than three volumes are permitted by way of answers!

Frankly, I'm not sure.  In a virulently anti-Trump blog I grace with my presence from time to time, they say "Even Russia, along with Palestine, Jordan, Turkey, Saudi Arabia, UAE, Egypt, Qatar, Morocco, Kuwait, and Iraq, opposed Trump's decision".  Well, I'm tempted to say that if that bunch of corrupt, murderous rascals are against it, then I am tempted to be for it.  Another complaint is that somehow, in some way, the, er, "peace process" will be disrupted, to which one can only reply, "What peace process?"  

I leave it to my wise readers to tell me what to think! 

 

 

I say, it's gone awfully quiet . . .

I had nothing to say yesterday - waddya mean ya never noticed?  Not because I was overly busy, or because my computer-thingie was broken - although it is playing up a bit and, of course, my IT manager is away in Czechia trying to drink the place dry, but the fact is that there is not much happening in the world.  'Fat Boy Kim' has gone very quiet possibly because, at last, he is feeling the 'yuuuuuuge' weight of China pressing on him.  I keep picking up the odd item here and there in the media to the effect that China has stopped this, that or the other in its dealings with North Korea and so perhaps 'Fat Boy' has realised which side his noodles are buttered, er, if you catch my meaning!

The other news, or to be precise, lack of news is that emanating from 'The Trumpeter'.  I can't remember the last 'tweet' of his to reach the headlines.  Happily for him, or at least his PR people, the rabble of media 'honkers 'n' hooters' are totally focused on Hollywood and/or - and this is incredible - themselves!  'Hoonoo' that so many of those famous TV faces with their serious demeanour, smart suits and coiffed hair-styles whose words we depend upon for an analysis of current affairs were actually raving, drunken sex maniacs?  And then, of course, there are those peculiar, slimy and very smelly fish that swim in the foul waters of Washington and who have been exposed as suffering with terminal greed.

I look further abroad for signs of trouble  but even the Middle East seems to be in a catatonic state of shock after that young 'A-hab the A-rab' tipped the hitherto solidified state of Saudi Arabia on its head.  Oh, I'm sure there are many things going on below the surface but no-one seems to have a clue as to what they are let alone what the results will be.  Likewise, Europe is like a badly designed automaton whose clock is running down but still continues trudging round in circles because its German mechanic is otherwise occupied.

So, it's all very peaceful - which is ominous!  Still, at least it has (temporarily!) stopped me from droning on and on and on.   

 

The Sunday Rumble: 19.11.17

Brace up!   Yes, I do realise that, like me, you have just stumbled out of bed and swallowed your toast as you shuffled round your kitchen in your 'jimjams' with a mug of tea clutched in your hand - oh, alright then, coffee, if you are American - and having slumped down before your computer, the very last thing you want to look at is this photograph, but 'Man Up!', you don't come to D&N for a good time, er, in fact, I'm not sure why anyone comes to this blog at all but that, perhaps, is a question for another day, in the meantime cast your eyes on this delicious photo:

Warms the cockles of your heart, doesn't it?  Sublime young love!

Now, for goodness sake, mop up the tea/coffee from your keyboard!

 

Zimbabwe: Out of the frying pan into the ovens!   So, that nasty mass-murderer and thief, Robert Mugabe, has, well, not so much been overthrown as politely shown the door.  And on the streets the mugs the people are celebrating which is a bit odd given that the man who is taking over is - wait for it! - another mass murderer and thief, Emerson Mnangagwa, who made his name (if you can call it that) by overseeing the slaughter of tens of thousands of Ndebeles in Matabeleland.  Well, good luck with that one, Zimbabwe!

 

"This most Marie Antoinettish of monarchs-in-waiting":   Ouch!  Now, if I was Prince Charles ("Which thank the Lord I'm not, sir!"), I might burst into tears at that cruel - but spot-on accurate - jest.  Thank heavens that Julie Burchill is unlikely ever to write anything about me!

Prince Charles wearing traditional Saudi uniform (image: Getty)

Alas, poor Charles, being an archetypal "straight-backed chinless wonder" (© John Osborne from Look Back in Anger) has earned a lashing from Ms. Burchill because one of his early letters has come to light in which he displays some vintage, one might almost say, 'rotting', anti-Semitism.  I will not attempt to paraphrase darling Julie - I wouldn't dare! - but do read her piece, it is the equivalent of one of those lashings that our Arab friends enjoy so much.

 

Pure, undiluted acid - delicious!   I just 'lurve' The National Review.  Normally it provides a serious commentary, mostly on American politics, but occasionally, perhaps provoked by the stinking swamp, they lose their 'cool' and just let rip!  Today, Mr. Kevin D. Williamson has had his muzzle removed and been let off the leash.  Alas, whilst he obviously has a deep and abiding detestation of Mr. Steven Mnuchin, who is Trump's Treasury Secretary, Mr. Williamson forgets his gentlemanly manners and stomps all over Ms. Louise Linton, Mr. Mnuchin's third wife who, whatever else she is, is gorgeous!

 As The Sun (We love it!) put it, it obviously shows that Mr. Mnuchin has a good eye for figures!  Anyway, I will leave you to check the link and enjoy Mr. Williamson's obliteration of the lady but as a taster, this is what he thinks of Mr. Mnuchin:

Mnuchin, formerly of Goldman Sachs, is pure Wall Street malignity in concentrated form, a guy who looks like he was born wearing a blue suit and braces. And that, in itself, is okay: A little Scrooge McDuck–style sphincter-clenching is kind of what you want in a Treasury secretary. But Mnuchin is not satisfied to be a pure example of one kind of awful: He has to adulterate his Wall Street awfulness with Hollywood awfulness. You’ll see his name in the credits of a few big-budget movies (including the recent Wonder Woman film and The LEGO Movie) and on a bunch of campaign-donation checks written to Barack Obama, Hillary Rodham Clinton, John Kerry, Al Gore, Kamala Harris, and other erstwhile friends of Wall Street. But movies are where his heart is.

Crikey!

 

Better watch out, the US Navy is about!   In view of the multiple collisions involving ships of the 7th Fleet - there have been five so far this year! - it is being proposed that all US ships must have a rowing boat in front of them carrying a sailor with a loud hailer!  According to Mr. Rick Moran at The American Thinker, the reason for this spate of collisions is not at all clear but I have a sneaking suspicion that our favourite American ex-matelot from deepest Arkansas may be a conduit for some of Barney Magroo's hooch produced 'up in them thar hills'.  Only a suspicion, mind!

 

 

No more Rumbles today

 

Feeling cheerful? I'll soon put a stop to that!

Well, actually, it's not me, it's the editorial in this week's 'Speccie' that will bring on the 'glums'.  Referring to the Middle East in general and Iraq in particular it would appear that we, that is, the West, 'huffed and puffed and blew the house down' but alas, now we realise that we have neither the means nor the energy and certainly no will-power to build it back up.  Thus, whilst the ISIS gang have been forced, well, actually it now appears that they were bribed, to depart from their last strongholds, it also appears that Baghdad and Tehran are all set to form a Shi'ite alliance.

As the 'Speccie' reminds us, it was precisely this threat of Shi'ite dominance that kicked off the Sunni revolt in the first place.  Apparently, in the course of the, er, 'campaign', the Americans had dropped so many bombs that they were actually running short of ammo! Today, of course, the Americans are facing up to the prospect of a truly serious war, perhaps even nuclear serious, with 'Fat Boy Kim and they need Middle East distractions like a hole in the head.  As for our puny  British efforts, following the last gasp exertion of the Iraq war, it is plain for everyone to see that Britain is no longer a serious military power.  In that 'collapse of stout party' scenario lies the ingredients for a 'Good News/ Bad News' discussion, however, the fact is that the inexorable decline of British military power has been on-going since, well, we can all argue about the exact date but certainly for very many decades.  If our 'in-glorious leaders' could accept the fact and come to terms with it we might save some face and, more important, some money and blood.

 

Taxation - Arabian style!

So it was just the money he was after!  Why am I not surprised?  I refer, of course, to Mohammed bin Salman (MbS), the new, young, dead good-looking, ruthless ruler of Saudi Arabia.  Having shocked the world by seizing and locking up in a luxoury hotel dozens of the richest men in Arabia, which means some of the richest men in the world, I wondered what he was going to do with them?  I suspected - hoped? - that perhaps there would be a parade to a nearby scaffold where various limbs and appendages would be chopped off, er, after removing the gold rings and the Rolex watches first, of course.  But no, according to Zero Hedge, it was just a good, old-fashioned robbery, or putting it more politely, a tax demand, er, with menaces!  Again, according to Zero Hedge, the takings - I use the word advisedly - could amount to $800 billion.  Crikey, with a budget due next week, I hope old 'Phil 'the Pill' Hammond and his pen-pushers in the Inland Revenue don't get any ideas like that!

 

A delicious Saudi stew

Well, I call it 'delicious' but I suppose it depends whether you are chewing it, or it is chewing you!  In the wee small hours of last night I was listening to the estimable Stephen Sackur who conducts many of the interviews in the HARDtalk series on the World Service of the BBC.  Mr. Sackur is worth listening to because, whilst he always remains polite, he is also exceedingly persistent in pursuing answers to his questions.  Last night he was interviewing Jamal Khashoggi, a Saudi journalist and political exile currently residing in London.  If this link works you may be able to hear it:

 http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/w3csvps8

As I have remarked recently, the revolution - and I use the word deliberately - that has taken place in Saudi Arabia is truly jaw-dropping, and as far as I know, it came out of what appeared to be an empty desert without any warning!  The 'perp', so to speak, is Crown Prince Mohammad bin Saud, usually referred to as 'MbS'.  I have always thought of the ruling class in Saudi as a gerontocracy but 'MbS' is a mere stripling of 32.

With incredible daring (and possibly some humour!), 'MbS' has locked up scores of the richest and most powerful men in Saudi Arabia inside the most luxurious hotel in Riyadh.  Apparently they may face charges of corruption - surely not!  Or, of course, some of them might be released eventually with the help of a generous/eye-watering contribution to certain coffers not a million miles from MbS himself!  Who knows?

Apparently claims are being made that 'MbS' is determined to bring down the religious autocracy which has gripped Saudi Arabia since - well - since forever, I guess.  Of course, and here the irony is delicious, he will do so by autocratic means!  Perhaps his policy is best summed up in that famous line from 'Teahouse of the August Moon' which depicted, post WWII, American efforts to teach the Japanese democracy: "They're gonna learn democracy if I have to shoot every one of them."  Like all revolutionaries, 'MbS' is shrewd enough to conjure up a threatening foreign foe and given the religious differences between Shia and Sunni then Iran is the perfect choice.

Please, dear reader, do not groan too loudly when I describe the forthcoming adventures of 'MbS' as truly Shakespearean! 

 

Sometimes I just yearn for the Cold War

Well, life was so much easier then!  The 'Rooskies' were bad, the Yanks (and little us) were good and everyone else had to choose sides.  But that was then, and today is, well, to quote a favourite expression of this blog, "a bugger's muddle" and no-one is quite sure of anyone or anything.  For example, take the Middle East in general, and Saudi Arabia in particular.  Now, if ever a society seemed set in orthodox, religious and conservative concrete it was Saudi but, as we are just learning, that was then and now is, well, I'm not sure what it is!  However, I am deeply grateful to Mr. John R. Bradley, a tremendous Saudi Arabian swot - poor chap! - who has written a fascinating article in this week's Spectator.

Apparently the iconoclast responsible for shifting the Arabian earth on its axis is Mohammad bin Salman (MbS), the 32-year old crown prince.  Amongst his, er, accomplishments is allowing women to drive and permitting men and women to mix socially after sacking the entire religious police who were responsible for enforcing those restrictions.  In addition, and more dangerously, he swooped on the Ritz-Carlton Hotel in Riyadh which, hitherto, had been the luxurious base for all the mega-zillionaires of Saudi Arabia in which they conducted their nefarious transactions.  Apparently, MbS, had his security forces surround the place, turf out any foreign visitors but lock and seal all the entrance/exits so that now the Ritz-Carlton is the most luxurious prison in the world!

Perhaps most critical of all his actions has been his decision to ally himself, discreetly but effectively with Israel to form an anti-Iranian pact.  Apparently he has been helped and/or encouraged in this by Jared Kushner, Donald Trump's son-in-law.  Say what you like about 'The Donald' but he seems to have a clearer idea of Middle East possibilities than 'Obamarama'!

 

 

 

Pretty 'stoopid', Priti!

What is it with these politicians, of which Ms. Priti Patel now stands - just! - as a typical example of brainless stupidity?  Did she really think that old 'Bruiser' Boris would allow her to go tramping all over his patch?  And what did she think she would achieve with all those rich, tough, Israeli practitioners of truly real-politik?  Their entire lives have been spent ducking and diving, and when necessary, fighting and killing to keep the state of Israel in being.  Did she really believe that a graduate of economics from Keele 'university' would be able to play them along?

