Boris 'tells truth and shames the Devil': Huge SHLOCK-HORROR today as Boris states 'the bleedin' obvious' by telling us that the EU monolith is intent on establishing a supra-state to rule the entire European continent a la Hitler and Bonaparte. It is the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth and lest you doubt me (er, and him) then go ask the Greeks!
You didn't read this here: So once again the 'Cocklecarrots' in their infinite stupidity issue a blanket injunction forbidding anyone - and that means you, too, Duff! - from mentioning a story which, needless to say, is freely available 'over there' at the click of a button. Suffice to say that an exceedingly brave man who took on the might of the Kremlin's apparat and who fled, like his murdered friend, the late Mr. Litvinenko, for refuge in Britain, has been charged by the CPS (yeeeeeees, quite!) with possessing and making child pornography. The accused has issued a writ for libel against the CPS but in view of the stern admonition of Mr. Justice (who sniggered?) 'Cocklecarrot' that all references to this court action are to be forbidden then I must tell you that under no circs should you visit The National Review and read this article. You have been warned! And I don't want any comments about it either!
And here's another forbidden subject: The 'Euro-nightmare Song Contest'! And no, of course I didn't watch it, what do you think I am, some sort of masochist? However, I would like to congratulate my Aussie friends for failing to win the ghastly thing but most of all for knocking the Russkies down to third place! I will avoid asking the obvious question as to what the Aussies are doing in a European song contest, suffice to say that they did their duty and gave the Russkies a smack! Anyway, next year I suspect that 'the cousins' will be invited to join. I urge them to avoid it like the plague because irrespective of the quality of their entry it will be used as a means of humiliating them by placing them next to the Brits at the bottom of this non-musical manure heap! In the meantime, let's hear it for that gallant little Ukrainian gal who stuck it up Putin's pipe!
I'll be the judge of that: To add another story to the six volumes of How and When Did Our Police Go Bonkers, I gather from Her Majesty's Right Royal Telegraph today that two high-ranking lady female police officers became embroiled in a very loud and very public altercation over which of them possessed "the best boobs"! One of them, an Assistant Chief Constable, no less, has been suspended - and I don't want any auto-erotic comments on that particular image! Even so, the matter cannot be left, as it were, to hang there, a decision must be taken. On the basis of my considerable experience, I once went out with a police woman but found the buttons on her tunic far too difficult to deal with, I am prepared to offer myself as judge and jury on this delicate case. Yes, I know, my innate sense of public duty is endless!
The 'Hefferlump' joins Boris (and me!) in telling EU how it is: Yes, Simon Heffer joins the throng pointing at the mammoth German elephant in the room:
Five years ago I wrote a piece referring to the control Angela Merkel exerted over Europe as “the Fourth Reich”. I was accused of a horrible breach of taste. However, when one looks at German power today one realises that, when I wrote, she had hardly even started. The key to German success is this: it participates in a weak currency (whose value would collapse without it) enabling its exports to sell far more cheaply than had it retained the Deutschmark. Therefore, it continues to grow in economic strength relative to its partners – including us – but especially those in the eurozone, notably France and Italy, who would benefit greatly from restoring the Franc and the Lira.
The 'Hefferlump' also reminds us that the euro currency will eventually collapse under its own contradictions and the 'SHLOCK-HORROR' result from that will outweigh even that forecast by the chorus of wailing nuns produced last week by 'Dave 'n' George'.
Lewis vs. Niko: Only four corners in and the Mercedes drivers took each other off at the Spanish Grand Prix. Someone is to blame - but who? Well, it's obvious, innit? Lewis is a fine, upstanding, young Brit (alright, his dress sense is a bit off) and Niko is a damned Hun. Need I say more? (You see, you can always rely on this blog for absolutely fair and unbiased commentary - sorry, did you say something?)
In which I raise a forbidden subject: Well, it's my blog so I can ignore my own instructions, can't I? I am referring to the 'Euro non-Song Competition' which, happily, I missed last night, and last year, and the year before that, and so on ad infinitum! Well, actually, I do vaguely remember when that British gal sang a song whilst wearing no shoes but don't ask me who she was let alone what the song was! Anyway, I refer you all to Fraser Nelson over at The Coffee House where he opines that the reason we always finish near the bottom is because the BBC doesn't know how to 'do light entertainment'. If that is true then I am delighted just so long as they follow Mr. Nelson's advice and hand the entire thing over to ITV. A BBC TV free of pop songs sounds like heaven!
Your Monday Funnies will appear on Sunday: This is because I am out and about all day tomorrow and given that the economy is wobbling on a precipice, I cannot allow morale to drop amongst the wage-slave class! So later tonight you will have a sneak preview.
No more rumbles today!
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