SPEAKERS' CORNER

I can talk as well as write, so if you are looking for an entertaining speaker to amuse and interest the members of your club or society, please contact me: david at davpat dot co dot uk.  The following is a list of subjects:

Will's Women: A Nun, a Tart and a Dark Lady

Will's Grumpy Old Men: A Kid, a Con Man and a King

Shakespeare in Love: The Young, the Middle-Aged and the 'Don't Ask'!

Three Naval Battles: Trafalgar, Jutland & Midway

The Waterloo Campaign: The four days prior to the battle

The Battle of Waterloo

How the Germans Lost WWI in the First Eight Weeks

The Battle of Three Emperors

The talks last 45 to 60 minutes depending on how garrulous I become after all the wine you will have pressed upon me!  Whilst I hope that by the end my audience knows a little more than than they did when they arrived, I never forget that my first duty is to entertain.

Comments

[david morris]

If you are speaking at a venue near Bristol, please let me know.

I would be very interested to attend any of your military talks, having purchased (on your recommendation) books on Jutland/Churchill/Ld George/
Masters & Commanders WW2. Not a dud among them !

Kind regards

[David Duff]

David, thanks for your enquiry, I will reply directly by e-mail.

[PuckoonII]

Having got to that age when the idiocies of the western world are now merely amuse-bouche in the feast of life, I was confounded, dismayed and then mightily tickled by an example of twenty-first century double-think that I believe would have stopped Eric Blair's Cassandra-like skills in their tracks and have him wondering how humanity had hurtled from the traps of life's race, by-passed tragedy and gone straight to farce; sans coullot, sans dignité, sans une indice.

All this merriment for the niggardly sum of £2.00!*
How can this be?

Let me direct your attention to a product of the esteemed 'Linda McCartney' provender;
viz. “Vegetarian Meatballs”
“You what?” I hear you say. But I assure you, 'tis true. The marketing mega-brains that push the ersatz charcuterie must have eventually settled, however uncomfortably, on the most delectable of oxymorons – MEATLESS MEAT BALLS. Truly an epithet of our times.

Whilst we may chortle at this unhappy marriage of convenience food, we should spare a thought for the essential nature of the dilemma. 'Linda McCartney' (blessed be her name) Inc. has to convey the moral superiority of pain-free protein while at the same time describe a product that will tempt the palate, albeit a palate indoctrinated in an omnivorous regime.
So could you do better? Would not 'Pig-Kind Koftas' or 'Lamb-Loving Links' cut the mustard?
It ain't easy, she's my brooder, hen!
My best offering returns to the essentials of forcemeat fare; cheap cuts in a collagen bag;
- “Vegan Faggots”
Yes I know there will be those who object to the fascistic connotations of the bundled stick shtick,
but think of the pride with which the truly woke can proclaim;

I used to be a food princess until I tasted Vegan Faggots!

* (£2.75p Waitrose, other suppliers are available. )