And what impeccable timing - not!  Just as Mrs. May is desperate to demonstrate that she's the boss, Ms 'Pathetic' Patel offers herself up as a candidate for execution.  They don't actually go in for chopping off heads these days which, in some ways is a pity, because Ms. Patel wouldn't miss hers given that there appears to be nothing in it!

 

 

'Is this a missile which I see before me?'

I was intending to write something useful and informative on the history of the Balfour Declaration - well, a man may hope, may he not?  At least, given my self-declared ignorance of the subject, it would have been brief!  Of course, in my usual thieving way I would have helped myself to most of an article at The American Thinker by Michael Curtis who seems to know where-of he writes - and I do urge you all to give it a read.  At the delicious centre of this extra-ordinary act by Lord Balfour, aided and abetted by that Welsh wizard, Lloyd George, was a nice mixture of altruism allied with self-interest.  I learned one thing that amazed me and that was the friendly agreement signed up to by both Chaim Weizmann and Emir Faisal ibn Hussein, soon to be king of Syria and then Iraq, which encouraged the establishment of a home for the Jews with the rights of all to be safeguarded.  Alas, that didn't last long!

So here we are today, virtually a hundred years on, and a great deal of blood has flowed under the bridge!  Today we read that the Israeli Air Force is conducting joint aerial war exercises with nine other countries.  Meanwhile, that bastion of conservative Arab solidarity, Saudi Arabia, is roiled in an internal conflict in which some of the most powerful - and richest - of their citizens have been arrested.  At the same time, it is reported that a ballistic missile was intercepted on its way to Riyadh which, according to Saudi sources, originated from Iran.

It seems to me that there are two questions to be asked and you will not be surprised that I am unable to answer either of them!  First, in the language of those master historians, Sellars & Yeatman, was the Balfour Declaration "A Good Thing" or "A Bad Thing"?  Secondly, what the hell is going on in Saudi Arabia?  Answers on a postcard, please!

 

 

The Sunday Rumble: 5.11.17

I may have to go back to bed:   Crikey!  I shuffled up here to my eyrie in my jim-jams, opened my computer-thingie only to be immediately immersed in American history - and my cup of tea is now cold!  I then, so to speak, hesitantly stuck a finger into the 20th 21st century by attempting to accept a Kindle loan book from the generous TBH but that didn't work - why am I not surprised?!  Apparently they do not permit inter-national book lending but there again, 'whoonoo' you could even lend Kindle books? Well, Big Henry did but he's a real swot.  Then I took a degree course in American history by reading all your comments to the post below and the result is that I need another quick nap!  Alas, SWMBO has other ideas but rest assured "I shall return"!

 

There is a God:   Just as I finished putting on my winter woollies ready to go out in the garden - it began to rain!  What can one say except, "Oh dear, what a pity, never mind!"

 

Sand storms in Saudi Arabia:   What the hell is going on in Saudi?  Zero Hedge provides the nuts and bolts but putting them together to form a coherent structure is beyond me.  From my distant and woefully ignorant view, Saudi has always seemed to be set in concrete but suddenly the behemoth has started to move.  Quite where it is going no-one seems to know.

 

Bugger! Now the sun's shining!   Bloody English weather  . . . back later.

 

Sorry to ruin your lunch:   But now it begins!  At long last Clinton inc. faces exposure.  The FBI have now released hundreds of internal documents relating to their, er, 'investigation - both of them! - into 'Hillbilly's habit of sending classified information via her totally insecure private e-mail device.

Former FBI Director Comey let her off twice saying, in effect, nothing to see here, move along!  Of course, that was prior to the election in which it was supposed that she would sweep to power but, golly-gosh and whodathunkit, she lost!  Now the GOP-controlled Senate Judicial Committee will really-really try not to dribble over these papers as they work out what to do with her. "Let me count the ways"!

 

More "Grant" reviews:   Over at The National Review, one of my favourite American political sites, George Will reviews Ron Chernow's bio of Ulysses S. Grant.  He favours it immensely, not just for its fair assessment but also for its 'readability' which, he suggests (and he's a very naughty boy!) is lacking in much of contemporary American history writing.

 

Who needs Guy Fawkes?   These days the Tories are proving more than capable of wrecking the House of Commons all on their own without the need for barrels of gunpowder.  I suspect, nay, I fear that the 'Corbynistas'  are poised to dance triumphantly on the ruins as they get their chance to ruin the entire country.  Cheers and make mine a large one!

 

Anyone want a headache?   If so then I can oblige in three words: The Balfour Declaration.  On this anniversary there have been various articles on the subject both for and against and the only characteristic they share is that they all give me a headache!  However, as you all do know, I am the giving-sharing type and so I invite you to discuss the pros and cons in the commentary, er, but don't look for any guidance from me - I haven't a clue!

 

What goes around comes around #7386:  I am obliged to the snappin', snarlin' curmudgeon who runs I Hate The Media which I read daily.  Today he offers this:

 

In case you missed it:   Well I did but happily Peter Hitchens featured it on his blog.  A live debate on the pros and cons of the Russian revolution between him and the increasingly fatuous George Galloway who, needless to say, declined to wear a poppy.  Worth a watch:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H1Z3D8S4Qqo&feature=youtu.be

 

 No more Rumbles today

 

 

When he's right, he's spot on!

I refer to that 'ginger ninja', that bellowing bully boy, that honker 'n' hooter, Donald Trump, aka, incredibly, as the President of the United States.  I have, by and large, refrained from commenting on his presidency thus far because I have no idea where he's coming from, let alone where he wants to go!  I simply tighten my seat belt and close my eyes.

Even so, some things  stand out with clarity and deserve a roar of approval, such as his recent decision to dump the corrupt, useless and virulently anti-Semitic UNESCO organisation.  Stephen Daisley spells out the reasons in an excellent article at The Coffee House.  Personally, I wish 'The Donald' had carried out his threat to walk out of the entire UN farrago altogether.  All it does, as far as I can tell, is to provide a veneer of respectability to sundry crooks, robbers, mass murderers, fanatics and anyone who wishes ill on us in the west - and we pay for it.  Well, as the late, great W. C. Fields once said, "Never give a sucker an even break!"

ADDITIONAL:   No sooner had I written the above when I read an article by the combined editors of the National Review(NR) whose collective views I take seriously because they really are independent thinkers and know where-of they speak.  I never could understand Obama's policy towards Iran, especially the 'deal' that allegedly tied the nuclear hands of that lunatic government.  The mere fact that Obama and his media chorus praised it so highly was enough to raise my doubts.  Equally, Trump's decision to dump it down the toilet has produced squeals of concern from the usual suspects.  

In effect, the NR view is that it was a long-overdue action but much will depend on how it is executed:

Trump’s speech, appropriately, addressed much more than the nuclear deal. In frank terms, he made the case against the terroristic theocracy in Tehran and described its threat to the U.S. and the region. He sketched in outline a strategy to pressure the regime on all fronts, especially focusing on the nefarious role of Iran’s Revolutionary Guard. All of this was to the good, although much will depend on execution; the administration doesn’t yet have a strategy to check Iran’s growing clout in Syria, and we must remember that the regime has the ability to hit back against us, both in Syria and in Iraq.

Go to it, Mr. President, but watch those foreign policy wonks like a hawk!

 

 

Sometimes burying your head in the sand is sensible

For some time now I have been aware of ominous signs - and please note the plural form. Each taken singularly would produce my usual shrug of the shoulders and a muttered, "What will be, will be".  After all, I have lived through sundry disasters which, whilst being a bloody nuisance at the time, eventually sank into the past and life went on.  Also, I must confess that being elderly and therefore lacking that natural swagger the young enjoy it may just be that I am feeling my frailty.  Even so, and allowing for the tricks that memory plays especially when you have decades of the damned things to remember, it seems to me that Shakespeare's line was exceedingly apt, "When troubles come, they come not single spies but in battalions".  Or to put it another way, for most of my life it was just one damn thing after another but today we might get the lot in one big hit!

Today I fear there is a gathering of various "troubles" any one of which could be disastrous but if they arrive all together the result could be cataclysmic.  The leader in this week's Spectator confirms my worst fears.  It seems obvious even to an economic illiterate like me that this government simply lacks the guts and even the knowledge to face up to the advancing financial tsunami.  I was no fan of George Osborne as Chancellor but he did make an effort to cut the eye-watering over-spend of his government with the eventual aim of reducing government borrowing.  He never achieved it but, dammit, he tried.  Today, it seems to me that they are making no efforts at all and because many of the big nations are in a similar fix then sooner or later, I suspect sooner, this gigantic 'Ponzi scheme' will collapse under its own weight of borrowing and wreak havoc.

Then there is America!  Since WWII it has been a bulwark in world affairs.  It's power might not always have been exercised wisely but by and large it was on the side of the angels and stood up to the powers of absolute evil.  But that was enabled because it had a functioning government.  Today, under Trump, the government of the USA is 'walking wounded' and, alas, many (but not all) of the wounds are self-inflicted.  Over at the NRO, 'The Kraut', with his usual wisdom, seeks to comfort us by suggesting that whilst Trump is a self-inflicted stress test, the fundamentals of the American constitution are, just, holding up under the strain.  I hope he's right but it seems to me from 'over here' that America is in turmoil and there is still nearly four years of it to go.  Not, I hasten to add, that 'the madness of King Trump' is the sole cause.  The Democrat party and their lickspittles in the media have, if possible, gone even madder!  Where will it end?  I don't know but I fear for America.

Needless to say, a divided and distracted America leaves the global playing field wide open to those nations eager to rule over it.  Increasingly China flexes its not inconsiderable muscles, followed by all the 'wannabe' bully boys like Russia, North Korea and Iran.  And yes, you're right, 'it's being so cheerful as keeps me so young!'  In the meantime, I must just finish digging that hole in the sand ready for my head!

 

 

The Sunday Rumble: 9.7.17

Sometimes there are simply no words:   The media are reporting on an incident involving a Muslim woman, presumably a mother, carrying a small child in one arm - and a bomb in the other - which she detonated.  Beyond belief!

 

Can't wait to read this one:   Via the good - nay, excellent! - offices of Arts & Letters Daily, I have come across an article by Arnold Kling (no, me neither) at the National Affairs site.  The heading reads: How Effective Is Economic Theory?  Good question, can't wait to read the answer!

 

Oh God! Another week of plink-plonk:   Yes, it's the Wimbledon season again and, my God, tennis is a total bore!  And it's so slow!  There has been talk of speeding things up a bit by, for example, only letting them bounce the ball twice instead of 23 times, making it a one shot serve not two, or doing away with net calls.  I would insist that they go back to "the good old days" and do away with all those chairs and umbrellas these 'athletes' laze about on between games. Either let them stand for a minute or better still just make them change ends and get on with it!  Oh, and topless tennis for the ladies - natch!

 

Nor am I that keen on all those 'rugger-buggers':   Alas, even after 78 years I still haven't got the hang of rugby.  I became mildly interested in the All Blacks vs. the Lions but, alas, I couldn't watch it because my ex-best friend, 'Rupe', had snaffled it onto his eye-wateringly expensive TV channel.  Thus, I had to listen to the radio commentary provided by TalkSport but it might just as well have been in Mandarin because I couldn't understand a word of what they were describing.  Just one bunch of testosteronic hearties bashing into another bunch - such fun!

 

Should she go or should she stay?   That is the question facing Mrs. May and her Conservative party.  Instinctively, one feels that after such a monumental balls up, she should go and go quickly.  However, that would free up the Tory party to indulge in extremes of stupidity as they all fight like cats in a sack to produce a new leader.  That, of course, would play right into the hands of 'Jezza' and his Comintern - please note that I have not placed inverted commas round the word Comintern because that is exactly what the leadership of the 'Labour' party has become!

 

A proper pukka gent of the first order:   I give you, Major Nana Kofi Twumasi-Ankrah of the Household Cavalry who has just been appointed as an equerry to 'Her Maj'!

 

According to The Telegraph, he moved here from Ghana with his family in 1982 and attended Queen Mary University and then the Royal Military Academy at Sandhurst.  Even if only armed with a furled umbrella, I think I would rather have him on my side than in opposition.  Well done, Major!

 

AN ABSOLUTE DEFINITE MUST WATCH TONIGHT:   This is another of the 48-odd films which are in my Top Ten!  It stars Sandra Bullock and George Clooney and if that makes you think it's another light as a feather comedy not worth ten minutes of your time - then think again!  It's called 'Gravity' and it is absolutely terrific.  It's on ITV2 at 7.00pm.  Set your recorders - that's an order!

 

A Shropshire lad? Well, maybe!   Good old 'Arts & Letters Daily' does it again!  This time they have nudged me into memories of A. E. Housman and his curious collection of poems known as "A Shropshire Lad".  I still remember my instant attraction to them as a young schoolboy so I was delighted to follow their link to an excellent article in The New Yorker which attempts to get to grips with this strange, prickly scholar whose poems  have become synonymous with 'Englishness' even if he hardly ever set foot in Shropshire!  Well worth a read - and then give the poems a try as well!

 

No more rumbles today

 

 

The real war

This post continues from the last in which I urged caution in exactly how we re-act to Islamic terrorism on our shores.  I start on the basis that it is always necessary to treat governments with suspicion - especially one's own!  As our current election has shown, and as the last American one confirmed, our politicians are not very bright.  Of course, it's easy to be condescending because as private subjects (or citizens), we are not required to wrestle with the complexities of various desperately intricate policy decisions which we leave to the politicians.  However, when those decisions begin to shift the parameters of individual liberty then "we the people" (to quote a phrase) need to be exceedingly alert.  That is not to say that nothing must be changed to deal with new circumstances, our own people being slaughtered on our own streets is intolerable and, to quote yet another well-known phrase, "something must be done!"  However, it is critical that whatever legal or political changes ensue they must be intelligent and they must produce results, not further and greater problems. 

In the meantime it is necessary to keep an eye on the larger picture far outside the shores of this 'septic Isle', so it is extremely useful that The Spectator has reprinted an article by Douglas Murray first published on 2014 which points to the very heart of the Islamic problem - the war, and it really is a war, between Sunni Saudi Arabia and Shia Iran.  The timing of this reprint, which is an absolute 'MUST READ', is impeccable given the somewhat startling news in the last two days that Saudi has taken extreme measures, short of war but only just, against Quatar and other Gulf States.  The attitude of the West to this coming conflict is, to say the least, exceedingly tricky.  Under Obama, the USA backed Iran and the Shias but now Trump has shifted to the Saudi side.  There is, it seems to me, a rank and ignorant outsider, little to choose between them.  But, dammit, that's what politics is all about - choosing!  Happily, sort of, our input is, and will remain, minimal - but that will not save us from the tsunami that might arise.

 

 

Hard a'starboard, 'Admiral' Trump!

Well, whatever else you can say about 'The Donald', he's not afraid to take decisions!  Of course, like just about every other President, one cannot be sure of the wisdom until all those bloody "events, dear boy, events" work themselves out.  Whatever, from now on it's farewell Iran, hello Saudi Arabia!

How much easier life was back in, er, 'the good old days' when one simply dismissed all Muslims as scallywags and one just got on with the job of bossing them all about.  Now, one has to choose which particular scallywag to support and which one to denigrate.  Obama had his eight year 'love in' with the Persians and a fat lot of good it did him.  In their usual dextrous fashion they relieved him of oodles of cash and did nothing in return.

Anyway, now it's the Saudi's turn to bask in the American sunlight but at least they seem to be willing to pay for it which is extraordinary given that American fracking will eventually force them into bankruptcy!  So from now on it's 'up the Sunnis' and 'down with the Shias', er, or is that the other way round?  I dunno but I'm sure 'The Donald does!

 

The Sunday Rumble: 21.5.17

Aaaaaargh, it's that wedding again!   I shuffle up here to my attic, switch on this computer-thingie in order to read the Sunday papers (without which, of course, I would have no opinions about anything) and all I see is page after page after page telling me about 'The Wedding' - which is the one thing I already have an opinion on!  My dears, the whole thing looked ghastly and the 'yuuuuge' number of kiddie-winkies let loose to inflict their mayhem obviously required the use of several Tasers!  Sorry to be grumpy but obviously my invitation went astray in the post so I am not inclined to be generous!

 

The vicar's daughter reminds us of biblical truth:   'The good lord giveth and the good lord taketh away' - or something like that, my biblical studies, like the rest of my studies, were never very good.  Anyway, that Mrs. May, having come on as more socialist than Aneurin Bevan suddenly whips out her cosh and gives us poor, old-age pensioners a whack.  Apparently, the £300-odd quid that that nice, well brought up, Mr. Cameron used to send me and the missus every winter to pay for a sack of coal to keep us warm in the winter, is to be stopped.  I am shocked, I tell you, shocked!  Come back, Dave, I never meant to call you 'dim'!

 

That Peter Hitchens 'is a very naughty boy':   It's worth reading him in The Mail on Sunday because it saves you the trouble of taking a cold shower!  After dishing out various kicks and punches aimed at our sloppy thinking he ends his commentary today by providing a tip as to who is up and who is down in the 'Power Stakes'.  He suggests that you should watch and note who visits whom.  The one who visits is the junior, as in President Macron visits 'Mutti' Merkel, and 'The Donald' visits the king of Saudi Arabia.  'Nuff said!

 

"The horror, oh, the horror":   There is some advantage in living in a rain-swept, chilly island when you consider that yesterday, in 'San Fran' (where else?) they had a "Summer of Love" parade in which the participants were stark naked.  And no, nothing on earth would induce me to publish photos of the event.

 

Fox is fuxed:   A few years ago when I was able to contribute to the upkeep of my 'ex-Best Friend', Rupe, and his sundry wives, I used to be a keen watcher of Fox News.  One of my favourite programmes was called "The Five" in which five commentators discussed current events.  Obviously, Fox being Fox, most of them were Right-wingers but they always had a 'stat-Leftie' present in the somewhat unlovely shape of Bob Beckel.  I liked him because he raised grumpiness to new levels.  He was also, on occasions, quite funny but his disdain for all things conservative was often vituperative.  Last week, this doyen of the progressive movement was fired - for making racist remarks to a black employee  Simply too, too delicious!

 

Oh no - say it ain't so!   Having ducked and dived my way through the saturation coverage of Pippa's wedding, suddenly a thought occurred - Harry and Meghan are probably next!  I think I may sail round the world on one of those titchy sailing boats!

 

Find that brolly fast!   The Met Office is forecasting a heatwave - and we all know what that means!

 

Tragedy or farce?   There is a small story in The Telegraph concerning a South African hunter who was crushed to death by an elephant.  He was a professional hunter leading a party of his customers when they blundered into a herd of elephants which went berserk.  One of them lifted the man using its trunk but was then shot and in collapsing crushed the man to death.  I confess that at first I smiled but then I learned that the man had five children and so I gave myself a slap!  What do you think?

 

No more rumbles today

 

 

Obama gives Macron a French kiss - eeeeeew!

Does this pompous poke-nose have nothing better to do these days except interfere in other nations' elections?  Has he learned nothing from our Brexit referendum in which he raised his snooty nose and told us Brits that we would be at the end of the queue if we had the temerity to ignore his sonorous words?  Needless to say, he received the traditional 'archers' salute' by way of reply!  Actually, I'm surprised he has the time given all that golf he has to play, plus ultra-long holidays in swank joints in Hawaii despite his expressed worries for his daughter who is 'home alone' in 'Noo Yawk'!  Plus, of course, he has been busy cashing in all those hefty cheques he earned 'boring for America' at the behest of sundry 'zillionaires'.

Mind you, I forgive him everything for the example he has set for nouveau riches everywhere!   Take a look at the proposed 'Barack Obama Presidential Center' which, of course, is absolutely and definitely not a vanity project, oh, dear me, no, this will be a "transformational project for this community".  The community concerned is the South Side' of that haven of peace and tranquillity, er, Chicago, actually - yeeeees, quite! 

 

'Still 'n' all', as they say 'over there', if this, er, 'transformational project' manages to bring down the local murder rate to somewhere close to that of, say, Baghdad, then it will all have been worth while.  Mr. Thomas Lifson at The American Thinker (who is, of course, a very naughty boy!) is very taken with the, er, whiteness of it all. 

How all that whiteness will do over the years, as soot, grime, brutal winters, and acid rain take their toll is unknown. Future generations will get to draw their own conclusions.

 I suppose, given the news that Iran has just increased its defence budget by 145% courtesy of Obama's kindness/'stoopidity' (you choose), then the fact that within a generation it will look like one of Valerie Jarret's slum blocks will indeed be a tribute to this former Chicago community advisor!

 

 

History writing at its very best

I have finally reached the end of Dr. Christopher M. Bell's excellent history entitled Churchill and the Dardenelles and I cannot recommend it too highly.  Even thinking about how much sheer, hard, slogging graft it must have taken to plough through the volumes of documentation involved is almost enough to send me to bed for a week!  Not, mind you, that it was hard work reading it, on the contrary, Dr. Bell's pellucid prose remained crystal clear even as he strove to summarise even-handedly disparate events from disparate witnesses.  The book is an example of history writing at its very best.

 

When, in an earlier post, I mentioned that I was starting to read this book, I offered my opinion (as an ex-Corporal!) that anyone who thought that in 1915 they could drive warships 60-odd miles up an exceedingly narrow waterway against opposition on both banks was utterly bonkers.  Having read Dr. Bell's book my opinion is confirmed and the only surprise is that the mythical Field Marshall's baton which is said to reside in the knapsack of every soldier was not offered to me formally during my otherwise less than conspicuous service! I hasten to add that Dr. Bell is more circumspect in his conclusions.

Yesterday was ANZAC Day so it was an appropriate time for me to complete the reading of this book.  As Dr. Bell makes clear, Churchill, as First Lord of the Admiralty, was not a prime-mover in the landing of troops in Gallipoli and the gross slaughter that ensued could not be laid at his door but, of course, it was his naval adventure that set the scene and after that it was a classic case of "events, dear boy, events!" taking over. 

What is even more fascinating than the actual combat was the even more 'bloody combat' that ensued as all the leading actors strove after the event to justify their decisions and actions.  The book offers a truly masterful summary of the differing versions by different 'actors' which were offered up, especially by Churchill, to justify their parts in the tragic disaster.  Today we talk of 'alt-truth' and 'fake news' but do not under any circs think they are just a modern phenomenon.  Churchill, in particular, was a master of it!

If the art, and craft, of war and politics fascinates you, as it does me, then read this book.

 

 

Churchillian madness

Following my introductory post a few days ago on the subject of the Dardenelles campaign in 1915, I have moved with agonising slowness to Chapter 7 of Christopher M. Bell's excellent book "Churchill and the Dardenelles", in fact, I am almost as slow as the Royal Navy's approach was to this enormously ticklish operation!  The first thing that is worth studying is a map of the area:

 

 

Now regular readers of this blog will be aware that I write on naval affairs with all the expertise of an ex-Corporal - yeeeeees, quite!  So, I am entirely happy for any ex-matelots to correct me.  Anyway, the idea was to sail some British battleships and cruisers up those Straights and into the Sea of Marmara and then, all being well, on again into the Black Sea to join hands with our Russian allies.

 

Be honest - 'wotcha fink?'

 

Well, my reaction was and is that the whole scheme was utter crackpot lunacy!  Both sides of the Straights had forts and heavy gun emplacements built along them, plus hundreds of lighter and more manoeuvrable army howitzers, to say nothing of a huge collection of mines and, just to add another defensive 'delicacy', built-in and camouflaged torpedo tubes on both banks.  Did Winston Churchill, then First Lord of the Admiralty, with all the experience of a junior cavalry officer(!), seriously believe that the Navy could fight those ships through that obvious death trap?  Well, yes, he did!  What is worse is that virtually none of the senior Admiralty staff, including no less a figure that Jacky Fisher, was prepared to scotch the madness at the very beginning.

 

So the momentum built in the full knowledge of the fact that the Navy only had half a dozen converted trawlers to act as minesweepers and around 4 - 6 aircraft to act as spotters for the ships guns attempting to hit targets they could not see.  Fisher's opposition grew as the operation hit the obvious brick wall to which it was steaming but he still lacked the determination to resign as First Sea Lord.  Even so, it became clear that the only way to force a passage through the Straights was to deploy the army mostly on the northern bank in order to clear the gun emplacements - and there began the greatest tragedy of this useless farrago.

 

I will report again when I have advanced beyond Chapter 7!  In the meantime, buy the book, it is grim but it is illuminating.

 

 

 

The Sunday Rumble: 9.4.17

Jolly Good Show!   Yes, I am delighted to report that that awfully decent British chap, Mr. Lewis Hamilton, held off that damned pushy Hun into second place at the Chinese Grand Prix.  Unfortunately, due to my falling out with my ex-best friend, Rupe, because of his exorbitant charges, I was unable to watch the race on TV this morning but the BBC did an excellent job via the radio commentary.  And for the third day running we have a cloudless, sunny morning - hoorah!

 

Sod's Law will strike!   Apropos my last remark above, I have just been sitting on my patio drinking my coffee (and it's only April, for God's sake!) and the 'Memsahib' remarked that the sunshine had brought out so many insects including some beautiful butterflies.  Being a miserable Brit, of course, I instantly responded by reminding her that next week temperatures will almost certainly plummet and rain, if not snow, will certainly fall and kill off all the insects.  She simply rolled her eyes which I think was very disrespectful!

 

"Churchill and the Dardenelles":   Just bought this book by Christopher M. Bell which has received rave reviews.  To be honest, I know very little of this campaign (or mega-cock-up, if you prefer) so I am looking forward to learning something.  I gather that the author had to hack his way through a jungle of myths and lies and distortions in order to reach some sort of balanced judgment as to who was to share the blame.  Mind you, there is some sardonic humour to be had from the fact that even a hundred years ago, 'fake news', spin and good, old-fashioned lying were still the weapons of first resort!  I will provide some further commentary as I work myself into the book.

 

Dan Hodges tells it the way it is:   If you are a member of the Labour party, either an MP, or a local party official, or just a card-carrying member, then you should resign the whip, tear up your card, cancel your membership and stop your payments to the party.  Why?  Because, in effect, and following the farrago of the anti-Semitic Ken Livingstone being let off with a caution, today's Labour party is no better than Oswald Mosley's Blackshirts.  Read it and weep!

 

And if one cold shower isn't enough, try this:   Peter Hitchens in The Mail re-enforces the fact that so far there is absolutely no 'proof positive' that Assad was responsible for the chemical attack that prompted 'The Donald' to loose off dozens of rockets.  In fact he goes further by emphasising that most of the information (I wouldn't call it 'news') emanates from the murderous rascals who control the locale where the 'attack' took place.  Does 'The Donald' know something we do not, I wonder?  Or did he just get out of bed on the wrong side again?

 

Oh no!  Now I will have to choose!   Dammit!  I have only read the introduction to the Dardanelles book I mentioned above and already it is clear that I will have to choose between two of my 'heroes'.  To be honest, I had forgotten that Jackie Fisher was First Sea Lord at the time and he is one of my all-time 'heroes' because he, almost single-handedly, succeeded in dragging the Royal Navy into the 20th century.  Now I learn that he and my other 'hero', Winston Churchill, were at daggers drawn over the Dardanelles fiasco and each spun furiously against the other.  Who to choose?  Better finish the book first, I suppose!

 

I almost forgot The Good News:   How could I have let this slip by without a comment and a bloody big 'HOORAH'!  Justice Gorsuch has made it on to the Supreme Court.  Now all we need is for Justice Ginsberg to catch a cold and retire and the Republicans can lock down a conservative majority on the court for decades to come.

 

No more rumbles

 

 

Don't do it, Donald!

Before I make my main point, here's a question that is niggling away at the back of what passes for my mind.  Why is using gas as a weapon considered to be more evil than using high explosive?  I admit that I, too, find it repulsive but I can't quite work out why.  Anyway, the usual 'shlock-horror' news reports have followed Assad's decision to use it in an attack on his own Syrian people.  The other question that hovers is why?  It has provoked the 'The Donald' and, I would guess, 'Vlad the Impaler', too.  Where's the gain?

Two writers, Stephen and Shoshana Bryen, ponder the question at The American Thinker but come to no convincing explanation.  Assad's murderous attack came shortly after an American announcement that they were pulling back on confrontation with Assad in order to concentrate on their main aim of destroying ISIS.  The Bryens suggest that with American pressure off, Assad was fearful that 'Vlad' would ditch him and perhaps let his country "cantonize" into separate ethnic regions just so long as Russian bases were safeguarded.  In any event, Russian support for a separate Kurdish autonomy must have irked Assad enormously.

Now, Assad has provoked 'The Donald' into almost warlike fervour which will push 'Vlad' back into his arms.  At least, that's the theory, or one of the theories, to explain an act of seemingly total irrationality.  'The Donald' needs to think his response through very, very carefully which will not be easy considering his tendency to lose defence advisers at an almost weekly rate!  I can't help wondering if he is already pissed off with this politics lark which is already proving exceedingly tricky.  Yes, he enjoys the pomp and circumstance but for how long will he put up with the sheer intractability of the problems he faces?

 

 

A Texas 'Sheikdown'!

According to A E-P in The Telegraph, those 'good ol' boys down Texas way' are at it again.  'Ahab the Arab' tried flooding the market with oil/gas in order to drive down the price and put those pesky Texans with their cheap-as-sand shale gas out of business but, alas, American technology came to the rescue and those 'cowboys' simply produced the stuff even cheaper!

Now, 'Ahab the Arab' plus his partner in crime good friend, 'Vlad the Impaler', have done their very best to cut oil/gas production in order to drive up the price.  As a perfect example of the truth in 'ur wee Rabbie's' famous poem,  “The best laid schemes o' mice an' men / Gang aft a-gley”, the 'good ol' boys of Texas' kept on innovating so that now their oil and gas is even cheaper and they have now discovered that there are zillions and squillions more of it than had ever been thought possible.

The Opec oil cartel is waking up to an unpleasant surprise. Shale output from the Permian Basin in Texas is expanding faster than the world thought humanly possible.

The scale threatens to neutralise output cuts agreed by Saudi Arabia and a Russian-led bloc last November, and ultimately threatens to break their strategic lockhold on the global crude market for a generation.

"People just don't seem to realise how big the Permian is. It will eventually pass the Ghawar field in Saudi Arabia, and that is the biggest in the world," said Scott Sheffield, founder of Pioneer Natural Resources and acclaimed 'King of the Permian'.

What can one say to our Saudi and Russian, er, friends, except possibly "Oh-dear-what-a-pity-never-mind!'?  And by the way, memo to 'St. Theresa of May' - must remember to be awfully nice to that 'good ol' boy' in the White House even if he grabs you by the, er, you know what!

 

The Sunday Rumble: 5.3.17

Bumps in the Brexit road:   Nothing produced more sniggers from me than the prat-falls executed by the heavenly chorus of doom-laden hysterics who foretold the end of the world as we know it if we voted for Brexit.  We ignored them, or most of us did, and guess what - the end of the world was postponed!  Even so, it would be an equal folly to assume that divorce from the EU will not entail some collateral damage.  However, as we stumble-bum our way to freedom, let us not forget the increasing adversities that would have been inflicted on us had we stayed in.  In fact, such is the parlous state of the divided EU today that it is not beyond possibility that by the time we reach the end of our 'negotiations' there may not be an EU for us to leave!

 

Mind you . . .   To be fair, given the fact that the 'Shinners' and the 'Proddies' are about to kick off on round 193 of their never-ending punch-up, and that the 'Jock Nats' are eagerly looking for an Anglo - any old Anglo will do - to head butt, one cannot be absolutely certain that there will be a United Kingdom left to walk out of the EU!

 

I thought the Jews were smarter than that!   I was surprised - well, mostly because I had never thought about it before - to learn that the state education system in Israel, and particularly in East Jerusalem, was strictly divided on ethnic and religious grounds.  Needless to say, the Arab controlled schools concentrate their efforts on producing as many Islamic militants as they can, for example, the recent wave of knife attacks was traced back to such schools.  Far be it from me, a goy, to advise the Israelis but surely there must be a better system. Gidon BenZvi at The American Thinker has some suggestions.

 

Profile in courage? I don't think so!   There is a delicious example of American humbuggery to be found in the granting of the 'Profile in Courage Award' to President Obama.  Older readers will recall that this pompous award was based on the book Profiles in Courage written(?) by the late Jack Kennedy.  Like almost everything in the history of the mostly despicable Kennedy clan, this was a false claim because it became clear much later that it was his speech writer, Ted Sorenson, who wrote most of it - why am I not surprised?  Thus, it is deliciously appropriate that 'Ol Big Ears' is up for this fake prize given the fact that it was his friend and neighbour, the ex-terrorist, Bill Ayers, who wrote most of the book Dreams from My Father.  Read all the sordid details at The American Spectator.

 

 

Trump digs a grave:   The only question is whether he buries Obama in it or himself!  He has openly accused Obama of criminal behaviour without, so far, offering any proof.  That Obama was, and still is, capable of bending, or even breaking, the law is not something that would have me calling for the smelling salts.  Even so, such an accusation should, and must, be backed up by evidence.  So far Trump has not produced any although he has asked Congress to investigate the matter.  Whether they will must be doubtful given the lack of any substantial evidence - so far!  'The Donald' likes to live dangerously, let us hope he doesn't die of it, er, politically speaking, that is!

 

 

No more rumbles

 

 

"To err is human; to forgive, divine"

Thus sayeth the late Alexander Pope and as he was something of a deep thinker and I am not, I will not argue the point.  The phrase came to mind after I read a report on the recent military trial of a young Israeli soldier who shot dead an already wounded Palestinian terrorist who had been subdued fifteen minutes earlier.  The military court convicted the soldier of "voluntary manslaughter" and sentenced him to 18 months in prison, although the prosecution asked for 3-5 years.  The soldier's defence was that he thought the prisoner still posed a threat because a knife he had used was nearby and also he thought the prisoner might have a bomb-belt.

Needless to say, the result has caused a furore and divided the Israeli nation.  It rather reminded me of the case 'over here' involving a Marine NCO who 'offed' a wounded Afghanistan fighter after he had been taken prisoner and who was convicted and imprisoned and is now fighting to have his sentence reduced.

What can you say about such cases?  Not much, unless you were there and had detailed knowledge of the background and the particular incident.  So I will not say much except that, in general, executing PoWs is wrong and anyone who does it should be forced to face the consequences in a court of law.

 

'Yerdy-durby-burbles' stink of humbug

This blog prides itself on maintaining the very highest standards in 'elf 'n' safety' so I strongly advice you all to wear a face-mask to protect yourselves from the stench of Swedish humbug (than which, etc, etc) and also to have a sick-bag handy as you read on.  But first of all, a picture:

 

 

There you have it!  Perhaps the greatest collection of Leftie-Feminist humbugs the world has ever seen.  These stern-faced ladies are all 'Yerdie-durbles', aka: Swedes - oh alright then, turnips as well!  More than that they are the new feminist government of Sweden and they are all highly principled feminists determined, now that they hold considerable power in the Swedish government, to not only uphold feminist policies at home but also to demonstrate them around the world, starting with, er, Iran, actually!  So how did that go then?

Well, here they are slithering ooops, sorry, walking past President Rouhani, all of them carefully covering their hair, wearing trousers and overcoats.

Gosh, what a blow (no, no, not that sort - behave!) that was for feminine freedom!  Unfortunately, it did not go down too well with a truly brave woman, Ms. Masih Alinejad, the leader of a women's rights group:

Iranian women's right activist Masih Alinejad who urged Europeans female politicians "to stand for their own dignity" and to refuse to kowtow to the compulsory Hijab while visiting Iran.

Alinrejad created a Facebook page for Iranian women to resist the law and show their hair as an act of resistance, which now numbers 1 million followers.

"European female politicians are hypocrites," says Alinejad. "They stand with French Muslim women and condemn the burkini ban—because they think compulsion is bad—but when it happens to Iran, they just care about money."

Well, what with them being women and being Swedish it can only be a matter of time before they are given the Nobel Peace Prize.  Now, remind me, who was a recent recipient of that prize, and wasn't he a bit of a girlie?

H/tip t0:

http://blogs.spectator.co.uk/2017/02/shameful-hypocrisy-swedens-first-feminist-government

http://www.americanthinker.com/blog/2017/02/feminist_swedish_

government_wears_hijab_while_in_iran.html

 

Give the job to Sally Bercow

If we must, I mean, really, really must, have a Bercow in the headlines could we not bring back Sally into the limelight.  She is infinitely better-looking and does it all so much better than that utter twit of a husband of hers and in doing so she usually manages to flash a bit of inner thigh which is quite exciting for old geezers like me! 

 

Frankly, Bercow himself has passed from being a national joke to being an embarrassing national prat of the first order.  His outburst yesterday on the subject of President Trump's forthcoming visit was infantile.  I can't help wondering whether his bad-temper stemmed originally from some recent but yet-to-be-reported naughtiness by his wife, or whether he was worried about what might transpire should Sally meet Donald?

 

 

Whatever, it is long past time that parliament should rid itself of this pompous, insufferable poltroon and choose a new Speaker of the House.  Brendan O'Neill at The Coffee House spells out the rank hypocrisy of the man who complains about Trump's 'racism' and 'anti-feminism'.

Bercow, you see, this supposed hero of the refugees and Middle Eastern migrants temporarily banned from the US, voted for the bombing of Iraq. He green-lighted that horror that did so much to propel the Middle East into the pit of sorrow and savagery it currently finds itself. As his profile on the They Work For You website puts it, ‘John Bercow consistently voted for the Iraq War’. On 18 March 2003, he voted against a motion saying the case for war hadn’t been made, even though it hadn’t. On the same day he voted for the government to ‘use all means necessary’ to ensure the destruction of Iraq’s WMD.

[...]

Bercow was one of the authors of this calamity, one of the signatories to the Middle East’s death warrant, and now we’re going to let him posture and preen against Trump’s three-month ban on certain Middle Eastern migrants?

Is there a factory somewhere that takes in noxious waste, re-processes it and then churns out MPs like Bercow?  If so, we should bomb it!

 

 

The Sunday Rumble: 29.1.17

Er, not very subtle, Donald:   Although I do realise that you don't really do subtle!  Even so, I agree that Islamic immigration is a potential problem but using a sledgehammer to crack a nut is not perhaps the best solution.  I do hope you will tread a little more carefully when it comes to finance and trade matters., to say nothing of war and peace!

 

'California, off we go':   According to Zero Hedge, the State of California is moving inexorably towards secession.  Whilst Donald threatens to withdraw Federal funds from so-called sanctuary cities, such as LA and San Francisco, the State government is planning to make equal cuts in the money they send to the Federal government!  "There may be troubles ahead ..."

 

You want hash? We got hash!   According to Peter Hitchens at The Mail, if you are in need of a shot of decent hash, then 'you do need to get your arse down 'ere to Zummerzet'!  Apparently the Avon & Somerset Constabulary long ago gave up on the cannabis trade and now they have more or less surrendered on hard drugs, too.  Should you be caught in possession, the local Plods will offer you a three and half hour 'workshop' which, if you accept, means that you will not be charged. "Tough on crime, tough on the causes of crime!"  Jolly good show, move along, nothing to see here!

 

A smile from The American Thinker:   Not all that funny, I agree, but it's worth it just for a look at Melania's svelte figure!

 Also, rather appropriate given that she is suing The Daily Mail!

 

Let the pipes skirl for the death of Tam Dalyell:   He was a Scottish gentleman of the 'auld school' and a one-man awkward squad who throughout his long parliamentary life was never afraid to come to his own conclusions and then pursue them to the end.  Famously, he went after 'that woman' over the sinking of the Argentinian battleship, Belgrano, during the Falklands war which he designated a war crime, not that her defences were even dented!  Iain Martin over at REACTION has an even-handed summary of his life which is worth reading, including this tale:

Attempting to change the subject and take an advantage, Smith [then leader of the Labour party] asked suddenly why Dalyell had failed the test to become an officer during his National Service. He had been to Eton and was a Baronet. The army usually made allowances for these matters, surely? Smith said he had always wondered what had gone wrong. Tam had served only as a private. Why? There was a long pause. “John, it was something to do with me losing a tank on Salisbury Plain.”

 

Now this is interesting:   Courtesy of Zero Hedge here is a diagram showing the main countries sending and receiving immigrants.

The basic source was the United Nations so whether those charts are 'lies, damned lies or statistics', I do not know. 

 

Shakespeare and the death of Lincoln:   This comes under the heading of 'Whodathunkit' but only because I am an ignorant Limey with very little knowledge of Lincoln, partly because none of you 'Yankee-doodles' ever answer my plea for a Lincoln biography which is detached and not hagiography!  Anyway, I have just discovered that John Wilkes Booth, Lincoln's assassin, was (along with his two brothers) a distinguished Shakespearean actor of his day.  He had gained much approbation for his performance as Antony in Julius Caesar.  I learned this from a long essay in National Affairs on the subject of American love for Shakespeare which manifested itself last year during the celebrations of his death 400 years ago.  Also, I learned that Chicago - yes, Chicago! - was the national leader:

Chicago rather than London or Stratford-upon-Avon has been the Shakespearean cosmopolis this year. The Shakespeare 400 Chicago commemoration has featured 850 events at 120 locations for an audience of 500,000 people.

I will never be rude about Chicago ever again!

 

No more rumbles today

 

 

Nothing so il-became his Presidency as his leaving of it

You were right, I was wrong!  Even 8 years ago as he was about to take over as POTUS, I tried to be kind to Barack Obama.  I assured you, my readers, that he would not turn out as bad as you might fear but fortunately you were shrewd enough to mutter something like "Duffers has lost the plot - and his mind -  and I only read him for his Monday jokes!" or something like that.  And just to rub it in, at the very end of his Presidency, the 'big girl's blouse' has thrown a hissy fit and behaved not just abominably but dangerously and stupidly.  I always thought he was a bit of 'girlie', I remember remarking on his limp-wristed descent of aircraft steps which was always a dead give-away of his feminine side.

But now the bitch in him as come to the fore with his frantic and criminally stupid actions prior to the Trump take-over.  Tossing hand-grenades into the critical Middle East situation was pointless, dangerous and utterly irresponsible.  His crafty support for Planned Parenthood, the baby killers for profit, was disgusting and immoral and merely an excuse to let loose his corrupt (non)Justice Department on Christian organisations who oppose abortion.  Then, in one totally irresponsible hissy-fit, he tried his very best to ratchet up a confrontation between his own country (repeat: his own country!) and one of the most powerful nuclear powers in the world.

Trump should consider banging him and that 'Oirish thickoe', Kerry, into Guantanamo for the next 20 years!

STOP PRESS:  Now The Washington Times is reporting that Obama might try and squeeze his favourite judge onto the Supreme Court in the very few minutes between the end of one Congressional session and the beginning of the next.  It would be an extremely dodgy move and might well fail but would that stop an insane egotist like him?

 

 

I'm beginning to worry about that woman - no, not that one, the other one!

There was never much to worry about with the original 'that woman' but I am becoming increasingly uneasy over her current successor.  As I mentioned before, Mrs. May was a 'do nothing, say nothing' Home Secretary which, given her most famous speech in which she described her own party as "the nasty party", was perhaps "A Good Thing!"

Today she is reported to have laid into the American government in general, and the ineffable John Kerry in particular, for its sudden volte face towards Israel.  However, she has maintained the feeble stance of her own government by supporting the malignant proposition before the Security Council.  Presumably she thought she could hide behind the American veto but when it was suddenly withdrawn by the childish Obama she was left exposed and looking like the prize humbug she apparently is.

The Telegraph reports:

“We do not… believe that the way to negotiate peace is by focusing on only one issue, in this case the construction of settlements, when clearly the conflict between the Israelis and Palestinians is so deeply complex,” Mrs May’s spokesman said.

“And we do not believe that it is appropriate to attack the composition of the democratically elected government of an ally. The Government believes that negotiations will only succeed when they are conducted between the two parties, supported by the international community.”

Well, Prime Minister, if you really believe that "focusing on one issue" is wrong, why did you vote for it?  Also, we would dearly like to know what you will do when every vicious little anti-Semite and Islamist extremist in Britain begin their campaign of arraigning travelling Israelis who pass through London on the grounds that they are guilty of breaking international law as laid down by the United Nations?

 

President 'Elizabeth Violet Bott' enjoys a temper tantrum on the way out

I know, I know, another incomprehensible title especially to my American readers who, poor things, never had the opportunity to read the greatest children's book ever written - Just William by Richmal Crompton.  The 'hero', William, 11, leads a gang of 'very naughty boys' called 'the Outlaws' who create mischief and mayhem even when they are trying to do good!  Unfortunately, they are plagued by the constant presence of Violet Elizabeth Bott, the very spoiled daughter of the local millionaire.  She constantly thwarts their plans because if they do not fit in with her 'agenda' she instantly threatens, "I'll thcream and thcream 'till I'm thick!"

And that brings me to the 'big girl's blouse' who currently occupies the White House!  Furious that his chance of graciously laying the coronet on the head of a duly grateful Hillary Clinton, and determined to do down Trump in any way possible, as well as poking those jumped-up Jews in the eye with a sharp stick, he has indulged in the sort of hissy-fit of which Violet Elizabeth Bott would have been proud.  At a stroke, he has up-ended 50 years of American foreign policy by abstaining on a vote at the UN Security Council which would have stymied yet another attempt by radical Islam to get their fingers round the throat of the Israeli government; a government, I would remind you, that not withstanding their occasional errors of judgment, is the sole representative of democracy in the Middle East.

Thus, this petulant President has laid the groundworks for another fifty years of strife in the so-called 'Holy Land' but, of course, as the bombs go off and the rockets fly into built-up areas, he will remain undisturbed on his favourite Hawaiian golf courses where, in fact, he spent most of his useless presidency!

 

 

The Sunday Rumble: 18.12.16

That creepy coincidence thing all over again:   Lying in bed this morning I heard on the news that some distinguished quack called Heimlich had died.  Apparently he had invented something which subsequently was named after him as 'the Heimlich manoeuvre'.  Still being half asleep I assumed it was some sort of devilish clever tank manoeuvre invented by a German general in WWII!  Later, as I woke up properly I realised that Heimlich was actually a doctor and the 'manoeuvre' referred to was a means by which people choking to death could be saved.  Anyway, an hour later, sitting here before my computer composing the breathless prose that delights you all - and I heard that! - I took a swig of tea which instantly went down the wrong hole.  Cue: Duff flailing around desperately, crashing into the furniture whilst attempting to get some air into my lungs without drowning in tea.  Damn, how I wished I knew that Heimlich manoeuvre!

 

A bit of seasonal Shakespeare:   I was reminded of this yesterday and also it reminded me that I used to print the occasional poem on this blog for your delight and edification - sorry, did you say something? Anyway, as this one is sort of seasonal being wintery and keeps referring to "green holly" I thought it appropriate.  Also, as it contains some bitter recriminations concerning human nature it will appeal to all you Christmas grumps who can't wait for the season of goodwill to be over!

Blow, blow, thou winter wind,

   Thou art not so unkind

      As man’s ingratitude;

   Thy tooth is not so keen,

Because thou art not seen,

      Although thy breath be rude.

Heigh-ho! sing, heigh-ho! unto the green holly:

Most friendship is feigning, most loving mere folly:

   Then, heigh-ho, the holly!

      This life is most jolly.

 

   Freeze, freeze, thou bitter sky,

   That dost not bite so nigh

      As benefits forgot:

   Though thou the waters warp,

      Thy sting is not so sharp

      As friend remembered not.

Heigh-ho! sing, heigh-ho! unto the green holly...

 

 

   The Trump tsunami:   They should have cancelled Christmas in the Chanceries of the world and kept all those policy wonks at their desks trying to figure out how the world will change under President Trump.  I still don't think there is a full - or even slight - realisation of the way the world will move for all of us.  Ted Belman at The American Thinker provides a few clues and if even half of them come to pass then it will be exceedingly gulp-inducive!  NATO could virtually disappear because it costs the USA a fortune and it is virtually useless for combatting terrorism which Trump sees as the main threat.  Chinese arrogance is likely to suffer some bruises, in fact, it has already begun with Trump's telephone chat with the Taiwanese president.  'Vlad the Impaler' could become Donald's (and thus America's) NBF - New Best Friend.  The Palestinians need to get real because Trump is hacked off with the whole Israeli/Palestinian imbroglio and he believes, apparently, that the formerly soft, neutral line followed by Obama merely encouraged Palestinian intransigence.  Amongst the first things he might do is recognise Jerusalem as the capital of Israel by moving the American embassy there.  There is more, according to Mr. Belman so read his article and then start digging in! 

 

 

GDDS - the latest affliction on Mankind:   Er, well, to be exact, not

exactly the whole of Mankind just the dimwits who support the Democrat

party because this serious affliction is Galloping Democrat Dysfunctional

Syndrome in which the sufferers (who sniggered?) thrash around

helplessly blaming everyone and their uncles for Hillary's defeat.

Apparently, 'it woz the Russians wot dunnit', or if not them, then that 'dirty

rat' who runs the FBI, or, of course, it was the 'meedja', er, even if roughly

90% of them were Dem sympathisers.  Anyway, someone is to blame and,

of course, the fact that the Dem dimwits picked the most dislikeable

candidate they could find, a stupid, corrupt woman whose ego was only

eclipsed by her sense of entitlement had no effect on the outcome!

 

 

Shakespearean dribble:   According to the TLS, some cove has

written a book entitled Shakespeare and Economic Theory - yeeeeeees,

quite!  Well, it's obvious even from a slight knowledge of the scribbler's life

that money loomed large even from his childhood when dear old Dad was

wont to skim by bankruptcy with barely a shilling to spare.  But "economic

theory"?  Can't say I have ever come across that in the plays I have

studied.  Apparently, the author is much taken with Karl Marx - why am I

not surprised? - who was a great fan of 'our Will' thus proving that you can

fill a man with wisdom and he will still remain a fool!

 

 

Fancy a really good headache?   Oh, go on, give it a try!  Just click on

to an article written by Anthony Sudbery, a terrific maths/physics swot

who in no time at all will whisk you off to a land filled with cats which are

both dead and alive at the same time - such fun!  Yes, it's that dreaded

quantum theory lark again but somehow, even though I barely understand

it, it still has the power to fascinate.

 

 

'Brahms and Liszt?'  Not half!   For the benefit of my foreign

readers, the first half of my sub-title is taken from Cockney rhyming slang

- Brahms and Liszt = pissed!  See, you always learn something new here a

D&N, and yes, I'll have a large one, thank you for offering!  Perhaps the

main lesson to be learned from Damian Thompson's fascinating article in

The Spectator is not so much "Don't put your daughter on the stage, Mrs.

Worthington" as don't ever allow your daughter to marry a musician.  And

I don't just mean those hairy rock 'n' rollers, I mean those composers of

frightfully posh classical music.  The cockneys (or more likely some

knowledgeable music swot) had it dead right with Brahms and Liszt, both

of whom were Olympic-standard boozers.  So too were Handel, Mozart,

Beethoven, Schubert, Schumann, Liszt, Brahms, Mussorgsky, Tchaikovsky

and Sibelius.  Not that all classical composers were boozers, Berlioz and

Wagner preferred opium!

 

 

No more rumbles today

 

 

  But don't miss tomorrow's Funnies - there are some corkers!

 

 

 

 

Dangerous vapid-minded dimwits

Alas, a GRADE I GRUMP WARNING needs to be issued before I continue with this particular post and you should take note of it before reading further!  In an idle moment I switched on to the Parliamentary channel and watched an emergency debate on what Britain should do about Syria in general and Aleppo in particular.  I should have thought the answer was blindingly obvious - nothing!  But of course, the bleeding hearts on Labour's benches were pumping their red goo all over the place.  'Something must be done', they thundered, one after another, without actually spelling out what - exactly!  Several Tories seemed to agree with them and Boris's head was nodding so vigorously I thought it might fall off.

However, during the fairly short time I watched this farrago before my nausea overcame me, I kept hoping that one of these latter-day Clausewitz's would actually sketch out a plan and some detail of how the plan would be executed.  Do any of them realise that our army is now the smallest it has been since before Napoleon's days?  And that our Air Force is so tiddly that I believe we can only take part in about one operation a month in the Middle East.  As for our fleet, well, we just kissed goodbye to our last carrier and the rest of our miniscule navy would have a job holding a regatta in St. Jame's Park lake!

Also, one wonders, where will all those Parliamentary bleeding hearts be when the really bleeding bodies return in stretchers or worse still in body-bags?  How brave they are standing tall in the Commons calling for 'action this day', but how brave will they be when their constituents berate them for the slaughter of their loved ones in pursuit of a totally useless gesture.  And exactly how much fortitude will all those Labour MPs have when the their beloved NHS and old age pensions and social services are reduced to minimalist levels in order to pay for war?

Someone please pass me a sick-bag!

 

And if the 'Arkies' don't getcha then the Wahhabis might!

I have no hesitation in branding Mr. James Mullin as "a very naughty boy".  He has, without hesitation, given the time bomb lurking beneath the Clinton Family a sharp kick!  Actually, it is a topic to which I alluded a day or two back.  In The American Thinker, Mr. Mullin reminds us that the Clintons were in receipt of some seriously heavy 'dosh' from sundry foreign sources who obviously swallowed whole the much touted belief that Hillary was absolutely and definitely headed for the White House.  Amongst them was the, er, 'much respected and entirely proper' Wahhabi Oil Company who slipped the Clinton Foundation $20 million, entirely for charitable purposes, of course, and absolutely nothing to do with Clinton policies aimed at destroying American coal mines and oil pipelines, to say nothing of the startling shale gas discoveries in Texas.

As Mr. Mullin puts it:

If e.g. you are the Wahhabi Oil Company and you’ve donated 20 million dollars to try to keep a lid on American coal or natural gas production, only to find that your player can no longer throw the game, do you just chalk that up to fate, the vagaries of politics, the will of Allah?

I don't think so, and also, I don't see your average Saudi Arabian zillionaire having much in the way of a sense of humour, except when watching people having their heads chopped off.  It's possible that quite soon the Clintons might find a camel's head in their bed!  On the other hand, returning the money presents an exquisitely delicate problem.  The new Attorney General might decide to encourage his officials to take a close look at the accounts of the Clinton Foundation and $20 mill in, followed by $20 mill out, would be hard to explain.

In the meantime, I do urge Hillary and Bill - and Chelsea - to up their security!

 

And lo, God has oiled the Trumpian wheels of fortune

Honestly, I have absolutely no idea whether President Trump will be, in the words of Sellar & Yeatman, "A Good Thing" or "A Bad Thing" but already it is clear that he is definitely 'A Lucky Thing'.  First of all he was lucky enough to have as an opponent one of the most deeply unpleasant women in American politics.  If she had possessed an iota of charm or decency about her, I doubt that 'The Donald' would have won.

But now, I gather from Mr. Thomas Lifson at The American Spectator, that Christmas has come early for 'The Donald'.  Yesterday, the US Geological Survey issued their formal assessment of an oil/gas field in Texas:

A vast field of shale rock in West Texas could yield 20 billion barrels of oil, making it the largest source of shale oil the U.S. Geological Survey has ever assessed, agency officials said.

The Wolfcamp Shale geologic formation in the Midland area also contains an estimated 16 trillion cubic feet of natural gas and 1.6 billion barrels of natural gas liquids, the agency said in a release.

The discovery is nearly three times larger than the shale oil found in 2013 in the Bakken and Three Forks formations in the Dakotas and Montana, said Chris Schenk, a Denver-based research geologist for the agency.

In the interests of accuracy I should stress that this is not a new discovery but it is an expert assessment of its potential by oil/gas experts. It is also interesting to note that other oil/gas experts believe that there are even more such fields yet to be assessed.  Truly, Texas is the State that keeps on giving!

Meanwhile, back in downtown Riyadh, the brown stuff (and I don't mean oil!) is hitting the fan.  The House of Saud depends utterly and completely on oil exports.  They have no further income streams for the simple reason that they have no further industries, they even have to import their food.  So if dear old grandpa pops his clogs and leaves you a nice house in central London, don't be too quick to sell it.  It will not be long before all those Arabian 'princes', and there are plenty of them, will be 'doing a runner' towards safe havens like London.

And to add that extra dollop of delicious cream to this tasty morsel of news, the Russians will be mightily pissed off, too!  Oil/gas is one of their principal exports as well, so if they actually conquer Syria all they will own is a zillion acres of sand!

 

 

Peter Oborne pricks our bubble of self-esteem

I meant to write about this a few days back when I received my latest copy of The Spectator, for whom Peter Oborne seems now to be a regular contributor - so that's another reason to take out a subscription!  Anyway, in that edition, in effect, he posed the question - Aleppo or Mosul: what's the bloody difference? and I would stress the word 'bloody'!  Constantly, or at least, when there is some 'good' TV footage showing wrecked buildings and weeping mothers and children, we are bombarded with coverage of what those dastardly Russians are doing on behalf of their cruel glove-puppet, Bashar al-Assad, as they proceed, mile by mile, to reduce the city of Aleppo to the sort of condition we achieved in Hamburg and Tokyo in 1945!  Cue: horror and outrage aimed mainly at 'Vlad the Impaler' and his despicable nation, Russia.

What we don't see or hear quite so much 0f is the campaign to reduce the Iraqi city of Mosul, the last bastion of those detestable IS fanatics.  This may be because it is our brave RAF chaps who are assisting in the, er, 're-planning' of that unfortunate city as the campaign to wrest it from IS control proceeds inch by bloody inch.  Oborne summarises the predicament thus;

When opponents of the West try to reclaim urban areas from terrorists, they are denounced. When our allies do the same — think of Israel in Gaza or the Saudis in Yemen — we defend them. We judge Assad by one set of rules, and ourselves and our own allies by another.

Well, that's real-politik in action and the stench of humbug, and dead bodies, is overwhelming.  Like Oborne, I have no solution to the problem, it's 'the way of the world'.  Even so, I would appreciate a little less cant from our media and our politicians.  Also, it enforces my deep belief that we should remain as detached as possible from Middle East affairs until it becomes clear beyond doubt that our national interests are threatened.

In the meantime, read Oborne's article - oh, and take out a subscription to 'The Speccie'!

 

Time to review the legacy of 'Ol' Big Ears': #2

I posted on the subject of Obama's domestic legacy yesterday and today I turn, with even more uncertainty, to his foreign policy.  I stress the uncertainty because I have read enough history books to know that the complexity of foreign affairs is of such magnitude as to frequently fool the active participants themselves, let alone passing commentators like myself.  Even so, certain specific acts of foreign policy have been made by Obama and with the preceding caveat in mind I think we are free to comment.

First, there is his policy 'south of the border' in which the main move has been to bring to an end the deep freeze in American-Cuba relations.  I am happy to be contradicted by those with greater knowledge (plenty of them!) but it seems to me to have been a sensible move.  The Castro crime family is reaching its end and even were it to continue in some other guise I can see no advantage in the continuation of a 'cold war' that serves no useful purpose.  If the President was to freeze relations with every cruel and crooked tyrant in the world then the State Department could be cut by 90% - yes, I know, not entirely a bad thing!  The sad fact is that Cuba, like Venezuela and others will continue on the path of Marxist socialism which, of course, is merely a cloak for power-mad regimes to keep control, but in the end their people will erupt.  By maintaining 'friendly' relations, at least the people will not blame the Americans for their plight.

Next, God help me, I move to the Middle East.  The entire region is a fester-pot of incredible complexity in which it is impossible to pick sides, or at least winning sides.  At least, and very sensibly, Obama has kept American boots off the ground and has mainly confined himself to using stand-off air power mainly against IS which, in contrast to other factions is a clear and obvious menace to the West.  In addition he has aided other factions to fight IS but probably he realises that in the end there can be no certainty as to who comes out on top and what their nature will be.  In about a hundred years the books will come out to explain it all but in the meantime I think he is right to keep America at a distance.

Finally, on to the real menace in world affairs - China!  There is no doubt that sooner or later China will move to demonstrate its very real power.  Probably they will begin by enforcing their claim on jurisdiction over the South China Sea.  This absolutely and definitely has to be resisted even to the point of war - in my opinion speaking as an ex-Corporal!  This will be a problem not for Obama but for his successor.  Unfortunately, he or she(!) will already be on a back-foot because the Philippines under the leadership of another mouth-dribbling thug has decided to take a violently anti-American stance.  No doubt Chinese gold played its part in that particular volte-face and we can expect similar 'persuasion' to be applied to other nations in the region.  It may well be that the next American President will have to resort to economic 'warfare' against China before they send in the carriers.  Chine's economy is brittle to say the least and it will be a tempting target.

So, all in all, I think Obama's 'do little' policy has been about right and definitely preferable to some previous Presidents.  What follows, I cannot say, but I tremble, sir, I tremble!

 

 

'Travesties' by Tom Stoppard

I enjoyed a terrific Sunday!  I had booked tickets for SoD and I to go and see Travesties by Tom Stoppard at an incredible little place called The Menier Chocolate Factory Theatre in London. 

It was, apparently, once a real chocolate factory built by a French company in the 1870s and today much of the fabric of the building is preserved.  It is situated in Southwark Street so if, as we did, you arrive in London at Waterloo, you can just walk down to the Embankment by the London Eye and hop on one of the river cruise boats which ply their trade up and down the Thames.  Yesterday was a perfect, sunny Autumn day and the boat took us down past the Royal National Theatre and the Tat Modern, oooops, sorry, that should be the Tate Modern, and dropped us off outside The Globe Theatre, the site of the late, great Sam Wanamaker's glorious reconstruction of Shakespeare's theatre.  A short walk down Southwark Street and there was the Chocolate Factory.

The 'auditorium', if that is quite the word, is more or less a large rectangle.  The stage takes up one corner of the rectangular space and the audience sit along two sides of it.  The seating is mostly simple padded-bench-style but surprisingly comfortable.  The fact that you are almost within touching distance of the actors makes it a very intimate space.  It is, without doubt, an exceedingly eccentric theatre and thus, Tom Stoppard's Travesties fitted in beautifully!

I have tried once or twice to describe this play to you because once upon a time I directed it but I am painfully aware that it might have left you with the impression that it is an incomprehensible shambles, a travesty, so to speak.  The story, or stories, are told by the very, very elderly Henry Carr whose memories of his time as Vice-Consul to the British embassy in Zurich in 1917 are, shall we say, confused!  Even so, it is an historical fact - the sort of unconsidered trifle that only a man like Stoppard would pause to consider - that in 1917 Henry Carr sued James Joyce for the cost of a pair of trousers which Carr had used in an amateur production of The Importance of Being Earnest directed by the Irish novelist.  At the same time, in and around this theatrical dispute in 1917 Zurich, were Tristan Tzara, the inventor of Da-Da-ist poetry, and Vladimir Ilyich Ulyanov, aka: Lenin.

It is difficult to find the right word for Stoppard's play, perhaps 'a confection' is the closest to pinning it down although beneath the mad, helter-skelter froth of an incoherent storyline, there are some hard truths concerning the nature of art and politics.  I can't advise you to buy a script because most people find it quite difficult to read a play text of any kind.  This one is near impossible to read and make sense of unless you have been an actor or director.  Also, it requires a reasonably comprehensive knowledge of Tzara, Joyce and Lenin.  However, if you get even a sniff of a chance to see a production then DO NOT MISS IT!  The run at the Chocolate Factory is about to end but the word is that it will almost certainly move into the West End.  It will cost you more but you will never see anything like it again, particularly if most of the cast stay with it, especially Tom Hollander ('Corky' in The Night Manager).

Not to be missed, People!

(Incidentally, under the tutelage of SoD, who may know next to bugger all about Brexit but is an expert on travelling round London, I actually used a London bus for the first time in my life.  What an adventure!) 

 

 

The Sunday Rumble: 9.10.16

Warning:  We're entertaining neighbours this evening so I might be coerced co-opted into assisting with the preparations which might result in fewer 'rumbles' - and I heard that!

What, exactly and precisely, is Obama up to?   It appears that America and Russia are going toe to nuclear toe in Syria and since the fall out, in all senses of the phrase, is likely to be severe for everyone everywhere, it is not unreasonable to ask 'Ol' Big Ears' what he thinks he's up to?  Does anyone, outside of Syria, give a flying fig whether the mass killer, Assad, is or is not replaced by another mass killer?   All that Obama has achieved in Syria is to help suck the Russians in and because they have a very clear aim and are prepared to fight for it the chances of a nuclear confrontation are now higher than they were in the Cold War.  Well done, Mr. President and no doubt you can't wait to scuttle out of the White House and hand the whole stinking mess over to your successor - and I don't suppose you much care who it is, either!

 

An election or not an election:   With apologies to Will, that is the question!  Whether 'tis nobler in the mind for Mrs. May to fight on towards Brexit with only a small parliamentary majority and an increasingly vociferous opposition from within her own ranks, or, to take arms against a sea of troubles and go back to the country for a fresh mandate?  It must be tempting because Labour and the 'Kippers' are self-destructing and the 'il-lib-non-Dems' have virtually disappeared.  On the other hand there is a lesson to be learned from the 'Book of Dave', another prime minister who asked the People and the cheeky, ungrateful bastards gave him the 'wrong' answer!

 

Just a bunch of fat-knackers these days:   I am referring to modern British soldiers who, according to The Telegraph, are failing their fitness tests in increasing numbers. 

Shockin', shockin'!  In my day your average British 'Tom' had a hundred and one smart dodges to avoid ever being tested.  I, myself, was awarded a DSM (Distinguished Skiving Medal) for supreme ingenuity in avoiding such things and thus was never shown up as the skinny wimp I was - and still am!  Even worse, according to this story, the women are actually catching up with the men in fitness tests. 

 

Britain's own James Angleton:   And if you do not know who James Angleton was then you are either very young or very ignorant of CIA/MI6 matters which, of course, you should be unless you have the right clearance!

 

                James Angleton                                             Stephen de Mowbray

Angleton was a high-ranking officer in the CIA, or to be precise, the Counter-Intelligence Department of the CIA which was tasked with defending the organisation against Soviet infiltration.  Not surprisingly he quickly became obsessed with the notion of 'spies under the bed' which must have reached epic proportions when he discovered that his great buddy, Kim Philby from MI6, was in fact a Soviet agent.  Stephen de Mowbray was Angleton's equivalent in MI6 and he became convinced that there was a high level Soviet mole inside the British Security Service, MI5.  It's all great stuff, indeed, the stuff of many a tale by 'John le Carre' (aka: David Cornwall) the inventor of 'George Smiley' and himself ex-MI5 and MI6.  Anyway, le Mowbray has died and his obit is in The Telegraph and well worth reading, er, if spies and spy-catchers are your thing!

 

Is Amber Rudd MP a treacherous saboteur?   I have mentioned before that "I ha'e ma doots" about the lady who showed herself to be a loud-mouthed and aggressive supporter of the 'Remain' camp during the referendum.  For reasons beyond me, 'St. Theresa of May' chose her to be Home Secretary.  Now she has come out with a plan to make all companies list their foreign workers which has rightly offended many people as verging on a police state and thus put Brexit on the back foot.  Sack her - now!

 

No more rumbles today I have been consigned to domestic duties!

 

Never mind Hurricane Matthew, what about my 'phones?

I was ashamed of myself yesterday because I suffered not just one but two catastrophes and I was distraught, I tell you, distraught!  First of all my TV 'do-flicker-recording-thingie' stopped working - I know, I know, can you imagine?  True, I only record, on average, about one programme every two months and it is also true that I only actually watch one of them every six months but even so, it was unsettling not to have it working.

Then, an even greater disaster struck Chateau Duff - the bloody-bloody telephones went down!  Again, it is true that given my non-existent social life, nine out of any ten calls I ever receive are from charming and polite East Asians asking me if I am Mr. David Duff and then assuring me that they are not trying to sell me anything.  If that's the case, I respond, what shall we talk about?  I never quite catch the reply because I ring off!  Even so, it's not until these gadgets cease working that you suddenly realise just how essential they are to the fabric of your life.

Anyway, yesterday was fraught but then I turned on the 'telly' to the never-ending horror story that is the battle for Aleppo in Syria.  I will not describe it because I am certain you have all seen it over and over and over again.  Just as I was reaching for the OFF button the story changed to Hurricane Matthew which was in the process of flattening Haiti before moving on to do its worst to Florida.  That was when the shame hit me!  Here was I getting all uptight because my 'phones weren't working and there were people being blown to bits by bombs and blown away by storms.

I spoke to myself very severely and I can promise you that I will never whinge again!

 

The Sunday Rumble: 2.10.16

The Sunday Rumble due at platform one is slightly late today because of interference on the line!  First of all, as I indicated yesterday, my sad life has been suddenly enlivened by the prospect of the Tory party conference - I know, I know, it says so much about me! - and that will take some of my afternoon.  Secondly, in a moment of madness this morning, I actually bought a copy of the newspaper produced by my ex-best friend, 'Rupe'.  Decades ago, only the threat of an imminent WWIII would have stopped me from reading The Sunday Times (ST) but when 'Rupe', no doubt under pressure to pay for all those ex-wives he has accumulated, began charging me to read his internet copy I switched to 'Her Maj's Daily Torygraph' which was free.  Anyway, this morning, at severe risk of a double hernia, I staggered home with The Sunday Times which must have taken half a Brazilian rain-forest to produce and I am still ploughing through it.  Anyway, all of that is just to assure my regular readers, both of you, that some rumbles will appear during the course of the day.  Whether they will be worth waiting for I leave you to judge!

'Israel, O, Israel':  One of the first things I read in the ST was an article by Ari Shavit (no, me neither!) who was mourning the death of Shimon Peres.  At this moment I will not attempt to paraphrase his views, suffice to say that he believes that "Today it is manifestly clear that if a profound change does not occur soon, Israel's democratic and moral identity will be in grave danger."  Even with my sketchy knowledge of all matters pertaining to the Middle East, I have sensed that all is not well in Israel.  I will leave it to my Jewish friends to comment.

'Gal done good'!  I crawl at the kitten-shoed feet of 'St. Theresa' salivating over the elegant leopard spots!  Yes, I actually watched her entire speech at the party conference, the first time I have ever watched more than 7 micro-seconds of any politician, er, except when the bloody-bloody 'do-flicker-thingie' goes missing and I can't hit the 'off' switch.  She was commanding but more than that she spoke good common-sense and in this she was fully supported by David Davis who will actually conduct the process of us departing from the EU - and we absolutely and definitely will be departing!  "Free again; happy, happy me again"!

The 'ST' was, well, alright, I suppose:  It was good to see that a couple of my favourite writers (David Smith and Irwin Stelzer) were still scribbling.  I don't always agree with them but they're worth reading.  I hadn't realised that the inimitable Rod Liddle wrote for 'Rupe', I thought he was the preserve of us posh 'Speccie' readers.  Typically, he found the amusing side of the current kerfuffle over the Women's International Chess tournament which is to be held in Iran.  Some of the western ladies are refusing to attend because the mad mullahs are insisting that they must wear head scarves.  Naughty Mr. Liddle wondered whether the four bishops on each board would have to be decapitated, and the knights might be banned for their past misdeeds during the Crusades.

 

No more rumbles today

 

Gotta just lurve that 'Speccie'

It is becoming increasingly obvious that the writer of this blog - er, that's me! - is not an original thinker.  Well, after 11 years of pontificating, meandering and straightforward hacking it should be obvious!  Lest you doubt me here's another example, stolen without shame from this week's Spectator.  I never thought the 'Speccie' would ever replace the late, great Auberon Waugh but they managed it with the incomparable Rod Liddle, a man, like his predecessor, who approaches every topic from a unique angle.

This week, Mr. Liddle turned his sharp gaze upon the subject of the reptilian, Mr. Anjem Choudary.  For the benefit of my foreign readers, this ghastly, creepy man is a British-Asian, Islamic fanatic devoted to praising the works of ISIL and encouraging others of similar ilk to do their best to follow the instructions of that organisation.  I stress the fact that he encourages others because, of course, the snivelling coward would never dare to take action himself.

 

After several years of putting up with this obnoxious man, the authorities finally decided to 'feel his collar' and after a trial at the Old Bailey he has been sentenced to five and a half years, a sentence which most of the media think was decidedly too easy.

However, as the astute Rod Liddle points out, Choudary has not actually done anything!  As he puts it, in his inimitable style:

Mr Choudary and his pet halfwit have received their sentences largely, I think, for wishing the complete destruction of western civilisation. I too yearn for this from time to time, such as when I am forced to contemplate a semi-naked Keith Vaz instructing his Slavic rent boys to ‘Treat me like a bitch!’ or whenever I see or hear or smell Labour’s shadow Brexit minister, Emily Thornberry. Wishing for the destruction of an entire civilisation simply on account of these two porky weasels, or because Justin Welby has said something fatuous again, is of course a grotesque overreaction. But we all overreact from time to time. I remember my wife, whom I mentioned earlier, remark while watching an edition of Question Time featuring the comedian Eddie Izzard: ‘Christ help us, please let’s move to Russia.’ That was an overreaction, too.

Quite so!  I have lost track of the number of times during the dismal 'reign' of 'Dave 'n' George' when I have wished a sinkhole to appear in the English Channel and swallow up the entire country, men, women, and especially, the 'kiddie-winkies'!  Part of Choudary's 'crime' was to encourage like-minded Islamists to take themselves off to the Middle East and join the fight.  Like Mr. Liddle, I join that plea - the more of them that bugger off the better!

If Choudary’s injunction had been followed by the, what is it, ten or 15 per cent of British Muslims who approved of 9/11, Isis, the Taleban etc, it would have been the greatest contribution to internal British security since the Emperor Hadrian decided to do a spot of bricklaying. I’d have given Choudary a medal.

It was claimed that Choudary had encouraged Islamists in Britain to, in effect, practice a bit of head-chopping before they departed but according to Mr. Liddle there wasn't much in the way of evidence.  According to the 'Cocklecarrot' presiding over the court, Choudary had been insufficiently vocal in condemning the activities of militant Muslims.  Does that mean we all have to attend a public meeting once a week to denounce Islamic barbarism in order to prove what upright British chaps and chapettes we are?  I think not!

Anyway, buy yourself a copy of the world's oldest and 'bestest' weekly magazine - or better still, take out a subscription, or I might come round and chop your head off!

 

The Sunday Rumble: 21.8.16

The art - and craft! - of the eulogy:  I am provoked to this particular 'rumble' by an article I read via the ever-excellent Arts & Letters Daily.  It is a review of a book on the subject of eulogies which rather intrigued me because I have, on two or three occasions, been asked to deliver eulogies on dead friends.  Should you ever be invited to do it let me warn you that it's a damn ticklish business!  In the very nature of friendship you become aware of, shall we say, the highs and lows of a friend's character.  That's OK but it is the realisation that almost everyone at the ceremony is equally aware.  Too much gush and you will sound like a total hypocrite, too much honesty and the widow is likely to faint.  Minefield clearance is easier!

 

No, really, truly, honestly:   There is another interesting essay pointed to by A&LD on the subject of good, old-fashioned dishonesty in public discourse.  It suggests, among other things, that whilst we know that our leaders lie to us constantly we don't really care any more.  That can't be right, can it?

 

Another film for my Top Ten:   And yes, I know there are at least 38 films in my Top Ten but that merely goes to prove the breadth of my good taste!  Actually, this one is probably in there already but I happened to catch it again last night and I had forgotten how superb it is.  I refer to Master and Commander, directed by Peter Weir and starring Russell Crowe and Paul Bettany.  Nor should I forget the original writer, Patrick O'Brian, who invented two of the greatest characters in fiction.  Before you rush off to buy any of O'Brian's books let me warn you that they do contain a fair amount of sailing-ship jargon which is indecipherable to land-lubbers like me but if you develop the knack of skim-reading you can whizz past all that 'haul away the starboard fo'cstle main sail' stuff and just enjoy the yarns.  Or better still, just watch Peter Weir's superlative film.

 

They never stop:   I refer to the EU fanatics who run the closed-shop government of the European (dis)Union.  Apparently the Brussels bureaucrats are busy totting up the total medal-count of EU countries taking part in the Olympic games in order to prove that Europe is better than America.  Why can't they just concentrate on the important things, like their expense accounts?

 

'The evil that men do' just multiplies:   On hearing the news that yet another suicide bomber had wreaked havoc and horror, alas, I merely shrugged.  Then I heard that the 'perp' had deliberately targeted a wedding party and killed 50+ and wounded God knows how many.  Now what kind of twisted mind can actually choose a wedding party?  Surely, a happy, harmless occasion common to all people of all religions, everywhere.  Then I learned that the 'perp' was between 14 and 16 years of age.  Who, I wondered, could deliberately indoctrinate a kid of that age into doing their dirty work for them?  My mind wandered to that evil s.o.b. who got away with preaching hate to young Muslims here in Britain for over ten years before, finally, the law acted - even though he only received a sentence of 10 years and will thus probably be out in five.

 

"Oh, the horror, the horror!"   When it comes to matters of truly horrific, ghastly, car-crash ladies' fashion, I am forced to rely on my lovely - and elegant - e-pal, 'Sister Wolf', for guidance.  She deserves a Congressional Medal of Honour for courage above and beyond the call of duty in the way that she scours the depths of female fashion in order to warn the 'sisterhood'.  Here is a prime example:

  

It's the sort of thing you might find on a charity stall in support of the blind!  But actually, they cost - wait for it! - $795!

 

Well done, Sir Ian!   I have been a 'fan' of Sir Ian McKellen for some time now, not least because I was able to see him live in one or two of his Shakespeare productions and also his one-man show on the subject of Shakespeare and his plays.  However, with the exception of his film version of Richard III, I have not seen him on the screen and certainly not the film of Lord of the Rings in which he played, famously, the character of Gandalf.  I'm sure it was excellent and all that but it's just not my thing!  Even so, it speaks well of Sir Ian that, according to The Telegraph, he turned down $1.5 million to officiate at the wedding of some brain-dead American 'zillionaire' who wanted the 'ceremony' conducted in the style of Lord of the Rings with Sir Ian dressed as Gandalf.  I'm only a tad disappointed that Sir Ian never thought to pass the offer on to another distinguished 'thesp', er, me, actually!  I'd have done it for half the money - oh alright then, a quarter!

 

And here is my final - but loud - raspberry to the Olympics:   Apparently the 'lady' who won the female 800 metres has two internal testes and no womb or ovaries.  The 'ladies' who finished second and third have similar abnormalities.  I say bring back the tractor 'girls' of Sverdlovsk who used to win the hammer throwing competition back in the day!

 

No more rumbles today

 

Pity the poor Presidents

Before I begin today's sermon, oops, sorry, I mean 'post', let me tell you that today I am 'taking the waters' at Bath - and who said 'about time'?  I am driving an elderly lady neighbour over to a hospital for a knee operation and the 'Memsahib', always quick to seize any chance to cruise the elegant shops in Bath town centre was 'in like Flynn'!

Anyway, I would urge you all to take in an article by Andrew C. McCarthy in The National Review, a magazine that proudly puts the 'C' in conservative!  Unusually, in reviewing recent American strategy in the middle east, it takes a relatively soft line with Obama.

Inevitably, when there is a profound threat and an overarching strategic failure to apprehend it, disasters abound; and rather than becoming occasions for reassessment of the flawed bipartisan strategy, those disasters become grist for partisan attacks. From 2004 through 2008, the specious claim was that President Bush’s ouster of Saddam Hussein created terrorism in Iraq. Now it is that President Obama is the “founder of ISIS,” as Donald Trump put it this week.

Personally, I have tried not to be too critical of Obama's 'strategy' given that it complies with that propounded by that military genius, ex-Cpl. Duff, that by and large the Americans should keep 'boots off the ground' (except Special Forces) and use air and missile power to influence events.  Reading the details of the complexities of what is swirling and bubbling in the middle east makes it clear that we should keep our distance.  If the Russians are keen to be involved, we should hold the door open to them.  As those 'good ol' boys' in Texas, and elsewhere, have shown with their fracking abilities, oil, or at least, middle east oil, is no longer the strategic necessity it once was.

Whether or not the bellicose Mrs. Hillary Rodham Clinton understands that I do not know, it depends, I guess, who, having dumped zillions into the Clinton Foundation, has her ear!

 

The Sunday Rumble: 14.8.16

'Gotta lurve those Gershwin guys':   Last night's BBC Prom from the Albert Hall was devoted to the music of George and Ira Gershwin, than which, etc, etc!  It was performed by the John Wilson Orchestra, a new outfit to me, which consisted of a full mixture of symphonic and dance orchestras.  It was an enchanting evening only slightly spoiled by the gloomy knowledge that there will never be a greater collection of musical genius than that which accrued in 'Noo Yawk' in the '30s, '40s and early '50s of which the Gershwin brothers were only a part.

 

Just for you, SoD:   An interesting - well, interesting for Brexit nerds like me and SoD - in The Telegraph today, analysing how many of the doom 'n' gloom prognostications of the Euro fanatics have actually come to pass. Not that many, seems to be the summary.  Yes, there is the odd problem here and there, but then, when did we ever have no problems at all?  Also, not mentioned in the article, is the joyful fact that we have dodged the proposed new Euro Income Tax which is approaching the European horizon even as I write!

 

One of our Bishops is missing!   I confess that as it has become increasingly clear, except to a manic fringe of mouth-dribblers, that anthropological global warming is no real problem, I rarely visit those sensible sites, like 'Bishop Hill' because, well, what is there left to say?  Alas, the good 'Bishop' obviously feels the same because his site has more or less lapsed.  However, before it disappears entirely, I would like to express my thanks for his always scrupulous but deadly attacks on the loonies.

 

The best news I've seen in yonks:   There was some newsreel footage on 'telly' showing some Syrian people whose town had just been liberated from ISIS.  Some of the men were busy cutting off the beards they had been forced to grow and the women were running down the street cheering whilst some were busy burning their burqas.  it was a salutary reminder that not all Muslims are mouth-foaming, murderous loonies!

 

A simple question:   Would you have the nerve to dive into that Olympic cesspool swimming pool that keeps changing colour?  Riiiight, thought not!

 

But not all bad at the Olympics:   According to a report via Drudge, a Russian flag has been torn down and despoiled in the Olympic village.  I'm shocked, I tell you, shocked!  However, a 'Rooskie' official has said that it might have been a mistake by a cleaner!  Yeah, well, try telling  that to 'Vlad the Impaler' before he invades Brazil!

 

Not so much "'Allo, 'Allo" as goodbye, goodbye:  For the sake of my foreign readers, "'Allo, 'Allo" was an old BBC TV comedy(!) series set in occupied France during WWII.  I think I once watched about ten minutes of it and, well, talk about laugh, I nearly did!  Well, there's nothing that funny about the Gestapo, is there?  Anyway, the BBC in its infinite wisdom(not) has decided not to run a new series because some people might be upset by the appearance of Nazis!

 

No more rumbles today

 

 

The Sunday Rumble: 24.7.16

I do be a 'orny-'anded zon of the zoil:  Or at least, I will be later on when I set off with the 'Memsahib' and a couple of friends to undertake some fruit picking.  I'm not terribly good at it so most of my raspberries will probably be squidged and I will be in receipt of sundry bollackings from 'she who must be obeyed'.  I put up with it because I just love fruit crumble!

 

Brave fella' that Emmett Tyrrell:  He is the founder and editor of The American Spectator and he it was who forecast Trump's triumph at the Republican convention - eight days after he announced his run!  He has now doubled down on his bet by forecasting a Trump win in November.  According to him, republicans are divided over this and that but one single thing binds them together - their absolute determination to beat "crooked Hillary".  I think, over here, we sometimes underestimate the extreme detestation in which 'HillBilly' is held by an enormous number of Americans.

 

Jezza well and truly 'Hodged':   I still can't get used to Dan Hodges writing for The Mail on Sunday and so sometimes I miss his usually excellent columns.  His effort today is a corker.  It can be summed up in just one of his passages:

Jeremy Corbyn is not a nice or decent man. He is a coward. He is a hypocrite. He is a bully. And he is a fraud.

He continues by backing up those accusations with some recent history. 

 

Hate crime!  Really?   According to news reports this morning, the government has given the go ahead for so-called 'hate crimes' to be more severely punished and this will likely include saying publicly hateful things about other people.  Perhaps our new Home Secretary, the less than delicious Amber Rudd, will hand herself in for all the hateful things she said to Boris during one of those Brexit debates.

 

The Tour de France:   Is there anyone out there who really understands the ins and outs and the ups and downs of this ridiculous 'race' which takes weeks and weeks and which ends with everyone pedalling gently up the Champs-Élysées?  Still, I gather that it has been won by a frightfully decent British chap, so that's alright then!

 

That was a hard day's work:  We were driven by our friends to the fruit-picking site which has a fairly decent restaurant.  It was tough trying to choose a suitable red wine to wash down my lunch but I stuck to the task in hand and settled on an Argentinian Malbec.  After that the 'Memsahib' and our friends went off to pick fruit whilst I, valiantly, volunteered to sit in the sunshine and guard the ladies' handbags and finish off the red wine.  Damn, I'm good!

 

Turkey's in the oven:   I do not pretend to know what is really going on in Turkey.  I offer you an opinion piece from The Coffee House which intimates that the whole coup thing was a set up by Erdogan as a means for him to seize total power.  Read it and make up your own minds - but remember, that's how they do things in the Middle East!

http://blogs.spectator.co.uk/2016/07/president-erdogans-postmodern-coup/

 

John Kerry should sue the doorman at No. 10:   The other day, the Brain of America (aka: John Kerry) turned round suddenly and walked straight into the door of No. 10.  We all thought no damage had occurred, er, to Mr. Kerry (or to the door) but now I'm not so sure.  According to those rascals at IHTM, he has just issued the following statement:

“Secretary of State John Kerry said in Vienna on Friday that air conditioners and refrigerators are as big of a threat to life as the threat of terrorism posed by groups like the Islamic State.”

Yeeeeeeeeeeees, quite!

 

James Bond is a mystery:   I expect to be confused by John le Carré but not by James Bond.  However, I tried to watch the film Quantum of Solace tonight but gave up because I couldn't understand what the hell was going on or why!  I remember exactly the same confusion when I saw the film originally.  Is it the film-makers or is it, dread thought, me?  Don't answer that!

 

No more rumbles today

In which I forgive Matthew Parris his sins

Which particular sins of his do I have in mind?  Well, hardly any actually because I don't know the man, I only read his usually urbane, witty and intelligent columns in The Spectator every week.  Even so, a few weeks ago as the temperature was rising in the final run in to the referendum, he suddenly turned very nasty against the leading Brexiteers.  He sounded like the old queen that in one way he is but in another way he usually isn't!  Well, we're all entitled to our off days, for example, sometimes my sunny nature turns to near terminal grumpiness - yes, hard to believe, I know!

Anyway, today he is forgiven because he has put into words, sensible words, thoughts that have been flapping around in my mind since the infamous Chilcot Report was finally published.  Now, I am not a fan of Tony Blair but I do not think that his conduct of the Iraq war deserves ludicrous legal challenges.  As Parris puts it:

Doubtless Blair and everyone around him were incompetent. Doubtless they took on trust what they should have rigorously tested. Doubtless they shamelessly overegged the case to get support for what they believed to be necessary. Doubtless they never planned properly for the aftermath of the invasion, and doubtless the plans they did make were flawed. The whole fiasco was marked by blunder, delusion and miscalculation.

But, as Parris says, in effect, 'So what's new?'  That's what prime ministers and presidents do, have done and will continue to do.  Blair, and almost everyone around him, never contemplated the outcome that arose.  If fingers need to be pointed they should be wagged in the faces of all the military and intelligence 'experts', none of whom were prepared to resign.  In the meantime, let history be his judge - and executioner!

"Victory has a thousand fathers but defeat is an orphan."